1949-03-31 The Plainsman

              ARISE YE WORKERS
OF THE WORLD
f THE CHAINS
HIGH BIND YOU
TO FOSTER THE AUBURN SPIRIT
VOL. LXXV ALABAMA POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE, AUBURN, ALABAMA THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1949 Number 22
Glomeration Editor Asks For Search
Of Entire Campus For Missing Page
Panic has struck behind the dirt-coated windows of the
Glomeration office. The two members of the staff spent three
hours in mediation and silent prayer yesterday? All the time
they were praying, they were scrambling through the dusty
leavings and bones of the former editors who finally gave
up, and laid down and died.
The cause of such tumult (hor­rible
to relate) has resulted from
the fact that the only page of the
Glomerata yet finished has been
lost! It had been the cherished
hopes of the editor, Pew Ghastly,
that the yearbook would be pub­lished
in time for the students
enrolled in school now to receive
their copies when they return to
the Alabama Polytetanus Insti­tute
for Homecoming in 1972.
But now all is uncertain. The
editor, returning to the Glomerata
office from a cup of coffee at the
Alabama Polytetanus Institiute's
Grille last night, discovered that
the precious page was missing.
He had been carrying the pre­cious
page with him all that
night and had guarded it care­fully.
To the speculation that the
page may have been snatched by
a member of the Plainsman staff,
we hasten to say "lie" since the
Plainsman could have only one
use for such a page, and at the
present we have plenty of paper
of that sort.
It is hoped that the page will
soon be found. All the wheels
on the campus ane searching dili­gently
for it since Pew Ghastly
has promised a two-page spread
in the Glomerata in a one piece
bathing suit to the wheel deliver­ing
the lost page.
If the finder of the page will
call the inferno, he will be able
to get in touch with the editor of
the Glomerata. If the page doesn't
show up by Monday, Pew Ghast­ly
will be carried back to the
Glomerata office to begin again
on the yearbook. 'J
Harassed Falseman
To Speak To SOB's
Word has arrived via Local -237
of Southern Union (Congregation
of Inferior 'Organizations) that
President Harassed Falseman will
be the honored guest and princi­pal
speaker at the annual South­ern
Conclave of Sigma Omega
Beta Fraternity, which is to be
held on the Alabama Polytetanus
Institute campus the week of
April 4.
President Falseman will leave
Laundrytown on the rods of the
Southern Curve's crack train the
Pockey Hauntus immediately af­ter
a special executive session
Wednesday morning, April 1. Up­on
his arrival sometime the after­noon
of April 5, he will be greet­ed
by Raffle B. Drone, president
of Alabama Polytetanus Institute,
the Auburn Band, and fifteen dogs
from Wet Hill.
From the station the President
will be escorted to his sweet on
the tenth floor of the Spitz Hotel,
where he will entertain newsmen
and other non compes mentis'.
At the banquet to be held the
evening of April 8 in the Blue
Plate Special Room of the Blue
Bagnio, President Falseman will
engage in a verbal duel with
creampuffs at ten paces with na­tionally
known columnist Pew
Drearyson. The winner will be
presented the coveted award of
SOB Man of the Year.
The annual Southern Conclave
cf Sigma Omega Beta Fraternity
is held every year.
Wayout T. Sturgeon
Wayout T. Sturgeon
Publishes Another
Brand New Novel
Dr. Wayout T. Sturgeon, asso­ciate
professor of Egyptology,
has announced that his latest
book, Tut Tut, Tut Ankamen,
has been acepted for publication
by Henry Schmolt and Son of
New York.
With the publication of this
book, Dr. Sturgeon's total will
reach-3,002; In fact, Dr. Sturgeon
is the only member of the faculty
who r devotes all of his time to
writirtg books. He teaches no
classes.
Dr. Sturgeon is the noted au­thor
of Arabian Knights, a study
of chivalry in Saudi Arabia;
Gone With The Wen, a plea for
tumor control; and Life In A
Pretty Knife Factory, a thesis on
industrial esthetics.
According to Dr. Sturgeon, his
latest book is the result of many
years of tedious research.
"I backtracked through the
centuries searching for little
clues which would definitely re­pudiate
the fallacious rumour
that Tut Ankamen was convicted
of first degree pederasty by an
Egyptian courts-martial in 2,003
B.C.," he added.
When asked if he was planning
another book, Dr. Sturgeon said
that he had in mind a new book,
What's Cooking?, a study of die­tary
habits of certain New Gui­nea
cannabalistic .tribes.
Dr. Sturgeon is a member of
the Fellows.of Egypt, Royal Aca­demy
of Egyptian Fellows, Ord­er
of Fellows of Egypt, and So­ciety
For the Preservation of
Egyptian Irrigation.
Recently Adapted
Class Schedule
Effective Monday
According to a release from the
Awburn News Boro, Alabama
Polytetanus Institute will begin
on its recently adapted'24 hour a
day schedule Monday. The re­lease,
sent to the Plainsman of­fice
by stool pidgeon express, said
that the news came from Dr. David
Maulem, director of instruction.
According to release, the new
plan, proposed by the Board of
Bunglers at their meeting just
prior to the Civil War, was ac­cepted
by the Kounsil of Queens,
Dr. Raffle B. Drone, and Dr.
Maulen plus the Student Perse­cuted
Counsel. It was opposed
by the Plainsman. Classes wiil
run from dawn to dawn, accord­ing
to the release.
"We feel that Auburn students
are not getting a complete edu­cation,"
Dr. Maulen said. "In or­der
to help these coeds who have
to retire at 9:30 p. m., we must
have a compulsory educational
program. In order to help those
students who pass out at 9:30 p.
m., we have decided that we must
do something," he added.
Under the new plan, students
are to get a four-sided education.
They will be taught how to act
in the stadium, the forestry plots,
Ag Hollow, and the Windmill.
Professors will be stationed at
the four locations. Students will
conduct all morning classes so
that the professors may sleep.
Miss Anthrope Election
Slated For Next Week
This year's Miss Anthrope and
her court of five campus slatterns
will be chosen at a general elec­tion
to be held April 4, it was an­nounced
today.
An annual affair, sponsored.-by
the Lovable S o c i e t y , national
woman's movement for better pos­ture
whose slogan "Good Figures
Or Bust" keynotes the election, it
will be the highlight of the current
social season. Miss Anthrope will
be named at a slumber party held
by the Lovable Society in the new
men's dormitory Saturday night.
Hermione Sludge, president of
the Lovable Society, said that this
was an important election and
that she didn't care how people
voted but that they just ought to
get out and vote.
President Raffle B. Drone Quits
Post To Take Job In High School
MISS AWBURN, 1949, turned out to be none other than tal­ented
and lovely Miss Elmira Belle Antebellum of Magnolia Bud,
Ala. She was chosen by the usual minority in the campus-wide
election held last week. A member of Sigh Oh sorority, she is a
very popular coed.
Kounsil Of Queens Accept New Plan
To Eliminate Registration Red-Tape
The milch talked about new plan for the registration of
^uaen^aT^tMe'^TabaTna- Pblytetanus Institute was officially
adapted by the Kounsil of Queens at their regular meeting
Wednesday. The plan, conceived by Barley Headwards, regis­ter,
and Mercy Stall, assistant register, will go into effect
next quarter.
FOUND: One Form Fit bra
at stadium last night. Owner
may claim by asking for Joe
at the Tappa Kegma materni­ty
house. Reward expected.
The new procedure calls for
radical changes in registration
and it Is thought to be the only
solution for present bottle-necks
which cause the students much
trouble. When the plans go into
effect, students will merely re­port
to classes and tell their in­structors
their names. The in­structors
will report the names
of their students to the registers
office, thus eliminating the long
lines for registration.
| There will be no direct pay­ment
of fees by the students. In­stead,
the Awburn City Commis­sion
will levy another tax on stu­dents,
funds from which will be
turned over to Travelin' Travis
Ingum, treasurer and chief thief
of the Alabama Polytetanus In­stitute.
This procedure will not
only reduce registration worries
of students, but it will also cut
the number of persons who must
handle the money. This plan is
expected to insure a more stable
cut for Ingum.
Dean I. V. Hadum, dictator of
(Continued on page 8)
Merryman Hunches
Delivers Address
Dean Merryman Hunchessj de­livered
the main address at the
annual banquet of the Roopville
Amateur Ham. Radio Club on
March 21. Speaking on the topic,
"The Psychological Effect of Soap
Operas on Hogs," Mr. Hunchess
received a great ovation from the
local hams.
At the beginning of the lecture,
Mr. Hunchess stressed the harm­ful
effects of tapeworms, screw-worms,
maggots, and cholera in
pigs. He then progressed to the
emotional aspects of swine and il­lustrated
his statements from the
Hensy Report. Later Mr. Hunch­ess
stressed the fact that over 63
per cent of the hogs in Alabama
had P.D. (Pig's Diseases) and he
suggested, as the solution, that
local butchers collect a sample
of blood. The butchers, who
were recently in Auburn, will re­turn
in May to begin the testing.
"The love life of a young pig,"
said Mr. Hunchess, "begins in the
pen and in many cases when they
stray off the beaten path, they
end up in the pen." Statistics
from the Hensy Report indicate
that most sows have more than
two pigs, he stated.
Mr. Hunchess concluded with
a brilliant comparison of soap op­eras
and pigs. "They both have
one thing in common," he said.
"They stink."
Raffle B. Drone
Halfway Tavern Is Seen
Of Founder's Banquet
y
The Halfway Tavern was the
scene of the annual Founder's
Night banquet of Psi Omigosh so­rority
last Saturday night, March
25.
The banqueteers were served
snail soup, sauteed slug, and Heli-cidae
tea. Miss Pratt Pizener,
senior at Alabama Polytetanus In­stitute,
was the principal speaker.
Police Arrest Two,
Claim They Shrdlu
Two Coed Students
LOST: One 1949 Lincoln
Continental convertible auto­mobile
with one fifth of Cor­by's
in glove compartment.
Believed lost in front of- Au­burn
Bilge during coffee hour
yesterday. Finder may keep
car but please return bottle to
Mitch Sharpe at Plainsman of­fice.
Dean Spittle Named
To Hand Graft Post
Mrs. Merriam V. Spittle, dean
of the School of Husband Hunt­ing,
was elected secretary of the
Northwestern Husband Hunting
Slaloming Section or Hand Graft
Colleges and Universities in Wal­la
Walla, Wash.,' between quar­ters.
Miss Tessie T. Terris, dean of
vice of the School of Husband
Hunting of the Transversity of
Mexico is chairman of this sec­tion.
Squares Honorary
Holds Election
Squares, highest honorary for
lowest income sophomores, an­nounced
the results of a recent
election.
Those elected were:
Danforth Q u i n c e , president,
Rumble; Macey Zilch, vice-presi­dent,
Catzpaugh; Jason Smirch,
secretary, Mendelsville; John Surd,
treasurer, North Unctious, Pa.;
Frank Stamp, c h a p 1 i a n, East
Helve, Neb., and Terry Halt, door
keeper, Rutabegger, Ala.
FOUND: One garter belt
with garters attached in stew
at women's dining hall Wednes­day.
Owner may recover belt
from Miss I. B. Bones, head
dietition of the dining hall.
DIR Hears Chainhoist
The regular meeting of the
Daughters of the Industrial Revo­lution
was held March 24 in the
basement of Sanford Hall. Mrs
R. Q. Chainhoist was elected pres­ident,
and Miss Janice Newbolt
was chosen as "Miss Airhammer
of 1949."
FOR RENT: Lovely furnished
apartments within walking dis­tance
of Tuskegee. Call Mrs. I.
M. Ready at 302 Cornstalks,
Ala.
Two students, Joe Lone and
Bill Bang, were formally charged
with etaoin shrdlu etaoin shrdlu
last Wednesday night, Awburn
police revealed today.
The girls involved .were not
named, but it is reported that they
are still in the infirmary. Their
condition was reported improved.
However tests have proved that
the girls are both definitely etaoin
shrdlue etaoin shrdlu etaoin shrd­lu.
The alleged offense took place
near trie forestry plot about mid­night
last Wednesday, the charge
read. According to one of the
girls, Bill Bang stopped the car
and etaoin shrdlu etaoin shrdlu
etaoin shrdlu.
However the other girl was
quoted as having said that the
fault was entirely with Joe Lone.
She said that he told her before
they left the Lantern that she
would either etaoin shrdlu etaoin
shrdlu etaoin or walk back. •
Police are holding both Lone
and Bang until the Circuit Court
meets. T h e y will be formally
charged with etaoin shrdlu etaoin
shrdlu at that time, Chief Hale
Yellis said.
