1924-11-26 The Plainsman

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uinsnuui
R THE AUBURN SPIRIT
Vol. XXVIII AUBURN, ALABAMA, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1924. No. 12
SECOND FRIEND­SHIP
COUNCIL
DINNER HELD FRIDAY
BURGOYNE AND HERRON
REPORT ON INSTITUTE
HELD AT M.S.C.W.
Plans For Future
Work Discussed
The second meeting of the entire
Friendship Council was held at the
Auburn Tea Room last Friday even­ing.
The council is the main work­ing
force for the Y. M. C. A. on the
campus. The entire body if endea­voring
to make the friendship at Au­burn
something worth while.
The meeting was opened with a
prayer by Rev. Holmes, of the Bap­tist
church. A real appetizing din­ner
was then served, putting the
council in a deceptive mood for the
business to follow. Mr. Turk, pres­ident
of the council, acted as toast-master.
Two vocal selections were ren­dered
by Mr. Tyler accompanied by
Mr. Wood on the piano. The work
for the next few days was then p'ut
before the council, this work being
the All College Hike. Mr. Ran­dolph,
chairman of the committee
in eharge of the hike., gave a brief
outline of the past hikes.' He stat­ed
that the success of the preceding
hikes has almost made it a tradi­tion
at Auburn. Committees were
appointed to see that nothing is
overlooked in the effort to make
the hike this year bigger and better
than. ever.
Reports were next made on The
Bible Discussion Group Institute at
M. S. C. W. led by Dr. Bruce Currie.
Messrs B'urgoyne and Herron were
sent to this conference as represen­tatives
of the Auburn "Y". Both
gave reports in such a manner that
the council could not fail to get
some real good out of them. Among
the points mentioned by them were:
first, the fact that we use our Bible
more for foot notes than for real
facts. We have the habit of taking
what our fore-fathers and the min­isters
say as facts without using the
Bible. In reality we should take
each problem confronting us to the
Bible -to see if it can live in this
light. If it does not, then there is
something crooked about the prob­lem.
The mere handing down of in­formation
from one generation to
the other no doubt causes some
changes, so to be able to be sure
we are right we must go direct to
the source and that is our Bible.
In putting over a problem it should
be taken in the proper steps, first,
finding what the problem, is; sec­ond,
what is meant by it; third, th.;
solution; fourth, deciding whether
it will work, and fifth, putting ii
over in the proper manner.
Mr. Burgoyne and Mr. Herroa
told of the reputation Auburn has
at this college and stated that they
were received in grand style and
given every comfort desirable.
Mr. Hodges next reported that
Mr. Schwekendiek's discussioi
group was leading in the contest
put on by this committee. He also
•aid that discussion groups were
fait gaining in popularity, at the
present reaching over three hiiii-dred
students.
The Friendship Council man is
Supposed to be one to set the b°£*
examples on the campus, and M/
Glenn explained how this could bt-done,
praising the stand the cou.i-
College is Host to
Delegates Baptist
Woman's Mission­ary
Convention
, Four hundred women delegates
at the convention of the Woman's
Missionary Union held in Opelika
this past week were guests of the
college last Friday afternoon. The
conference adjourned at noon and
the women were brought to Auburn
in cars by the Opelika Kiwanians. ,
Immediately following the arriv­al
of the delegates, a specfaireview
by the R. 0. T. C. was given in
their honor. The president, Mrs.
W. H. Samford, of Montgomery
and other officers of the W. M. U.
were in the reviewing-line.
The review was followed by a
barbecue luncheon at the Student's
Club, after which the women were
shown over the campus und3<- the
direction of Miss Zoe Dobbs anddha
women students. The barbecue was
in charge of Dr. I. S. MoAdory and
Mr. Emmett Sizemore.
B.Y.P.U. Training School
The Auburn B. Y. P. U. will be­gin
a training school on December
the first. The meetings will be
held at the Baptist Church, begin­ning,
each night at five and ending
at seven. During the' course four
books will be studied.
The lecturers will be Mr. L. H.
Tapscott and Mr. and Mrs. J. E.
Lambdin. Mr. Tapscott is well
known to the Auburn students as
he was a member of the graduating
class of last year. He held the po­sition
of President of the Y. M. C.
A. and other important offices
while at Auburn. Everyone will be
glad to have "Tap" back with us
for a while. He is now holding
the position of B. Y. P. U. State
Field Worker with headquarters in
Montgomery.
Dinner will be served at the
church each evening during the
conference. About one hundred
students have already registered for
this training. All Baptist and oth­er
students interested are invited
to attend.
In preparation for the conference
Mr. Schahbay, missionary to Per­sia,
will speak next Sunday night
at 7:30 P. M.,
Union Meeting to be Held]
A union meeting of the B. Y. P.
U., Epworth League, and Christian
Endeavor Society will be held in
the church auditorium of the Bap­tist
Church on next Sunday night.
Mr. and Mrs. J. E. Lambdin, state
B. Y. P. U. workers, will be the
speakers of the occasion. The meet­ing
will begin at 6:30.
Everybody is invited.
cil has taken in supporting student
council and other organizations
about the college.
Another Go to Church Sunday
was planned for the near future.
Rev. Holmes and Ossman, of the lo­cal
churches, expressed their appre­ciation
of the effort put forth by
the council in causing larger church
attendance They also stated that
ministers were here for the purpose
of aiding the students and encourag­ing
them to attend services more
often, saying that the Friendship
Council could act as a nucleus for
such a movement.
The meetiri '•"s adjourned with
prayer by Mr. Hale.
INTERESTING TALK
ON AFRICA HEARD
AT CONVOCATION
Re.v. W. H. C a r s o n of
Nigeria, West Africa
Visits Auburn
An interesting talk on "Africa"
was made by Rev. W. H. Carson,
of Nigeria, West Africa, missionary
representing the Southern Baptist
church at convocation for •upper-classmen
last Thursday.
Mr. Carson described the trip to
Nigeria and ones feelings when
they arrived there. From hi3
home in Alabama to Nigeria he has
to cover 9,200 miles. London, Liv­erpool,
New York and various other
cities of importance are on the
itinerary.
"The African people are rapidly
taking advantage of the opportuni­ties
offered them by the British gov­ernment
and missionarises sent into
their country and are becoming o?
mare importance among the nations
of the world. Mr. Carson said, "oie
may have an idea that when he goes
to West Africa there will be canni­bals
and like things that have been
promiscously spread over the world,
but this is not so. However, in the
interior there may be some"" 'wnb
have not reached the stage of de­velopment
that their coast brothers
have. We have been unable to "ind
any such case."
"A great many people say they
sympathize with missionaries who
go to foreign countries, • but, si'd
the speaker, "in our back yard may
be found the most luscious bananas
found anywhere; quails three times
the size of those found in America,
deer, and all kinds of fruits grow
in abundance."
In conclusion Mr. Carson told of
fhe crying need of the Africans. Not
that there is greater need for funds
but teachers and missionaries are
needed there. They need some one
to teach them things that will be of
use both economically and spiritual­ly
and are eager to grasp the oppor­tunity
offered them.
Dramatic Club Going Good
The Auburn Players are round­ing
the play of "David Garrick" in­to
shape for presentation in great
form. Mr. Jones is already stut-st-st-
stuttering his part in fine style.
Mrs. Smith, mother of seventy
children, enters lively into the dis­cussion.
David Garrick, a man of
art culture and a man that will
stand by his word, makes a hero
that we all admire. Ada Ingot, a
great lover of Shakespeare, makes
an ideal heroine. In fact the whole
cast -will soon be able to show the
student body how well the play of
David Garrick can be presented.
A. I. E. E.
The regular weekly meeting of
the Auburn Branch of the A. I. E.
E., to be held last Wednesday
night, was called off for several
reasons, but will meet as usual at
7:00 P. M. Wednesday, November
26. Mr. J. C. Bailey, an old mem­ber
of the Class of '22, will be a
visitor on the occasion and will
probably have something very in­teresting
to talk about.
"Board for
Atlanta
When the "WRECK TECH
SPECIAL" rolls into Atlanta at
11:00 A. M. Thursday morn­ing,
there will immediately be
staged a parade of such quali­ty
and proportions, that Tech
is going to realize that we
really intend to wreck 'em.
The parade will probably wind
up at the Ansley, giving plenty
of time to eat and get to Grant
Field by 2 P. M. Let's be in
there fightin' 'em off and give
them a slight sample of what
they will see after the game
and Thursday night.