Both Lone and Bang vigorously
deny that they are guilty of etaoin
shrdlu etaoin shudlu at all. They
insist that they were just out for
etaoin shrdlu etaoin shrdul shrdlu
shrdlu.
Student Cooperation Is Too Much;
Phys Education Is More Appealing
Shy, modest, unassuming, unappreciated Raffle B. Drone,
president of the Alabama Polytetanus Institute, told twenty-five
Plainsman reporters in a private interview yesterday
that he was resigning from his present position effective to­morrow
to take a job as Physical Education instructor at
Loachapoka Junior High School
in Loachapoka, Alabama.
Drone's exact words, preserved
for the record by twenty-four of
the reporters, were, "To hell with
:it. I quit!" Although he would
not disclose the reason behind his
resignation, most authorities at-~
tribute it to the wonderful co­operation
Dr. Drone has been re­ceiving
from the student body,
particularly the wheels. This ex­cess
of cooperation by the stu­dents
has left him with no pro­blems
to solve, no ticklish situa­tions
to cope with, and in general
completely functionless and bored.
As the many admirers of Dr.
Drone know, and there are many,
his success has been achieved sole­ly
through hard work, the solu­tion
of problems, the coping with
of ticklish situations, and his
slightly myopic vision.
Dr. Drone came to Alabama
Polytetantrs Institute in 1946,
leaving Sneezy Hollow in the fall,
which is the custom in any well-ordered
hymenopteran communi­ty.
His first job on the campus
was to develop new and more ef­ficient
methods of removing in­grained
graphite and clay deposits
from the inside bounding surface
of the so-called 'porcelain room'
of the homo sapiens male. Dr.
Drone licked this problem in re­cord
time with an ingenious com­pounding
of the inexpensive and
abundant materials metamor­phosed
sedimentary minerals, and
calcium carbonate (meaning he
put up blackboards and chalk).
Because of his excellent work
on this problem that had been of
almost national concern, Raffle
was quickly elevated to the first
floor of Sanferd, where he was
given the post of chief janitor un­der
B. G. Booster. He held this
post for three days before he was
finally given the job of Execu­tive
Secretariat.
Immediately after the death of
the late lamented president, the
Board of Bunglers met and voted
unanimously to make Dr. Drone
Chief of all chiefs, at least tem­porarily.
Tiring of the search for
a better qualified man, the Board
of Bunglers voted unanimously to
make Dr. Drone Chief of all
chiefs, at least permanently, five
days later. Thus Dr. Drone be­came
president of Alabama Poly- .
tetanus Institute.
Dr. Drone's resignation leaves
the Alabama Polytetanus Insti­tute
again without a president.
Among those being mentioned for
the job is Raffle Greenbean, out­standing
stooge and Auburn grad­uate.
Drone's successor will not
be named until the Board of Bun­glers
meets again in 1956, but an
acting-president will be named
in the near future.'
Dr. Drone holds four degrees
from as many outstanding U. S.
universities. They are:
B.S., Alabama Polytetanus In­stitute;
LSMFT, Woodpecker Poly­tetanus
Institute; LLD, Pecker-wood
Polytetanus Institute of
Northern Louisana; and T.S., Uni­versity
of Alabama Polytetanus
Institute.
THIS YEAR'S GLOMERATION BEAUTIES, selected by the
council of deans are pictured above in the unsociable center. By
rare coincidence the beauties turned out to be none other than
(left to right): popular Jennie Belle Schmunchess, daughter of
Dean Schmunchess; lovely Amy Belle Schmare, daughter of
Dean Schmare; adorable Ima Belle Schmugg, daughter of Dean
Schmugg, and ravishing Theda Belle Schmallen, daughter of
Dean Schmallen. The coeds were selected from a group of 50
different girls nominated by various organizations about the
campus. (Photograph by Leonard Gresham Kearney.)
Paper Gets New Offices
From Kounsil Of Queens
The Kounsil of Queens of the
Alabama Polytetanus Institute
voted this morning to renovate the
fifth floor of Sanferd Hall for the
Plainsman in appreciation of its
editorial pages which have foster­ed
happy relations among the
faculty, administration, and stu­dent
body.
This location is considered a
distinct advantage because the
editor will have a desk in the
tower and will be able to see the
comings and goings of everybody.
There is a possibility that the As­sociated
Pressers ticker service
will be installed to keep the edi­tor
informal on Egg and Wet Hill
activities.
Work will begin immediately,
and B. G. Booster, head of the
bitch and groans department, jaid
that the task should be finished
sometime before the turn of the
century. The reason for rushing
with this job is that the Plains­man
office is needed for a class­room.
The Kounsil of Queens is also
considering a proposed bill which
would allow the editor to tap all
telephone wires going into the
President's office. However, some
sources believe that Deen Babylon
Thud will veto the bill.
WANTED: One baby carriage
on or about January I, 1950.
Call Brew Bunter at 999X-M.
Outstanding Coed
Key, Pin Collector
Recently Selected
Annabelle Anklin, president of
the Wormy Students' Grouching
Association, was recently named
as the outstanding woman pin
and key gatherer on the Alabama
Polytetanus Institute campus by
the local chapter of the Woman's
Constitutionally United Descend-ents
of Jacksonian Democrats.
Miss Anklin was selected for
outstanding success in gathering
keys and pins. She is a member
of Bowels, Stinks, Canary Key,
Wormy Students, the Executing
Caburnet, and Krappa Belta so­rority.
Miss Anklin is a hopeful senior
in the school of hedonistic defa­mation.
Tier home is in Flushing
Downs, Md.
, 2—THE PLAINSMAN
fty.---. - -.
Thursday, March 31, 1949
f
Hair Roe In Six Day Bike Race;
German Transfer Student Wins Easily
The annual Milbur Muscle-Alpha Sigma Sigma six day
• ' b i k e race was held last week on t h e Alabama Polytechnic In-
1 s t i t u t e tract. The winner was a young transfer student from
,. the University of Berlin, Hair Roe. His home is in the pro-m,
vince of Schleiswig in N o r t h e r n Germany.
The Muscle A.S.S. bike race is I
held each year at the end of the
winter quarter and all male
freshman ate required to com-
>pete. This year's freshman class,
the largest in •history, produced
'" the largest number' of partici-
""^ pants ever entered in the event,
three.
Roe received a number of
' lovely gifts Jay winning the covet­ed
race. The most important prize
was a kiss from the winner of the
recently-held Alpha Sigma Sig-
,''ma Kissing Contest. .The winner
._ of the Kissing Contest was a coed
'/from Section, Lotta Suction.
| j j | Among the other lovely gifts
«*%resented to Roe were a straight
| pin from Odious L. Pill, a pro-
E gram of coming attractions fromj>
i,,.ttie Yea Bama theater, two
J" straight pins from Thrasher-
| Wrong, a piece of chalk from Mr.
S Q u a c k s pool hall and three
I straight pins from Spits-Kald-
\ well.
Alpha Sigma Sigma
Taps Ten Students
t» Ten students have been tapped
for membership in Alpha Sigma
i Sigma, honorary society for those
who excell in being tapped for
memberships in honorary societies,
Dr. H. T. Boxes, dean of advanced
canoe study, announced recently.
Dr. Boxes is the faculty advisor
for the Alabama Poly tetanus In­stitute
chapter of Alpha Sigma
Sigma. He has been an ASS since
he came to Auburn as manager of
students' private life in 1900.
- "A student must have 11 keys
on his chain before he can be an
ASS," Dr. Boxes explained. "The
avowed purpose of the organiza­tion
is to give its members an
even dozen keys that they may
flash about the campus."
Anyone who g i v e s a damn
about who was tapped should
contact Dr. Boxes at his home.
Hair Roe
WCPU To Meet
Miss Minnie Bottles announced
today that the Southern Auburn
WCPU will hold its weekly meet­ing
Saturday night at the Blue
Bagnio. Absinthe Q. Pernod will
speak on "The Wine Industries
Contribution to the World-Wide
Cork Shortage."
Auburn Marblers
Beat 'Bama 55-0
Alabama Polytetanus Institute's
unbeaten marble .team won its
forty-third consecutive meet last
week, crushing the marble team
of the University of Alabama,
55-0.
Leading the Alabama Polyteta­nus
team to victory were little
Glen Nixon, who" is only four
feet 11 inches tall, -and Marbles
Mantrone. Little Nixon surprised
Alabama's ace, Sure-Shot Salem,
by calling "No Pixie" in a crucial
game.
Mantrone defeated his oppon­ent,
Rebel Mangina, with ease.
Mantrone's usage of bottom-Eng­lish
on his shooting taw was near-sensational.
Other Polytetanusites who par­ticipated
in this meet' were Hot­shot
H e r r i n g , "Lagging-up"
Langner, and little J o h n ny
Smellavich.
ASC£ To Feature Movie
On Connubics In Motion
A film will be shown at the
Monday meeting of the American
Society of Connubial Engineers
President Japeth Horn announced
today.
It will be a study of connubics
in motion he added.
All members and interested per­sons
are invited to attend. ,
Fie Fie Krappa Unjoins
Foiir Former Brothers
The Fasta Chapter of Fie Fie
Krappa s o c i a l fraternity an­nounces
the unmembering of the
following men:
Wintroph "O h i o" Moriarity,
Beersburg, Ohio; J. Pierpoint Sha­piro,
Williamsboig, Va.; Gatsby
Phumph, Nonsecquitur,* S.C., and
Darlmarg A. Fetich, Monstrous,
Ala.
The unmembered were enter­tained
at a crucifixion held in the
chapter room at which time? their
pins were lifted.
Shasta Mew Entertains
Ova Ova Unda Fellows
Members of the Shasta Mew
social sorority (entertained mem­bers
of the Ova Ova Unda social
fraternity w i t h an all night
drinking bout in the Fitz Hotel
last Saturday. ,
Entertainment consisted of li­bidinous
advances by various
members of the Shasta Mew. John
Quartzbeet, of Ova Ova Unda,
amused the party by opening sev­eral
cases of beer with a calcified
toe nail on his right foot.
Refreshments consisted of wa­tered
bourbon and cold showers.
Bobsleders Honored
With Annual Banquet
The Auburn bobsled team was
honored last week with a banquet
held in the Lavender Blue Room
of the Spitz HotTel. The sledders
recently completed their season
without a defeat.
Highlighting J h e banquet was
the presentations of Aw b u r n
sweaters to the team members.
The sweaters were purple with
eight tiny reindeer stitched under
each armpit.
Earlier in the evening the team
members had been entertained by
an address by Coach Red Draw­ers
of Tuskamoosa, Alabama. His
address was entitled, "Bob-sled­ding
in the Atomic World."
The program w a s concluded
with a' songfest led by Hairy Arm­pit,
singing such old bobsledding
Auburn Wrestlers
Get New Material
Coach Irish Soreback, the Ala­bama
Polytetanus I n s t i t u te
wrestling coach, announced last
week that a number of promising
youngsters had been given wrest­ling
scholarships to attend school
here. Among t h o s e ' receiving
scholarships were the Masked
Marvel, Nick Carter, The Angel,
and Clark Kent. Kent has gained
fame under a pseudonym, Super­man.
i
Several members of this .year's
championship team will return
for another year of service. They
include Fearless Dragoon, Spar­row
Baker, and Whitsher Black-
Spunner.
Fibza Dances Tonight;
Armpit Plays With Her
Doctor Hairy Armpit, head of
Auburn's music department, will
present a recital featuring scores
from his own work tonight at
11:30 p.m. in the stadium, it was
announced by the concert and
lecture series committee.
Dr. Armpit, who composed the
music in his spare time from
writing his own press releases,
will vocalize his compositions.
The lyrics were taken from the
walls of local rest rooms. Ac­companying
Dr. Armpit will be
Hubert Liverwurst, who will play
the oboe, c y m b a l s , and base
drum. Other faculty members
who can be picked up at random
will also play assorted iristru^
ments.
Miss Argar Fibza will do a
background dance during the
performance. Miss Fibza's dance
is entitled "The Last Cord" arid
ends dramatically by Miss Fibza
hanging herself.
favorites as "Let It Snow", "I've
got My Sled To Keep Me Warm",
and "Jingle Bells."
Members receiving sweaters
were Erskine Muscle, W. C. Wob-berly,
John Bradeock, and Fred
Ducheart.
B. G. Booster
Equipment Purchased
By B And G Department
Three new pieces of equipment
have recently been purchased by
the department of bitch and
groan for incresed improvement
and distubrahce of the Alabama
Polytetanus Institute campus, B.
G. Booster, B&G head, has an­nounced.
Mr. Booster explained that the
new equipment will be of great
help to the department, "it will
enable us to disturb the entire
campus instead of bothering only-small
sections as we have pre­viously
been forced to do."
The new equipment consists of
one defrocked bulldozer equipped
with a special, amplified, un-muffled
motor; one nucle'ar pow­ered
eraser for cleaning black­boards
in the-iittie boys' rooms,
and one dyrtaaaic, double-noise,
ground-jarring, pneumatic drill
for undermining buildings.
Special Meeting Monday
Purple Latch To Hold
Hermes A. Frodite, president of
Purple Latch, local extra-curricu­lar
honor society announced to­day
that there will be a special
secret meeting of the organization
at seven p.m. in the Subterranean
Room of the Blue Bagnio.
The purpose of this meeting is
to select the men to be trapped at
the end of this quarter.
'Lost Horizon' Party '
Held By TSU Group
Members of the Trappist Stu­dent
Union held a party'Saturday
night in the T.S.U. room of the
First Trapp Church.
The theme of the party .was
"Lost Horizon."
Entertainment featured a rip
roaring game of musical chairs, a
thrilling round of Twenty Ques­tions,
an exciting game of Drop
The Handkerchief and a peachy
hand of Old Maid.
Refreshments consisted of white
bread and soft water.
The party was nearly ruined
by a member who showed up
with a faint odor of cloves on his
breath. However, he was forgiven
when he explained that his moth­er
had just sent him a jar of her
homemade, preserved cloves.
After the party the boys walk­ed
the girls back to the dormitory
the chaperones walked the boys
walking the girls to the dormi­tory.
Chaperones for t h e evening
were: Mr. and Mrs. John Shibo-leth,
Mrs. William M. Goyem and
Mrs. J. Morgan Ludicrous.
Mu El Shu Initiates
Outstanding Students
Mu El Shu, national honour
society in farriery, announces the
formal initiation of the following
hew members:
Gunther Phew, senior in Agri­cultural
Nomenclature, W a rt
Hawg; Acme Dittleworth, junior
in' Agricultural Sophistication,
Brandenburg; Alfie Hay, senior
in Agricultural Aggrandizement,
Slow Burn; Phillip Nul, junior in
Agricultural Persiflage, P r a tt
City; David Vetch, senior in Ag­ricultural
O b s t e t r i c s , Framis,
N.H., and Walter Blurge, Senior
in Agricultural Pornography,
Surcingle, North Car.
The new members were enter­tained
with a sleigh ride to Lake
Chewacla last Saturday.
WANTED: Room w i t h in
walking distance of lhe cam­pus.
Call John at 9134 after
midnight.
• ^^»» + ^mimmmm~»m mm m ^n .—
COFFEE!
.»
COFFEE!
Our Coffee is
guaranteed to
be the best
in town. We
make it from
only the finest
quality pecan
shells. Raffle
B. Drone drin
B. Drone
drinks his cof­fee
here — So
do many many
of t h e Other
local yokels.
We also serve
f i n e foods.
Our specialty
is fried buz­zard
on toast.
Eat and drink
with us.
//
HE'S BILGE BOUND!
THE AURURN BILGE
Where Wheels meet and eat.'
BIG
DEAL
BIG
SALE
President Raffle B. Drone Announces
Plans For Remodeling FPHA Barracks
Plans are being completed for the remodeling of the
FPHA barracks in the early future, it was announced today
by Raffle B. Drone, president of the Alabama Polytetanus
Institute. The F P H A dorms, which are s i t u a t e d conveniently
to the campus, will be renovated in the early future and
landscaping will be supervised by B. G. Booster, director of
the bitches and gripes depart
ment.
The already fireproof barracks
will be covered with asbestos
shingles on the enterior and a 50
car garage will be constructed ad­jacent
to th rear entrance. Bath­tubs
which are :n each room will
be replaced with modern showers
with running water and the in­terior
of each room is to be plas­tered
and painted in designs from
Esquire by local talent. Bear skin
rugs will be placed on the new
hardwood floors.
"All rat poison and ant powder
can be thrown away," ^declared
Mr. H. L. Filler, director of
room service, "for each room will
be rodentproof—the contract hav­ing
been let to the Ramsey Rodent
Firm of Birmingham." T. D. Rev-ens,
of the forestry plot will in­vestigate
the termite situation. To
assist his investigation the usual
committee has been appointed by
Billious Hammack, president of
the student persecuted Kabinet.
All food may be kept in the new-
Westinghouse Coolerators which
will be installed in the kitchen
on each floor. "However" stated
President Drone "we cannot al­low
drinking upstairs." Due to
this fact a bar is being situated
downstairs for the use of the lo­cal
non-tee totalers.
Telephones are to be installed
in each room along with the new
radio phonograph combinations.
The only request of the adminis­tration
is that quiet hours be ob­served
after 1 a.m. Beds are to be
the colonial style complete with
canopys.
Applications for admission are
limited to residents of the New
Men's Dorm at present.. The stu­dent
persecuted Kabinet and the
Dairy Science Club have ap­proved
the project.
BATTLE BUZZARD
•FALLACIOUS PECTQRALS
* GLUTEUS MAXIMUS RESTRIGTORS
• STEATOPYGIAN ACCENTUAFORS
MONDAY & TUESDAY
CALL OF THE VILE
A STORY OF HOT,
HOT SEX
STARRING
PAULETTE GARTER
GREGORY DECK
, .V.,M4^ID.-ADAMS
WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY
CHEESE IT, THE COPSE
A STIRRING TALE OF
A WOMAN'S LIFE IN
THE NORTH WOODS
% STARRING
MARGRET O'BRINE
C. AUBREY^ SMITH
FRIDAY & SATURDAY
THE HILLS OF HOME
FEATURING
JANE RUSSELLS
A DOUBLE FEATURE
SUNDAY
LIFE WITH FODDER
STARRING
ESSIE
ELMER
BEULAH
FERDINAND
<#Q«OOAO*Ow . . . . - *•
• u i 1
BALONEY'S BOOK EXCHANGE
,%
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GUARANTIED LOWEST PRICES FOR ALL YOUR BOOKS
i
si
Si
Si
i
i
4 «
J.
3—THE PLAINSMAN Thursday, March 31, 1949
Crime Roundup
The Sigma Gnu house was the
scene of a daring robbery last
Thursday night. While all of the
members were in the basement
installing a new boiler, someone
removed two of the Grecian col­umns
from the front veranda.
r
A passer-by first noticed the
columns were missing and quickly
reported to the engineering de­partment,
who rushed civil engi­neers
out to erect dobb's trusses to
support the sagging ceiling.
The Sigma Gnu's have threat­ened
to vote dry in the next elec­tion
if their columns are not r e ­turned.
. ^
* * *
A dastardly crime has left the
Theatre Chi fraternity house a
scene of sad-faced men. While
they were busy erecting Grecian
columns on their back porch, in­truders
removed the boiler from
the furnace room.
They hope to get the boiler back
in time for their annual bath cele­bration
where all members take
a bath.
The laff-boy soap company has
sent special investigators down
from Sudzy Meadows, Penn., to
see that there is plenty of hot
water on hand for the annual
celebration.
* * *
The bodies of two Alabama
Polytetanus Institute s t u d e n ts
were found last night at the rear
entrance of the Lupino, local tight
club. According to Police Chief
Glide Trellis, the two students
were identified as "New Mex"
Dual of Orifice, N. Mex., and Lloyd
Wenton of Fumblebust, Ga.
The two bodies were found at
approximately 11 p.m. when Witch
Harpe, another student, stepped
outside to tie his loafers. Appar­ently,
the two students had stab­bed
each other to death in a fit
of pique with two overly cooked
french fries.
Harpe told Chief Trellis that he
suspected the cause of the dual
stabbing to be an argument that
he overheard earlier in the Lupino.
The two men had been talking
over a glass of sarsasparilla when
Dual suddenly jumped up scream­ing,
"To hell with liberal arts."
Wenton immediately used seve­ral
choice words in a description
of all physics majors. Immediately
both men picked up a french fry
and rushed outside.
It is a well known fact that Dual
and Wenton had recently been the
instigators of a wordy argument
appearing in this paper. -.
Personality
Permnents
^ ^ ^ C J
• From
Hunger
The new denim look for the smart coed
—be chick on that blanket party with your
favorite etaoin shrdlu.
Rogue Beauty Saloon
Sliding Slavic Slidewell
Slidwell Wins Cross-Country Ski Race;
Finishes Four Beers Ahead Of Snortin
A stunning upset was scored last week when Sliding
Slavic Slidwell won the cross-country skiing race over the
gruelling Auburn-Opelika course. Jocko Snorton, South Ala­bama
AAU Ski Champion had been favored to win but Slid­well
slid too well.
Snorton jumped into an early lead and held it until he
reached the Windmill. At this
stage, suffering from a severe case
of frostbite, Snorton paused to
warm his hands. Slidwell refused
to be tempted and continued on
through the snow. At the Midway
he had built up a big enough lead
so that he too could pause to
warm his hands. Reports say that
upon departing from 4he Midway
Slidwell appeared noticably re­freshed.
At the finish . Slidwell lead
Snorton by 500 yards ,and four
beers. Finishing third was a prom­ising
newcomer, Whitey Over­weight.
Coach McGook was par­ticularly
pleased with Whitey's
performance. Said Coach Coiley
Newbutt, "If only Overweight was
underweight i n»s t e a d of over­weight."
Next week Coach Newbutt and
his men will journey to St. Peters­burg,
Russia, w h e r e they will
meet the St. Pete Reds in a cross
country duel. The following week
Patient Of Inferno
Dies After Release
Bands were playing Twosday
and mobs of people jammed the
streets in front of the College In­ferno.
It was a big occasion for
the students of the Alabama Poly­tetanus
Institute. Dr. Strickly
Ham was to let a patient out of
the Inferno alive!
It was a mighty impressive
scene, particularly when the great
Dr. Strictly Ham led the parade
out of the door of the Inferno. Re­porters
from hundreds of the na-.
tion's leading' newspapers awaited
a word of explanation about the
strange case.
Out of the door, leading the
procession, came Dr. Strictly Ham.
The crowd went wild. "Speech,
speech," cried the mob. As the
great Dr. Strictly Ham raised his
hand, a hush fell over the crowd.
Immediately after Dr. Strictly
Ham made his historical speech,
they will meet the Moscow Reds,
the Stalingrad Reds and finally
the Vladivovstok Reds.
DaisyPicking Date
Set By T. C. Shark
The fourth annual Alabama
Polytetanus Institute • Daisy-Pick­ing
Contest, sponsored by the con­sort
and Speal committee, will be
held at 2 p.m. Sunday, April 5, ac­cording
to T. C. Shark, director
in theif of students affairs (for­eign
and domestic) and chairman
of the committee.
The contest will begin in the
westeasterly c o r n e r of Snake
Field and will end at the north-southerdly
end of the Awburn
Bilge, local coffee and cigarrette
house. As is the custom, only
those students who have won
varsity letters in dodge ball will
be eligible to participate.
Raffle B. Drone, president of
the Alabama Polytetanus Insti­tute
will be on hand to present a
thimble-sized brass loving cup to
the winner. In a talk witlj con­testants
yesterday, Drone said,
"There are no boundaries, time
limits or even rules, but let me
take this opportunity to warn you
against trying to sneak in a few
hollyhocks or hibiscus blossoms
along with your daisies. We can
tell—our sotany professors are­n't
as dumb as they look. Anyone
trying to pull a fast one will be
taken before the faculty discipli­nary
committee."
• Last year's trophy was won by
Andy Dougbutt, star center of the
dodge ball team, who picked 999,-
999 daisies and a four-leaf clover
to finish one leaf ahead of Pea-brain
Adcock.
Wealthy Alumnus Dies;
Leaves Cash To Auburn;
Drone And Davis Happy
President Raffle B. Drone an­nounced
yesterday that $3.23 had
been contributed toward the con­struction
of the proposed three
million dollar Student Union
Building for the Alabama Poly­tetanus
Institute.
President Drone also announced
that a whirlwind money-raising
campaign had already gotten un­derway
to raise the remaining
funds necessary to begin con­struction.
A box supper is be­ing
planned for next quarter, with
the entire proceeds going to the
boilding fund. Drone estimated
that at least $4.50 would be made
in this undertaking.
In connection with the building
program, Unhappy Davis, Secre­tary
of the Slumni Association, an­nounced
that the will of multi­millionaire
John D. Richfellow,
Auburn '88, called for a sizeable
donation at Awburn. Owner of
John D. Richfellow
the Impure Oil Company, Mr.
Richfellow died recently. The
executors of his will have mailed
Mr. Davis a check for $1.25 which
the deceased so generously con­tributed
toward the building of
a Greater Awburn.
Foreign Language
Teacher Passes 7
Almost 50 per cent of the stu­dents
in the foreign language
class taught by Miss Fam Spin-achseed
were passed last quarter,
according to a statement released
by Dr. A. C. Achikitsen, depart­mental
head.
"Out of a class of 15 the sur­prising
number of seven students,
approximately 46.667 per cent,
were given passing grades. This
is the first time since the estab­lishment
of the department at
Alabama Polytetanus Institute
that this remarkable phenomena
has occurred," said Dr. Achkitsen.
"We will not stand for it!"
When contacted, Miss Spinach-seed
explained that the seven
students passed were taking her
course, ninth quarter Cherokee,
as a g e n e r a l elective. "It is
against departmental principles,"
she explained, "to pass anyone
who is required to take the course
until they have failed it at least
once.
the only patient that has ever
come out of the Inferno alive
dropped dead at the doctor's feet.
Funeral services for the student
will be held as soon as the sopho­more
class of the Wet School finds
time to embomb the lad.
TO MY OWN BROTHER I WOULDN'T
SELL IT CHEAPER
They're
a steal
at half
the price
I'll- hate
myself in
the morning
Where could you get a shirt like this
today for a price anywhere near where
where this one is? You can't go wrong.
These shirts is the best on the market. And
that ain't hay . . . it's the best cotton twiH-made.
Shirts by Van Doozin at $25 per /
each one.
OILY L. TILL
"The Man with the Crepe"
Chehaw i Ourtown
S T U D E N T S ! !
Still Sore About That 102 Grade!
Endorsed By
U. S. Army
Steel Helmet
Thrown In Free
Even Up The Score With A Genuine
.30 CALIBRE MACHINE GUN
From
Trashy-Tight Hardware Co,
Marriage And Family
Lab Change Announced
The registrar's Office announces
that the laboratory scheduled for
the Marriage And The Family
Course has been changed from
new building, room 123, to Hare
Stadium.
Barley Headwords, registar, said
that he supposed the change was
made because of an increased en-rollement
for the course.
The h o u r s have not b e en
changed. They remain from 9 un­til
12 p.m.
Milinary Department
Obtains Transportation
The ROCK repartment of Ala­bama
Polytaneous Institute re­cently
obtained three passenger
Model A coupes which will be
used to carry ROCK students from
the main campus to the Millinery
Hangar near Tuskegee.
These cars will leave the cam­pus
at intervals one half hour
prior to class time in order that
the students may be on time for
ROCK classes in the hangar.
BENGAL
SHOW
WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY
RACHEL'S
LITTLE STRANGER
ROBERT TWITCHUM *
LORETTA HUNG
RACHEL
FRIDAY
HENRY THE PINT
BASIL RAWBONE
VIVIAN GRANT
HENRY
SATURDAY
UST IN THE DUST
HUMPER GOCART
LORINE CALLBACK
2nd Chapter
DICK TRACY ON BARS
SUNDAY & MONDAY
THE BIRTH OF A
NATION
ERROL FIEND
CHARLIE CHAPLAIN
also
SELECTED SHORT
SUBJECTS
with
SINGERS MIDGETS
TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY
M0MMER AND
POPPER
SHIRLEY PIMPLE
LASSIE
Published w&e'kly b y students of API, Aiiburn,
Ala. 'Editorial and business office oh Tiehenor
Ave.-, phone '448.
Deadlines: Organizational news, want ads, tftcj,
Saturday noon. Front Or :back page, Monday,
2 p. m.
•mm — . I I I III
!# MoVn^OTI G^fl B* Mitch Sharpe
Entered as second-class matter tit -the :pds't-office
at Auburn, Alabama, !-kib9c'riptidh -rates
by mail: $1.00 for 3 months, $3.00 for 12 mbrithk
BLACK WHIMS
Snitch Shark . . . . ..
Dames DeadwOod _.L._r.
®em Winnings „.•—_.—
Green Floor
Slob Kingdom
Vdice QitaVery -—-
tfOWL TWEF»L'6VE
GYeeh H e rd
Down Abeer
Awfwl Heavens
J.
ftetrd Ckeese
. l^rexv-by-i'ro^y
BtfWe^fly Catclft*
Shoeshme Boy
SpongdiV^r, Sffl t f o ss
Marbles ^ i i n tn
P a r t y Goer
_„ .„ Money Loser
Money Grabber
.„ Fire Starter
..... J a n i t or
White Collar Workers — Hussy Barbette,
Mom Tarfhih, Deadwim Cfavvfish, Tabee Tmg--
'iish, Gim'my Cleveret't, Dim Star¥eSt«'r, Loose
Beanhill, Void Squintin, Zoo Grunter, Nal-y
"SOtte G^ftt, Fotfdle WorirneV, D r am MeCofftn,
Smoe Pillcher, Headwind Spinster, Swerve
Hind hurt, Bilious Cow, Key Retailer, Grim
Flotsam, IWud Fight, Shniex Tool.
Fo' Them What Gave
The Plainsman wholeheartedly backs the
latest 'plan suggested for the 'care of veterans of
World War II.
^ That great southern statesman from that
great southern state, which crouches sleepily on
the other sid£ of t h a t great southern river, the
Howcheddchee, separating our own great south­e
r n s t a t e from it, Slick Hustle, has recently pro­posed
a bill for free love, a h ew automobile, free
o'bsterical cafe and forty acres and a mule for
each veteran of the late. war.
I n connection w i t h this great proposal Sena­tor
Hustle said: "Ah mean thas t h e least we can
do for them pore boys who gave so unstiritly
(sic) of there time during the recent fight fo'
Deemocracy."
Yes, we do h e r e b y go on record as endors­ing
and echoing that great southern senator,
Slick Hustle of the sovereign state of Jawjuh,
when he says, "Ah, mean thas the least We can
d o : . ' . . "
f
__—_——
"A building, God Wot, is a lovescrtne t h i n g !"
—Ode On A Grefih Urn
A building is indeed a lovesome thing. And fnan is irrevocably
bdund to one. He is born admid the sterile sanctity of a hospital build­ing
;and is mummified amid the s t e r i l e sanctity of an embalming p a r ­lour.
Man learns thus to love the building at an early age. Certain
classes of modern thought have even theorized on the possibility of
prenatal influence in man's love of
Sharpe
as compared
a building.
A beautiful building strikes a
man, figuratively speaking, in much
•the sartie fashion as does a beauti-f
Ul woman. He-
•likes to stand back
and admire it ob­jectively,
taking it
in as "a whole. To*
heighten his esthe­t
ic pleasure he likes
to go up and run his
hands lovingly oyerijj
its firm foundation';
and notice the skill.
with which it has*
been laid. .
And whilst on
beauty in buildings
with that of women, man can take
joy in seeing a young and new build­ing^
and satisfaction in seeing an
old one and remembering when it
was first made. So you see man will
always have a warm spot in his
heart for buildings.
As you might have suspected, this
little digression is leading up to
sortiething 'concerning hot a build­ing
but a Ideal btiftsirig. The one I
have in mind is 'the Very masonic
heart of the campus. 'It's very ex­ternal
a'ppea'rahce fe'flects t h e spirit
anil progress at 'our aggressive and
youthful school 1 mean, Of course,
Sarriford fta'll. Yes, Samford . . .
known 'lOvihgly to many as "Ole
Sarifdrd." That dear old lady who
-squats oh -the lawn riext to that ve­nerable
old gentleman, Langdon
Haft.
From 'the minute one makes his
reverent ingress until one makes his
reverent egress, he is acutely con­scious
of the air of antiquity and of
pride which seems still to hover in
the cool quietness of its hallowed
halls. One can see antiquity in all of
its 'glory lingering in almost every
cubic inch of this building which is
truly the real Mater of the Alma-
There are those who would slander
Samford however. They say she's
old and decaying, rotting and risky,
worn and weary. Aye slander this
rock of Gibraltar which will be
standing long a'fter many of the tem­porary
Buildings around 'the cam­pus
have crumbled in dust. They
are the insidious and the perfidious
ones who 'rjftnour that the termites
must hold hands to keep the place
from falling apart every time a dddr
is slammed within her holiness. And
they are the ingrates who say that
if the wind ever shifts too quickly
to allow the old dear to lean into it
that it will collapse on its fade, But
these are t h e Pariahs and Philistines
and are to be Ignored. Should you
hear them spreading i their oppro-briiim,
consider 'then the source arid
treat it with the contempt it so rich­ly
deserves.
Samford may not be getting any
younger, but she is hd't without
friends-who look after her health and
well being. B&!G, that plastic sur­geon
to the campus, sees to her. Re­member
how "badly the stairs were
worn? Remember how the dead
wood of Hie steps was worn so thin
that the air beneath them was be­ginning
to show through? And re­member,
too, "that it was B&<S who
tore out this dead wood and put in
sturdy steps.
Although dead wood may occa­sionally
crop tip in Samford, it will
never be her undoing with Buildings
and Grounds on t h e ball. After all
wood is temporal but Samfdrd is
immortal. And long a'fter we are
gone and dead ourselves, the new
atomic generation will be studying
and learning right there.within the
protective confines of the matriarch
of the campus.
Shoot 'Em Dowti Like Dawgs!
Every town in the country would like to
have a college within its city limits. That is a
'commendable ambition, but most of the city
fathers who advocate such a project forget
'the evils which accompany 'any institution of
higher learning. On the face of them, these evils
a r e completely innoccuous. They may be seen
wearing threadbare seersucker suits, glasses,
long hair, except at the time df their semi-an­nual
haircut, a perpetually worried look, and a
briefcase. Anyone who has ever had anything
to do with an institution of higher learning will
immediately recognize these evil influences as
college professors and their proteges, t h e col­lege
instructors.
All professors talk. That is, t h e y make some
sort of non-rythmic, non-musical vocal ndices
t h a t are supposed t o convey information. Some
professors play tennis. Others make speeches or
own sailboats. Some review books for out-of
town newspapers. Some direct plays. Some
don't shave. Others don't marry. Many tell ob­scure
anecdotes to illustrate obscure points.
Most of t h em have violently conservative poli­tical
views which they disseminate promiscu­ously
among the unwary students.
There are some people, mostly college pro­fessors,
who claim that college professors are
just as normal as t h e rest df us, b u t these people
a r e merely a lunatic fringe and should not
be taken seriously. College professors are dan­gerous!
They enjoy the fruits df academic life.
They are sadists who derive an insane pleasure
from giving pop quizzes and failing grades.
Their insatiable lust for minutae is endangering
t h e American way of life and the American
home.
Students, your course is clear! We must
show no mercy! We must unmask them as the
t h r e a t s to progress and the un-American Way.
Act Now! Arms will be issued on midnight,
'April 1 at the Plainsman offide.
A Greater Auburn
At this time the Plainsman wishes to com-rmend
t h e college on t h e splendid job it has done
in getting the tennis courts it promised last
fall. Speaking in behalf of t h e student body, the
Plainsman says, " A well done to all hands."
Never in the history of Auburn have the
students found the institution so completely
ly cooperative and helpful. NeVer before in his­t
o r y have so many owed so much to so few.
We can all be proud of the wonderful pro­g
r am that is being rapidly brdught to a reali­zation
for a greater Auburn. Ndw that we have
our tennis courts, t h e r e are dnly 879 major pro­j
e c t s t h a t need to be completed according to the
plans before the student body will be going to
school at a g r e a t e r Auburn.
The Plaihsmah wishes to go on record as
saying that the student body 'has confidence in
-those who need it so badly. We stand 1'0'2 per
cent behind you. Keep up the good work.
The Perverted Vi
By Tom and Thumb 1947
Sweet Auburn! lowest village of the plain
, Where common cold and influenza reign,
Ahd Spring's own beauty comes on breast of flood,
And sylvan paths are turned to glutinous mud.
Where aqua pura risen in basement rooms
And Summer's own breath from Ross Lab fumes,
You have no interest for the laboring swain
Who labors on seventy-five a month in vain.
The bashful virgin's sidelong looks of love
Are rare indeed on College Street above
West Mag or Alumni Hall these days.
All love has flown and greed in silence lays
Along the village streets and silent walks.
A fog of avarice where money talks.
The wretched hag no longer roams the wood
In search of faggots or of wild cress food.
Upon her rotting hovel she has placed
A neon sign with fiery letter traced:
"An erhpty room for students eight or more,
An empty loft to house perhaps a score."
(Don't wander further, sucker, for your bunk,
In one rtext door a couple leased a trunk.)
On Glenn or Thatch or Toorrier's macadam
In boarding houses (surely named in jest)
Trichinaed pork defies the acid test.
Frustrated goat or aged Missouri mule
Did give their all to fill a crowded school.
And o'er it all, the gr'eedy hag does grin
Her toothless smile as though it were no sin
To pan Her ill-gained nuggets from their checks
And make of heroes schizopbrenic wrecks.
She sweetly smiles in diabolic way:
"Just fdrty bucks for eating everyday,
Except of course at Saturday's evening meal
A'rtd Sunday morning. Shall we make a deal?"
Some stalwart souls did vow the more 'to seek
But restaurants did make their blood run cold,
A dozen Einsteiris could ne'er ctiunt the gold
'TWdu'ld take to buy sustinence fOr a day,
Arid even stauricher men would run away
Prom aproned "Blatta Orientalis" black
Who serves the order in this buggy shack.
\ Under yon awning, which breaks the force of sun,
There leans a merchant rich as anyone
Of many merchants in the town well heeled
With gold and fixed for life's Elysian Field.
For all his riches gained, he has a heart _
As large as prices in his noble mart.
*" His thoughts, his life, his love are centered in
The sweetest village, which for years has been
His thoughts, his life, his love, his way of gain.
In truth he's found a gold mine on the Plain.
In yonder thicket like a warren wild
There is the house where destiny's own child,
The broken soldier with the crutch, does creep
With academic problem and does weep
His troubles out upon the feet 'and floor
Of coordinator and others more
Or less in charge of his drab fate in life,
His seventy-five, or huhdred-and-five wife.
To this lost soul are given veiled behests
And stacks and stacks of scientific tests.
Sweet Auburn, lowest village of the Plain
Where bulging pockets all are lined with pain
Instead of gold and silver coins of Sam.
For Auburn Spirit they give not a damn
These traffickers in staff of life so dear. ^
fHey wield the whip throughout the weary year.
Ye thirsty leeches, cease your greedy hold
Upon meager wealth. Your hearts are cold,
As cold inside as chocolate milkshake
For which you get an ample two bit rake.
Perchance a brighter sun Will grace our brow
In days to come, but all i£ darkness now.
By Boyd Hinion
_ _
It's high time the students of
A.P.I, realized that the city of Au­burn
is dbirtg everything in its
power to make their stay pleas­ant
and economical. These alleged
writers who continually complain
about the state of affairs here and
the cOst df living should consider-all
Jthe services the city renders
the student practically free of
charge.
In the first place, the streets are
well equipped with first rate gut­ters.
Now every city in the world
doesn't have gutters of the calibre
of Auburn. It has been said in the
past that Auburn is. the Gutter
City, arid the city does in fact
boast the best gutters in the whole
of East Alabama.
To all the persons who are not
familiar with Auburn's gutter
prestige-should consult the Janu­ary
issue of "Goggle Magazine", ih
which a double page is devoted to
the local gutters. The magazine's
front cover is a nine color repro­duction
of the famous sign on Doo-mer's
comer which reads "1 n these
gutters have fallen "the rrtost edu­cated
drunks in the world. Auburn,
the Gutter Cfty, is proud to boast
*hat student and professors alike
'have fallen in drunkeniy 'together
With no discrimination, whatso-
' ever." <£
And this is just one of the many
advantages to be' found in the
great city of Auburn. Take fof in­stance
the :aburidance of parking
meters that are on the streets.
Parking meters are of course the
ohly complete solution to t h e 'park­ing
problem. When a student parks
his car, it is only right that he
should pay for the privilege. Be­fore
the invention of the automo­bile,
a large percentage of the
city's" revenue was gained from
sale of manure that was collected
from the streets. However, when
the automobile came into favor,
this' source of rhortey was com­pletely
cut off. The city had every
right'to substitute a means of stay­ing
solvent. But the city, realizing
that some of the students could
only spend a couple of hundred
dollars each month decided to only
make him pay during the day. in
the opinion of this author, the city
bas every right to make the stu­dent
pay 24 hours out of the day.
This is to mention just a couple
of reasons the city should be
thanked for all the excellent ser­vices
it furnishes the students.
Give this serious and enlightened
thought and remember therels no
fool like an April fool.
Chiff
by Jim Watson
x
Girls sit A.P.I, have too many
easy restrictions.
One of their rules is that they
can stay out 'till 7:30 during the
week and even 11 o'clock on the
week ends. This is entirely too late.
I'm sure that if very many par­ents
knew that their. daughter
could stay out on the streets run­ning
around 'till 7:30, there would
be many fewer girls at Auburn.
However, this would be better on
the boys as there would be less
evil temptation from gals.
Many boys have picked up bad
habits such as smoking, drinking,
only to name a few, from the girls
and all because the girls can stay
out late and be a bad influence.
Occasionally a girl comes in late
and is put on restriction for a few
nights. Better she was -hanged.
Why these restrictions are so pet­ty
that girls stay out over time on
purpose just to feel that are do­ing
something else wrong.
And another thing, girls are not
allowed to go into men's boarding
houses or dormitory rooms. If they
were allowed to go into men's
rooms, they could see first hand
just how to arrange clothes prop­erly
and how to cobl whiskey in a
water closet. '
Girls are not allowed to make
phone calls after 11:00 p.m. Now
this rule has actually kept many
girls from finishing college. Why
in the old days before these mid­night
rules were passed any girl
could phone her bookie around
midnight and pick a winner for
the next day's, race and pay her
way through college with her pro­ceeds.
The rules definitely need chang­ing
and no doubt there will be a
revolution soon. A petition is cur­rently
being circulated by the
T.F.Y. (The Foolish Yucks) com­mittee
which will bring a referen­dum
on the question: Resolved that
section z of article 444 of the girl's
control regulations be changed in
order to promote free and open
dormitories and that a committee
will be appointed to regulate ex­penditures
on the women.
I'm sure that everyone will give
deep thought to the arising men­ace
on the campus: The woman
situation. And anybody that isn't,
is just a plain april fool.
ri as
.<&*
;II1B!1|^(
tip ; "
\
These charming Bdbsey triplets of Waldo, Ark.; attribute their ravishing
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The triplet on the right is wearing the genuine Alarmform Up-And-
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df fellows. WEAR ONE—even your boy friend can't tell.
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"Go Second Class"
And for ladies Who come n a t u r a l l y equipped—
T r y our velvet-lined Alarmform for t h e last work in Soothing Comfort.
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MAKE ONE CALL DO IT ALU
Send your brat to us. /
Our Work is Thorough
QUANITY LAUNDRY & WET
DOES YOUR WIFE OR
GIRL F R I E N i ) HAVE
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*
AFTER OUR TREAT­MENT..
(example at hit.)
i
5—THE PLAINSMAN Thursday, March 31, 1949
Extensive Pogram To Be Presented
At Panhellenic Workshop On April 2
The annual workshop of the
Auburn Panhellenic Council will
be April 2. All mern'bers and
alumnae of any N.P.C. sorority
are incited to attend. Tickets for
the luncheon may be obtained
from Miss Ruth Wilson, assistant
dean of women.
The program for the workshop
is:
10:30 a.m.—G e n e r a 1 group
meeting, Doris Parker, president,
presiding. Miss Katharine Cater,
Dean of Women at Auburn will
speak on "The Purpose of a
Workshop"
11:30 a.m.—-panel discussions.
1. Alumni and Active-Relation­ships
speaker—Mrs. Gussie Free­man
District President, Phi Mu
2. Rushing—Mrs. Hilda John­son,
National Membership Vice-
President, Delta Zeta
3. Public Relations—Mrs. Dee
Foster Simms National Chapter
Vice-President, Theta Upsilon
4. Pledge Training—Miss Eve­lyn
Sellers, Alpha Delta Pi Dean
of Women at Howard College
12:30 p.m.—Luncheon ..Quad­rangle
Dining Hall.
"What Panhellenic Can Do On
T h e A u b u r n . Campus"—Mrs.
George Dean, Past National Presi­dent
of Alpha Omicron Pi -
2:30 p.m.—Panel Discussions.
5. Finance—Mrs. P. O. Davis,
member A l u m n a e Advisory
B6ard, Chi Omega
6. Scholarship—-Mrs. Kathryn
Whitne', Beta Province President
of Kappa Delta
7. Office Training—Miss Julia
Riser, Past National President of
Alpha Gamma Delta
4 p.m.—Informal Tea in Social
Center. Given by the Auburn
Alumnae.
LOST: Grey wool flannel
overcoat at Sports Arena. Call
Hollis Horlon at 26 for reward.
wife
hot qft
-female*'"
Short Treats!
GYPSY ^HOLIDAY
and
World News
FRIDAY!
. CARY GRANT
JEAN ARTHUR
ONLY ANGELS
HAVE WINGS
•
Color Cartoon
O.
SATURDAY
Arctic Fury . . . .
Revenge horn of hate!
iifi 1 JH
ANDY CLYDE COMEDY
Unusual Occupation
SATURDAY LAfE
SHOW
WILLIAM POWELL
IRENE DUNN
LIFE WITH
FATHER
Color by Technicolor
Olivia
deHavilland
"The S N
• •
SUNDAY
MONDAY
This is t h e story of a woman for
whom time stood still while love
waited beyond the trembling cur­t
a i n that stands between the real
and unreal!
Pete Smith
Special
arid
World Ntfws
TIGER THEATR TUESDAY
Arthur Lake
Penny Singleton
"BLONDIES' BIG DfcA!"
Mjss Betty Hildreth
Sigma Pi Fraternity Orchid formal
Held March 26 In Activities
Alpha Delta chapter of Sigma
Pi fraternity held its annual Or­chid
Formal dance in the student
activities building the evening of
March 26. The music was pre­sented
by the Auburn Plainsman
Orchestra and the building was
decorated with a reproduction of
the Sigma Pi emblem. The orchid
theme was carried out by plac­ing
imitation orchids on posts
outlining the dance floor.
In the leadrout, the couples
passed around the emblem and
met in front, then passed through
a picket fence and formed two
lines by alternating to the right
and left.
Leading the dance was Miss
Betty Hildreth, of Enterprise, es­corted
by Ralph Jackson, presi­dent
of the chapter. Other mem­bers
and their dates in the lead-out
were:
"""Betty Ruth McFaden, Montgo­mery,
Clarence Hornsby; Peggy
Spivey, Headland, Jones F. Har-barger;
Carolyn Vann, Haleyville,
John Gates; Marion Creel, Head­land,
Francis M. Ray; Sue Cook,
Cottonwood, Fred Fuller; Robbie
Ward, Eufaula, Bruce Barksdale.
Carol ,C6bb, Columbus, Ga;, Ro­bert
Barksdale; Margaret Anne
Beverly, Troy, Wiley Bunn; Mary
Sue Green, Opelika, Bill Cum-mings;
Dot Host, Montgomery,
Tom Curley; Betty Waites, Alex­ander
City, Jack Estes; Frances
Gibbons, Deatsville, Frasie'r Gal-'
loway.
Gayle Armstrong, Dothan, Carr
Knight; Sue Robertson, Covin,
Columbus, Ga., Odell Long; Anne
Lihdsev, Abbeville, "Roger Mc
Clarty; Bette Whitson, Birming
ham, Bill McKinnon; Anita Sh'ir
ten Bain, Pell City, Bill Purdy.
Sarah Machovec, Pell City, G.
W. Purdy; Louise Chandler, Tus-cumbia,
Dan Spangler; Ivy Wil-lingham,
Montgomery, J a m es
Thomas; Doris Crawford, Autau-gaville,
Jim Curtis;-Betty Bain,
Pell City, Bill Singleton; Jean
Fike, Talladega, Ben Wadsworth.
Bertha Owens. Mobile,,-Jessie
Robinson; Dot Thompson, Yarbo,
Eugene Cox; Marjory Parsons,
Birmingham, Bill Powell; Jane
Salmon, Auburn, George Riley;
Shirley Watson, Sylacauga, Boh
Bain; Billye Burgin, Birmingham,
Ed Powell.
Nancy Salvo, Birmingham, Tim
Lagrone; Barbara Lockhart, Au­burn,
Tom Williams; Wanda Cor­nelius,
Mobile, George Marcussen;
Sara Hodges, Fairfax, Sid Wil­liams;
Shidley Doak, Dothan,
Cliff Stephensin; Jean Farmer,
Dothan, Don Hornsby; Gloria
Johnson, Mobile, Pat Ryan.
Kathryn Kilgore, Birmingham,
Frank Mackey; Sudie Wilson,
Birmingham, Don Vaughn; Betty
Nichols, Florence, Charles String-fellow
;TSTell Childs, Cullman, Jim
Johnson; Yvonne Griffen, Au­burn,
Bob Jerferies; Emily Blake-ey,
Montgomery, Don Miller; Eve
Rae Kennedy, Cullman, Niles
Land.
Bebe Gibbons, Florence, Bill
Lynn; Jean Hudson, Birmingham,
Jimmy Phillips; Joyce Kelley,
Birmingham, Earl Posey; Pete
Barber, Pell City, Bob West; Lu-cile
Taylor, Dothan, Earnest Ma
Gene Logan; Beatrice Peltier,, ^ a h a ; Patsy Bishop, Fairhope,
Fred Qiiattle'baum.
Mr. and Mrs. Don Bain; Mr.
arid Mrs. Charles Allen; Mr*, and
Mrs. Medford Beverly; Mr. and
ey, Haleyville, Owen Posey; He-Mrs. Tom Laseter; Mr. and Mrs
2P ^sloWstwoxInfl
o f "CRAX* * H i n ... k o o W *he answer
w i t h asock, the w y ft smooth h b « a
££»£.'-""" mill
SMOKE tAMEIS FOR 30 DAYS
-anel you'llkftowl
In a recent coast-to-coast test of hundreds of
me n and women who smoked only Camels for
30 days-an average of one to two packs a
day-noted throat specialists, after making
weekly examinations, reported
—NOT ONE SINGLE CASE
OF THROAT IRRITATION
HOW MILD CAN A CIGAREtfE fc£ ?
WELL, SKifCrt, THE CAMEL 3O-DAY
TEST CONVINCED ME THAT CAMELS
ARE THE MttOEST CIGARETTE v
IVE EVER SMOKED]
IW&Msm
fMei
fr*Ci
IVE KNOWN THAT FOR YEARS.
NANCY1. AND I GO FOR
CAMEL'S FULL,RICH FLAVOR,
TOO\
C ^ M ^
tm m ifStoJmikt
It's real harmony when Sketch
Henderson and lovel" Nincv Reed, his
featured vocalist, get togethei and
sing tin- prais«s of Cacif! mHilii'.'JS.
Try Camels and test them as you smoke
them. If, at any time, you ate not con­vinced
that'Camels are the mildest ciga­rette
you've ever smoked, return the pack­age
with the unused Camels and we will
refund its full purchase price, plus post­age.
(Signed) R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Com­pany,
Winston-Salem, North Carolina,
Hi
tar Is Scheduled
The Auburn Players will take
their first spring production on the
road for a series of eight one-night
engagements beginning April 8,
Prof. T. B. Peet, head of the dra­matic
art department, announced
recently.
"Little Brown Jug", a psycho­logical
melodrama written by Ma­rie
Baumer, has been selected for
spring production. Heading the
cast will be Christine Malone, of
Birmingham, and Leonard Hart, of
River Falls.
Hazel Riley, dramatic art ma­jor
from £>zark, will serve as as­sistant
director of the play, whose
cast includes Carol Dorrough, Bir­mingham;
Jack Seay, Louisville,
•Ky.; Joe A. Smith, Auburn; and
Robert Laney, Birmingham.
The prbduction will open first in
Auburn with three showings in
Larigdon Hall, April 4, 5, and 6.
Road tours will begin April 8
when the cast will appear at Hef-lin.
April 11 has been booked for
a showing in Enterprise, and on
April 13, the play will be given in
Leeds. Booked for April 14 is Phe-nix
City, and on April 17, the play
will be presented at Fort Benning,
Frarik Massey; Mr. and Mrs. Ho­well
Henderson; Mr. and Mrs.
Robert J. Jones; Mr. and Mrs.
Coles Nix; Mr. and Mrs. James
Brown. «
Mr. and Mrs. Lysle McNeal; Mr.
ahd Mrs. Rayrriond Robinson; Mr.
and Mrs. Denton Stewart; Mr. and
Mrs. Buddjfc Bolteler; Mr. and
Mrs. Bill Sealy.
Stags were Bob Adams; Sid
Brown; Douglas Fuller; Glenn
Hooper; Bert Hudson; Jack Mit­chell;
Tom Mofrissey; Warren
Richardson; James Maddox; Bill
Hornsby; Ed Knight; Charlie
Peek; Bobby Dawsey; Leo Daw-sey;
Tom Hooper; 'Ga'rl Worthing-toh;
Campbell Little; C. Ray
Jones.
Ga. A triple booking is scheduled
for April 21, 22," and 23 when
'•Little Brown Jug"'is presented in
Bessemer, Pratt City, and McCalla.
5
i A FILLIP
For PHILIP
ARROW'S SPRIAD COLLAR STYLES
with FRENCH CtiftS
Phil, Bill and Jack—like many college men—like the extra
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the famous Parker "51" made new and
different in 14 important ways.
The new Foto-fill filler, for example,
makes filling the New "51" ex'taTfast and
easy. You know it's filled—you can see the
ink supply . . . a bigger, longer-lasting sup­ply.
You'll never have to worry about this
pen going dry in the middle of an exam!
What's more, the New "51" has "Aero-metric'control."
It's safeguarded against
leaking even at jet plane altitudes.
And that's only the^begiftning. There's
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6—THE PLAINSMAN , Thursday, March 31, 1949
Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity Formal
To Highlight Week's Social Events
Alabama Alpha of Sigma Phi
Epsilon will present its annual
formal dance on April' 2, 1949.
The Auburn Knights will furnish
music for the dance which will
be held in the Student Activi­ties
Building.
Leading the dance escorted by
the chapter president Zeb Robin­son
will be Miss Patricia Prizer,
Pressmen's Home, Tenn. Chapter
housemother, Mrs.' Grace Walk­er
will present Miss Prizer with
flowers during the leadout. Mem­bers
and dates attending will be:
Ben Kirby, Judy Spence, Ath­ens;
Charles Hooper, Patsy Allen,
Auburn; Kit Burgess, Kitty-El­liott,
Birmingham; William R,us-sell,
June 'Hay, Memphis, Tenn.;
Carl Bruner, Anna Jean Frank­lin,
Birmingham; Al Durrance,
Sudie Wilson, Birmingham; Dick­ie
Hudson, Judy Anne Routon,
Gadsden; Larry Bell, Francis
Cooper, Gadsden.
John Carden, Suzanne Chand­ler,
Opelika; Donald Parsons, Joy
Simpson, Daytona Beach, Fla.;
Marshall DeShields, Tommie Bar­nes,
Montgomery; Bob Payne,
Betty Whitson, Birmingham; Bob­by
Ward, Dot Davis, Birmingham;
Preston Bush, Francis McLamore,
Grove Hill; Harold Brown, Kath-eleen
Box, Cleveland; Robert
Bayliss, Billie Cheney, Atlanta,
Ga.
Collins Gordon, Kate Green,
Hope Hull; Rob Thompson, Betty
Woodward, Fairhope; H a r o ld
Rains, Janice Garrison, Gadsden;
Frank Williams, Jean Sterling,
Birmingham; Jack Diamond, Dot
Bethea, Tatum, S.C.; Rufus Tur-nipseed,
Carolyn Ellis, Auburn;
A. G. Westbrook, Hazel Soloman,
Eutaw.
Jimmy Thompson, Ulwyne Har-rall,
Gunnersville; Bruce Green-hill,
Claire Hight, Birmingham;
Gerald Feild, Betty Simmons, De­catur;
Hugh Spurlock, Jane Law­rence,
Birmingham; Tommy Nic­hols,
Mary Ann Sibley, Russell-ville;
Rayford Dennis, Polly. Po­well,
Arlington, Ga.
John Barber, Joanne Alderman,
Tallahasse, Fla.; Al Parrish, Jean
Fike, Talladega; Paul Blackwell,
Betty Hunter, Decatur; Bradley
Whitaker, Minnie Whatson, Ope­lika;
George Gilliland, Glga Hoo-ser,
Birmignham; John Turner,
Pat Reeves, Auburn.
Frank Burton, Billie Ruth TyUs,
Birmingham; John Beauchamp
Kathryn Jackson, Geneva; John
Clounch, Jeanette Woods, Russell-ville;
Tink Foster, Martha Alice
Powell, Scottsboro; Sam Frank­lin,
Sarah Wyatt, Birmingham;
Jim Gamble, Billie Burgin, Au­burn.*
Bill McArdle, Carolyn Burton,
Fairfield; Bill Wilson* Martha
Owen, Auburn; John Parker, Vir­ginia
Nester, Birmingham; Milo
Hill, Norma Martindale, Birming­ham;
George Smith, Ann Klein,
Opelika; Jimmy Pursell, Dot
Grey, Talladega.
Harold Sibley, Betty Nell John­son,
Red Bay; Loftin Davis, Betty
Stapp, Aliceville; Aubury Norris,
Sa^th Hodges, Fairfax; Billy
Mitchell, Jean Underwood, One-onta;
Jimmy McAdams, Margie
Blackerbye, Montgomery:
Woody Moss, Peggy Scivley,
Birmingham; John Cato, Anne
Jennings, Americus, Ga.; Jack
Barker, Joanne Alderman, Jack­sonville,
Fla.; Jack Thomas, Betty
Ann Overton, Montgomery.
WAR EAGLE I ™ E
on West Magnolia Avenue
THURSDAY MARCH 31
I K O
RADIO
ADORE SCHARY Prwewcion
CREJEN HAIR
BARBARA HAIE .„d DEAN STOCKWELL , T£CHWCOl0f!
a n B " T n r c r r I •imi " """ """"
•„<n,i by STEPfiEN »ME$ • Oir.ct.d b, JOSEPH 10SEY • Jc.«. Plor b> «EN I . K M .N „nd tlFRED itWIS l E t l lt
7
j Color Cartoon .
and News
FRI.-SAT. APRIL 1-2
EDWARD SMALL presents
II
A RELIANCE PICTURE starring
DENNIS CLAIRE MARSHA
O'KEEFE • TREVOR • HUNT
John IRELAND - Raymond BURR - Curt CONWAY - Chili WILLIAMS
AN EAGLE HON FILMS Releaa
Selected Shorts
LATE SHOW SAT. NITE 11:00 P.M.
SUN. & MON. APRIL 3-4
JOHN FORM'S TKCHMIOI.OR Legend ofthe Southwest
3 GODFATHERS!
JOHN WAYNE-PEDRO ARMBNDAfllZ • HARRY OARKY. JR
TUESDAY, APRIL 5
News and Cartoon
Produced by
— J ^ 3JTT7ARGOSY PICTURESI
CORPORATION
A METRO-GOLDWYN-
MAYER,
PICTURE
CUYMADISON
DIANA LYNN
G°'Ofi
.Mi J A M E S D U N N - MICHAEL CHEKHOV - FLORENCE BATES
I0NEL STANDER • ScrMnploy by M , Mtllier baud on I k . Salurdoy E«ni»g Port S-ory by Borry o.n.f.eW
produced b, ROBERT S. GOLDEN • p i r w f a b, y i n ™ c°.»i« • »»'«°-«i""" " N I T E D APTISTS -Sjj
Selected Shorts
m-
Miss Pat Prizer
Student Executive
Cabinet Minutes
The meeting was catted to order
by the President Gillis Cammack.
The minutes were read and ap­proved.
The roll was called and
the following members w e re
absent: Paul Sarvis, Bobbie Max-ham,
Jimmy Duke.
Ted Robins, chairman of the in­vitations
committee, submitted the
following quarterly report:
Sales: 400 leather bound
1575 cardboard
1525 frenchfold
104 orders of calling cards
The amount dfy$47.38 has been
placed in the treasury of the stu­dent
executive cabinet.
Jimmy Thompson, co-chairman
of the drives committee, reported
that $104 was collected in the Red
Cross drive.
Tim Miller, chairman of the
elections, committee, reported that
plans had been made for the forth­coming
election on the proposed
change to the constitution, a n d
submitted the following names to
serve at the different polls. Tim
Miller, Karon Jennings, Angus
Gaston, John Jennings, Ralph
Jennings, Jim Forrester, Charlie
Jones, Bill Billingsley, Crawford
Nevins, Al Durrence, Jessie Kel­ler,
. Carrol Keller, Joe Meade,
Crawford Nevins. The above
names were approved to serve
with the election committee.
Ted RobinsJ chairman of the
special committee to investigate
the possibilities of a uniform cut
system reported that due to the
interlocking of many different
schools on this campus it was im­possible
to establish a uniform cut
system, but his committee dM
make the recomendation that a
directive be sent out from t h e
president's office to each faculty
member, on the staff, notifying him
that at the beginning of each quar­ter
that the professor should an­nounce
to each of his classes ex­actly
what he expects from the
student in regards to class atten­dance.
This recommendation was
voted on and passed.
The president read a letter from
the A. V. A., which stated that
since the A. V. A. was disbanding,
they would turn over to the stu­dent
executive-cabinet their pub­lic
address system, providing cer­tain
stipulations pertaining to the
care and use of fne equipment,
were followed. The cabinet voted
to accept this equipment and a
committee consisting of Joe
Meade, Crawford Nevins, Bill
More were appointed to carry out
the stipulations provided ifor in
the letter.
Tim^ Miller, chairman of t h e
elections committee submitted for
approval of the cabinet the date of
April 21 for general elections and
April the 6 for the date that peti­tions
for this election have to be
in. These dates were approved. ^
William J. Polidoro was approv­ed
as the new representive from
the Ag Councial.
Glover Pugh suggested to the
president that hb appoint a com­mittee
to investigate the posibili-ties
of class rings being sold by
the college book store. The presi­dent
appointed Gilmer Blackburn,
Carrol Keller, Jimmy Thompson,
Jim Bob Mayf ield to serve on this
committee.
The meeting was closed in form.
SAE Leads Race
In Fraf Sports
The race for the annual frater­nity
All Sports Trophy enters the
final stage this quarter with the
Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity
leading the pack. The SAE's have
won the trophy for two consecu­tive
years and appear well on
their way toward victory this
year. They have amassed a total
of 610 points in two quarters of
fraternity competition, 80 points
more than the second place Kap­pa
Alpha's. ,
In participating in the six sports
concluded so -far, the SAE's have
scored three firsts in touch foot­ball,
swimming and horseshoes.
The' KA's placed first in ping
pong, the Sigma Chi's- in wrest­ling,
and the Phi Delts in basket­ball.
The fraternity scorings in order
are: SAE, 610; KA, 530; SC, 475;
ATO, 462.5; LCA, 445; AP, 440;
PKA, 415; PDT, 405; TC, 362.5;
SPE, 350; OTS, 345; AGR, 330; SN,
320; PKT, 295; PKP, 285; SP, 275;
KS, 270; DSP, 257.5; TKE, 240;
TEP, 25.
Student Commerce Club
To Organize Tuesday
A Commerce Club will be orga­nized
Tuesday, April 5 to 7:30 p.m.
in room 222 of the new building by
students regularly enrolled or ma­joring
in business administration,
economics, secretarial training or
sociology.
' A club constitution has been ap­proved
by the Council of Deans.
Club officers are to be elected
at the meeting. The students elec­ted
as president and vice-president
must have junior or senior stand­ing.
Any club member may be
elected to the offices of recording
secretary, corresponding secretary,
treasurer and historian.
Betty Ann Overton
Wins Sphinx Award
The Sphinx Sophomore Scholar­ship
award this year was won by
Betty Ann Overton of Montgo­mery.
A major- in elementary edu^-
cation, she.has maintained a 3.73
oVerall average.
The traditional engraved silver
bracelet was presented to Miss
Overton by Lorene Owens, presi­dent
of Sphinx. The award was
made March 10 at the Social Cen­ter
with the other members of the
senior women's honor society pre­sent.
Miss Overton is a member of
Alpha Delta Pi sorority, a past
member of Oracles, and is a mem­ber
of Owls.
John Cates Elected
President Of Ag Club
John Cates of Columbia was r e ­cently
elected president of the Ag­ricultural
Club for the spring
quarter. Other officers elected at
the same time were:
Vice-president, Lysle McNeal of
Hartford; secretary, Joe Vinyard
of Albertville; treasurer, James
McLean of Clio; reporter, Gene
Lauderdale of Bear Creek; moni­tor,
Dan Baker of Birmingham;
and representative to the Ag
Council, Hilmar Jones of Chicka­saw.
FOR RENT: Two small furn­ished
apartments in Waverly,
Ala. Rent for $17.50 a month. If
interested call the Housing Of­fice
in Samford Hall.
Candidates!
General elections for all class
officers and executive cabinet
positions will be held April 21.
Petitions of candidates who
wish to run in these elections
must be presented to Tim Mil­ler
at the Alpha Psi Fraternity
house not later than noon April
6.
FOR SALE: House with two
apartments, t h r e e basement
rooms and three baths, located
at 251 Payne Street. Phone 970.
LOST: One . gold and silver
cuff link. Finder please contact
Eddie Silber at Phi Kappa Tau
house. Phone 245.
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THURSDAY & FRIDAY
MARCH 31-APRIL 1 -
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SATURDAY APRIL 2
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NO. 1
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Cartoon—Wooden Indian
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\
7—THE PLAINSMAN Thursday, March 31, 1949
Tiger Track Team
Opens Dual Season
In Meet Saturday
The Auburn track team opens its
1949 dual season in Clifford Hare
Stadium this Saturday when it
meets the Mississippi State traek
team in a Southeastern Conference
meet. Auburn scored a decisive
triumph over the Staters in the
1948 opener but State has improv­ed
considerably since last season.
The Tiger trackmen have al­ready
had a taste of competition
this year, twelve of them compet­ing
in the Florida Relays l a st
week end in Gainesville, Fla. In
this meet the Auburn team failed
to look too impressive, placing
third in four events. John Brni-lovich
was third in the javelin, j
Joe Pennington third in the 110
high hurdles, Jimmy Walker third
in the 100 yard dash, and t he
sprint medley team was third in
its event.
There are a number of last years
performers returning for competi­tion
this season on the Auburn
team. Returning are Captain Joe
Pennington, Alternate Captain Bill
Payne, "Whitey" Overton, Jimmy
Walker, Jack DeMedicus, Dickie
Flournoy, Jim Ryckely, John
Brnilovich, J i m m y Steele,
Chauncey Wood, and Cafl Mor-rissett.
'•
Newcomers to the team are Bill
Davis in the sprints, Jimmy Mit­chell
and Jim Beasley in the 440
and 880, Don Wodrich in the hur­dles,
and Felton Luck in the dis­cus
and shot events.
Applicants!
The publication board has
announced that those interest­ed
in qualifying for the posts of
editor arid business manager of
the PLAINSMAN must sub­mit
their qualifications lo the
board not later than noon April
1.
Candidates!
Candidates for the offices of
manager and editor of the Glo­merala
who wish to publish
their platforms in the Plairis-man
must submit their plat­forms
to the Plainsman office'
not later than Saturday noon,
April 2. Platforms being sub­mitted
later than that hour
will riot be published.
Four Students Pledged
By Sigma Pi Fraternity
Four students were recently
pledged for membership in the
Alpha Delta chapter of Sigma Pi
fraternity. They are: ^
Ben F. Mackey, Little Rock,
Ark.; Harry F. Ryan, Jr., Mobile;
Clifford L. Stephenson, Dothan;
and Charles Stringfellow, Green­field.
LOST: Brown alligator bill­fold
containing driver's'license,
important papers, two dollars
(finder may keep). Call Laura
Roberts, Alumni Hall.
FOR SALE: Mead Scooter
with large compartment. Good
condition. Call 174.
AUBURN
DELIVERY SERVICE
Haul Household Goods, Boxes, Trunks
and Furniture
HENRY R. HUDSON — 764-W
132 N. Ross
Nine Faculty Members
Get Articles Published
Nine members of Auburn's fa­culty
have research results pub­lished
in the "Proceedings of the
Auburn Conference on Statistics
Applied to Research in the Social
Sciences, Plant Sciences, and Ani­mal
Sciences."
The faculty members are Prof.
George W. Snedecor, visiting re­search
professor of statistics,
Spring Quarter, 1948; Dr. T. A.
Bancroft, statistics; Prof. L. M.
Ware, horticulture; Dr. A. L.
Smith, agronomy; Dr. S. A. Ed­gar,
poultry; Dr. J. H. Johnson,
sociology; Prof. J. H. Blaekstone-,
agricultural economics; Prof. Clif­ton
B. Cox, agricultural econo­mics;
and W. A. Johnson, horti­culture.
The publication has just
been released by the Statistical
Laboratory of the Alabama Poly­technic
Institute.
Requests for copies'of the pub­lication
have been received from
land-grant colleges and universi­ties,
agricultural experiment sta­tions,
private research agencies,
and individual research workers
all over the United States. A
number o f requests have also
been received from foreign coun­tries.
Block and Bridle Club
Get Articles Published
- The Auburn Block and Bridle
Club will sponsor a horse show
here May 8.
From 9 to 13 classes of the best
horses from Alabama and adjoin­ing
states are scheduled for ap­pearance
in the event which will
be held on the gymnasium
grounds on the Opelika road.
James P. Morgan, vice-president
of the club, has arranged for the
showing of Tennessee walking
horses, three-gaited horses, five
gaited horses, pleasure and light
harness horses, and a class of
ponies with child riders.
The Block and Bridle Club is a
national organization for animal
husbandry. The Auburn club was
organized in 1929, but was in­active
from 1938 until 1948.
Six Men Qualified
For Glom Offices
The /publications board has
qualified two men for editor and
four men for business manager of
the 1950 Glomerala.
Those qualifying for editor are:
Harry Goleman, Mobile, junior
in architecture; and Nick Pappas,
Mobile, senior in architecture.
Those qualifying for business
manager of the Glomerala are:
Louie Holloway, Birmingham,
junior in civil engineering; Jim­my
Floyd, Auburn, senior pre-medicine;
Dick Hutchinson, Jack­sonville,
junior in industrial man­agement;
a n d ^ im Haygood, jun­ior
in mechanical engineering
from Montgomery.
The election will be held next
month.
Coach Umbach Elected
Secretary of AWCOA
Coach Arnold Umbach, Au­burn
wrestling coach, was elect­ed
Membership Secretary of the
American Wrestling Coaches and
Officials Association last week at
Fort Collins, Colorado. • j
The business meeting of the As­sociation
preceded the opening
session of the National Collegiate
Athletic Association • Wrestling
Tournament which was won by
Oklahoma A. & M. College for the
sixteenth consecutive year.
Auburn's only entry in the
tournament, Phil Smith, advan­ced
to the quarter-finals in the
165 pound bracket before being
eliminated.
Pi Kappa Phi Initiates
Six men were initiated recent­ly
into the Alpha Iota chapter
of Pi Kappa Phi fraternity. They
Open House Is Held
By Sigma Chi Frat
Sigma Chi fraternity opened
the Spring quarter social activi­ties
with an open house from four
to seven Wednesday afternoon,
are William T. Brown, Mobile;
Martin K. Cochran, Albertville;
William F. Ford, Jasper; Thomas
W. Fuller, Perryville; Fred B.
Hallmark, Jr., Birmingham, and
Gregg A.' Mitchell, Riverside,
Califprriia'. ,
C A M P U S C A P E R 5 vfrv w*a JOHNNY ViaeCTS MELVIN TOVVAGD A
ViTHYZAMeiC TfclUMPH/
THATS MEL, THE CLASS
POET—IN OHe OF
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you owe IT TO YOUR.
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Use These Words with Tongue-in-Cheek!
(Plan le uit on* every wttk!)
ABSQUATULATE (ab-squot-u-lato)-To icrom.
CIGARETTE HANGOVER (don't pronounce It,
but pleas* don't ignore it)—That stale
smoked-out taste, that tight dry feeling in your
threat due to smelting. .
DENOUEMENT (day-noo-ment)-Th. final
Wind-up. -
OITHYRAMBIC (dith.ee-ram-blk)-Etttatic.
IIEUSINIAN (ee-loo-sln-e-an) - from El.u.li,
where Greek orgies took place.
EXPOSTULATE (eks-pos-tew-late) - To r.mon-strait.
,
FRENETIC (fren-ett-llc)-Freniie/
INCONTINENTLY (ln-ton-tln-ent-lee)-Without
control.
MACERATE (mass-er-ate)-Chew up.
PENTAMETRIST (pen-tam-et-rist) - Devotee of
pentameter, a popular poetic meter.
SALUTATORIAN (sal-ute-ah-tor-yan) - One
who pays official tribute.
• A drive to collect used cloth­ing
for European college girls is
being sponsored by Sphinx,
senior women's honorary, and
the Auburn chapter of A.A.U.
W.
Sweaters and skirts and other
wearable clothing are being
sought in the drive which will
continue until April 2. Any per­sons
having clothing to donate
are asked to call " Emaleen
Stoves, president of Sphinx, at
823-R on the Auburn exchange.
* * *
All officers and enlisted men
of the Army ORC who are leav­ing
Auburn after completion of
this school quarter are request­ed
to give forwarding address
to the Auburrt Military Sub-district,
128y2 North College
Street prior to leaving.
PiKA Pledges Elect
New Sphinx Officers
The pledge class of Pi Kappa Al­pha
recently elected of ieers for the
spring quarter. Harry Barnes was
elected president. Other officers
selected are Bill Evans, vice presi­dent;
Harold Eskew, secretary;
Charley Henderson, treasurer;
Tommy Kennedy; social chairman;
and Milton Andrews and Hurdie
Burk, reporters.
Student Debates
Five Auburn students' are repre­senting
Auburn at the National
Tau Kappa Alpha Discussion Con­ference
and Congress at Purdue
University, March 30-April 2. The
Auburn delegates include:'
Kihne R. Sutton, Villa Rica, Ga'.;
Charles G. Reynolds, Fairfax; Jes­se
A. Keller^ Abbeville; George L.
Kelley, Fredericksburg, Va.; Joe
T. Pilcher, Selma.
Tommy Eden Named
Head Cheerleader
Thomas M. Eden, Jr., junior in
ornamental horticulture, has been
appointed head cheerleader at Au­burn
for the 1949 football season.
Eden, a* student from Nashville,
Tenn., succeeds Claude J. Ken-dreck,
of Fort Walton, Fla. He was
cheerleader for three years at West
End High School in Nashville.
Plans are already under way for
the fall pep rallies, Eden says. The
rallies will be highlighted by the
"Wreck-Tech" rally, a rousing pa-jama
parade, a torch light parade,
and a gigantic raTiy before the
game with the University of Ala­bama.
He said the Pep Committee is
considering plans for publishing a
book of songs and yells to be dis­tributed
among the students and
the fans at games so that all may
participate in the yelling and sing­ing.
Pre-game rallies are being
scheduled for Columbus, Ga.; At­lanta,
Ga.; Birmingham; Montgo­mery,
and Mobile. Special concen­tration
will be placed on the rally
for the homecoming game with
Mississippi State in Auburn on No­vember
5.
March 23.
. Assisting Mrs. John R. Peavy,
housemother, as hostess were
Mrs. A. L. Thomas, Mrs. Bruce
Peak, Sr., Mrs. Mabon Pugh, Mrs.
Dock Holloway, Mrs. Kent Van
Cleave, Mrs. Rex Gray, Mrs.
Tea Kingsford, Miss H e l en
Simms, Miss Pratricia Dabney,
and Miss Ursula Tunstall.
f . W. Ingram Appointed
t o Land Grant Post
T. W. Ingram; business mana­ger
of Auburn, has been appoint­ed
as a representative of the
Southern Association of College
and University Business Officers
to work with the Executive Com­mittee
of the Association of Land
Grant Colleges and Universities.
As one of the Southern repre­sentatives,
Mr. Ingram will also
work with the executive commit­tee
of the National Association of
State Universities. The announce­ment
of the appointment was
made by Dr. F. A. Middlebush,
president of the University of
Missouri, and president of the
National Association of State Uni­versities.
Student Is Home Ec
Apprentice For TVA
The first Auburn student to en­ter
the home economic apprentice
program with the Tennessee Val­ley
Authority is Ann Bailey, jun­ior
in home management from
Mobile.
Miss Bailey will report to Jack­son,
Tenn. this week and begin
her apprentice program over the
state of Tennessee. Alternating a
quarter of work and a quarter of
college, Miss Bailey will continue
under the program Until she is
graduated from Auburn in 1950,
Dr. Florence Davis, head of the
home management repartment re­ported.
AICHE Convention
Auburn will be the host to more
than 100 delegates representing 17
Southern colleges and universities
at the 1949 Regional Convention of
student chapters of the American
institute of Chemical Engineers
which will be held here April 10-
13.
The program will include a se­ries
of technical papers from stu­dents
of the attending schools.
O L I N L. HILL
'th&Man With the Tape!
THREE SPECIALS
SSSSSHSSI
at
OLIN L. HILL'S
One lot of T-Shirts, $1.50 < $1.95 for .1. $1.00
One lot of Sport Shirts, J ----- $2.95-$4.95
(Buy one, get one extra for $1.00)
One lot men's shorts $1.15 to $1.25 - 79c pair—two pair $1.50
50 Pair of Summer Pants 6.95 to 9.95
Buy one pair — get one pair for $1.00
i
One lot of 65c socks, 3 pair for
One lot of $1.50 ties for
..__._.:. $1.25
$1.00 each
DISCONTINUED SHOE STYLES
$9.95 Shoes for $6.00
Many Other Broken Lots 2 0 - 4 0% Off
DISCONTINUED
$45.00 to $49.50 — Summer all wool tropicals for..... $34.95
Three Big Days to.-M-MARCH
31st — APRIL 1st and 2nd
LIN L HILL
AUBURN, ALABAMA
Seven Year Course Will Be Installed
For All Students In Farmacy School
Dr. Glenn S. Lake, dean of the School of Farmacy at Ala­bama
Polytetanus Institute, today announced plans for the
installation of a seven year course in farmacy here. This step
is in accord with the administration's efforts to maintain the
most progressive school of this type in the nation. Dean Lake
stated that the course will be
divided into three years of pre-farmacy
and four years of far­macy.
. \
The pre-farmacy curriculum
will come under the command of
the School of Blackmagic and
folklore. During the three years
of pre-farmacy, the neophyte will
be initiated in the art of pill-rol*
ling/He will take all the courses
presently offered in the four-year
course plus a large number of
subjects designed to give him a
broad cultural education. Of
course, all students will be ex­pected
to participate in various
extra-curricular activities in their
spare time.
If the candidate maintains a
4.0 average during his three years
of pre-farmacy, he will be con­ditionally
admitted to the School
of Farmacy. The curriculum, re­sulting
from years of intensive re­search,
has been completely re­organized
to eliminate unneces­sary
subjects.
Through co-operation with the
School of Alchemy, a number of
advanced courses in this field
will be offered. The student will
also be required to take three
quarters of nuclear f'ssion. All
students will be allowed an hour
on Sunday to attend church ser­vices.
Doctor Lake stated that he
feels the new seven-year course
will provide all the subjects need­ed
by a retail farmacist. For those
who wish to pursue other branch­es
of the field, graduate courses
will be provided.
The staff of the school has been
greatly enlarged. Among the new
instructors . is Prof. E. Mulsion
from Lower Slumvolvia, who will
lecture in his native tongue. A
textbook for use in one of the
new courses-has been completed
by Prof. George W. Margreaves.
It is entitled "A Theortical Course
in Micro-Quantitive Analysis of
Organic Salts of the Rare Earth
Metals with Laboratory Experi­ments."
Letters ot congratulations from
farmacists all over the nation
are pouring into Dean Lake's of­fice.
In- an exclusive interview
with a Plainsman reporter, Char­les
A. Walton, president of the
student branch of the American
Farmaceutical Association, stated
that the farmacy students feel
that this is the biggest thing that
ever happened to them.
LOST: Small vault contain­ing
$10,000 in five and ten
dollar denominations. Finder
call Dunk Right at the First
National Bank from 8 a.m. un­til
12 noon. Reward offered.
FOR SALE: Slightly used
fraternity pins. Any and all
types. See or call Fragrant Ma­nure
at 9142.
SHOP-LIFT AT
HARE'S JEWELRY STORE
Get this new 12 carrot glass ring for your gal.
Put the ring on her finger and you will be sur­prised
what you can do.
These rings are guaranteed not to turn your
whole arm green. Highest garde of brass is used.
Send the sets from two rings to the Post's
Tastie Company for one free box of corn fla,kes.
Dance To Be Presented At Y Hut
From 9 to 12 P. M. On April 31
Nasal Nelson And His Nine Nasty Nose-Pickers signed a
contract to play at the Outerfraternity Kounsil dance this
quarter, according to a statement from John Jinnings, twenty-third'
president of vise of the Outerfraternity Kounsil. The
dance will be held in the Y Hut from 9 until 12 p.m. on
April 31.
Jinnings stated that the dance
will be' opened to all students,
and that religious beliefs and af­filiations
will keep no one away.
Tickets will go on sale at 8:45
p.m. on the night of the dance
and those interested may pur­chase
their tickets at Gunn's three
miles out of Montgomery on the
Alabama Polytetanus Institute
highway. The price of tickets for
stags will be $99.99 and for those
bringing dates $99.98.
After several dSys of heckling,
at the recommendation of Raffle
B. Drone, president of the Ala­bama
Polytetanus Institute and
Petrillo's right handed hench-
Dr. Glenn S. Lake
Dean Slugs, Weternary School, Promises
That Girl Students Will Get More Meat
After an ultimatum was delivered last week by the dining
hall officials of the Alabama Polytetanus Institute which
stated in part that the dining hall students of the Alabama
Polytetanus Institute are suffering from fallen arches and
drape shapes because of insufficient-protein in the diet, Wet
Hill has promised to increase its
supply of meat to the dining halls.
Dean Slugs has Been quick to
begin work toward the solution of
the problem. Dr. Summers, a
world-famed authority on the sub­ject
of dead and degenerating
meat, has been placed at the head
of the investigating committee to
look into the matter.
At present the meat comes from
two sources, namely, the dead
house, and the post-mortem room,
from w h e n c e it is dragged by
hand to the back entrances of the
various dining halls. This dragging
by hand has in the light of pres­ent
day knowledge been consider­ed
rather unsanitary and is frown­ed
upon by the city health de­partment.
In the future all meat
will be transported by wheel bar­row.
' Only last week a coed found
one of her garters in some beef
stew which must have been pick­ed
up during the drag through
the stadium from the dead house
to the dining halls. / ,
THIEF'S
Coal Oil Service Station
&
Thief's U-Pay-For-lt
PHONE: MURRAY HILL 96321
THIEF'S
IS PROUD
TO SALUTE
Tundra
Spawn
Low Brow Of
The Week At
Auburn
WHERE THE AUBURN STUDENTS BLEED
A member of Chart­reuse
Key and O Gee
Kay, Tandra is realty
popular around the
campus. He's loads of
fun because he's so
jolly and gay.
In the past only larger animals,
such as the horse and cow, have
been used, but due to the severi­ty
of the present crisis it seems
necessary to add the dog and cat
as a further source of supply.
When questioned, D e a n . Slugs
stated, "We realize the sentimental
feelings attached to these animals,
but we promise that in so far as
possible, no dog or cat belongirig
to an Alabama Polytetanus Insti­tute
student or harbored by the
same will be used for food pur­poses."
This proposal also had the
approval of Dr. Summers.
No meat will be stored for more
than six months before delivery.
Dr. Npland D. Boner, chief lac-teriologist,
has stated that he will
take the responsibility to see that
the meat does not contain more
than 5,000,00(1,000 germs per cu­bic
micron.
This new plan will go into ef­fect
next week, so very soon the
dining hall students of the Ala­bama
Polytetanus Institute should
not only receive more meat, but
the meat served should be more
palpatable, sanitary, and nourish­ing,
according to Miss I. B. Bones,
head of the college dining halls.
man, The Outerfraternity Koun­sil
signed the famous Nelson
group. Nelson signed the contract
and m a i l e d it from Slippery
Floor, Africa, where he is cur­rently
appearing at the Slip and
Slide Ballroom.
It was announced in Chi Cago
Tuesday that Philthy Magnasty,
university star of radio, stage,
and screen, will join the Nelson
Orchestra. Magnesty, .is known
throughout the entertainment
world as the greatest crooner in
the business today, being head and
shoulders above Slinky Swoonatra,
Slinky's brother Not Sohotra, and
Bang Crosley.
Philthy g a i n e d fame three
years ago for his torch singing
version of "I'll Get You Yet You
B o o g e r You" and the boogie
woogie version of the same song
called "Dig That Booger." He has
sung both versions in night clubs
and theaters from coast to coast
and has never failed to get at
least two curtain calls.
The committee m charge of ar­rangements
for the dance has
stated that the Y Hut will easily
handle the students who wish to
attend the dance. However, to be
sure that everyone interested
may see and hear this universal­ly
famous group, the Alabama
Polytetanus Institute's concert
and lecture committee has made
arrangements for the Orchestra to
appear on a program in the men's
locker room at Slumni Gim at 6
p.m., April 32.
Students will be paid 25 cents
to attend. Faculty members and
townspeople may purchase tick­ets
from T. C. Shark, director in
theif of students affairs (foreign
and domestic) at his office in
Samferd Hall.
(Continued from page 1)
the Engineering School, stated
that the plan was perfect. He
praised Mercy Stall for her work
in formulating the plan. He also
said that if this plan had gone
into effect a year ago, his son
would have been able to gradu­ate
last quarter instead of this
one, because he could have spent
more time on his theses instead
of standing in line.
When asked to comment, Dean
Babylon Thud, said, "I'm against
it. We don't want any radical
changes here. Think of the Aw-burn
tradition. Why change?"
However, Dean Hunches overrode
Thud's statement. Hunches said
that since the extended service
favored the plan, the Ag School
would do the same.
"Mildness counts with me,
and Chesterfields are
MILDER -MUCH MILDER."
yf{ STARRING IN
"KISS IN THE DARK"
A WARNER BROS. PRODUCTION
ITS SMOKE CHESTERFIELDS THAN ANY OTHER CIGARETTt . . , BY LATEST RATIONAL SI
' Copyright 1949, LIGGETT & Mycu TOMGBO CO