—WRECK TECH!—
Wreck Tech
If Southern had ripped our line to
shreds
And beat us 40 to 3
And Clemson Tiger had smashed
our ends
And won a victory.
If V. P. I. had run hog wild
And made our boys see red,
And even old Howard come along
And made us look like "Ned."
If L. S. U. had cleaned us up
And we failed to gain an inch,
And Yandy had licked us fifty
points
And then they had a cinch
If Tulane had even trounced us
more
And fixed us so we couldn't score,
And if Georgia came and sprung
the feat
Of turning our game into a track
meet,
It would hurt but little, if we could
WRECK,
By a one point masgin, old Georgia
* Tech.
I'd give this old yell and say it
with steam,
We've had a whale of a year, and
a darned good team.
—Unonimous.
Women's Student
Government Joins
Intercollegiate
Association
\ —
The Auburn Women's Student
Government has been enrolled as a
member of the Southern Intercol­legiate
Association of Student Gov­ernment,
according to information
just received by Miss Zoe Dobbs.
Admission into the association is
notable, chiefly on account of the
fact that Women's Student Govern­ment
at Auburn was organized un­der
the direction of Miss Zoe Dobbs
in September, 1922.
Speaking of the government, Miss
Dobbs says: "The machinery of the
organization moves without friction
and the independence and leadership
developed within the body entitles
it to the right of existence as a
unit in the Auburn life."
The membership in the local as­sociation
comprises the entire wo­men's
student body. The govern­ing
is carried on entirely by the
students themselves, the six officer*
composing the executive council.
The officers are: President, Eliza-bets
Ceilings, of Moultrie, Ga.; 1st
vice-president, or town representa­tive,
Lysbeth Fullan, of Auburn, Al­abama;
second vice-president, or
house president, Leila Jordan, of
Eclectic, Ala.; secretary, or junior
representative, Alma Bentley, of
West Point, Ga.; treasurer, or soph­omore
representative, Alberta Proc­tor,
of Scottsboro, Ala. The fresh­man
representative is yet to b?
elected.
UJAk"" Club Dance
LIKES THE PLAINSMAN
The Plainsman recently received
a letter from Joe Hare, a former
Auburn student who is now in
Denver, Col. Joe was at one time
cheer leader in Auburn and achiev­ed
much fame as such. He is an
Auburn man full of the Auburn
Spirit. We quote a part of his
letter:
Brethren:
May I take this opportunity to
congratulate you and Auburn on
the excellent paper being publish­ed
this year. I thoroughly enjoy
every copy I receive.
Am feeling fine and improving
every day so that I expect to be at
work before next football season.
If Auburn WRECKS TECH I'll go to
work December the first.
Sincerely,
Joe Hare, '21.
YE SR. 'LEC. AND MAG.
"It has been thought that only
hemi-morphic chrystals exhibit py-ro-
electric properties, but accord­ing
to Hankel, hemi-morphism is
not indispensable to the production
of pyro-electricity, and it is ex­hibited
by other chrystals provided
their chrystallographic axes are
unequal; but, in the case of chrys­tals
having equal axes, only those
which are hemi-mornhic are pyro
electric'
mqrnhi w
On Saturday night at the Alumni
Gymnasium the "A" Club gave one
of its regular dances. The music
was put forth by the famous mus­icians
known as "Tomraie Jones'
Orchestra" a six piece assemblage.
Although, the dance was not well
attended, a select crowd was on
hand for the festivity; a larger num­ber
of Co-Eds. were out for the
dance than ever before. Those
who attended were rewarded with
good music and the Terpsichorean
efforts were very much enjoyed.
It is hoped that the next dance will
be a little better patronized, the
size of the crowd was cut down
considerably by the proximity of
the Tech game.
K. D. Pledges Entertain
On Friday, November 21st, the
Kappa Delta pledges, Dot Taylor,
Catherine Hare, Mary Jim Del-bridge,
and Charline Baughman,
were hostesses at a dance given to
the Kappa Deltas at the home of
Dorothy Duggar. The house was
artistically decorated with pen­nants
and streamers of green and
white paper. Delicious punch was
served throughout the evening. The
Toreador Orchestra, which fur­nished
excellent music from nine
to twelve, is Auburn's most recent
discovery in the music circle.
ANNUAL ALL-COL­LEGE
HIKE TO BE
HELD DEC. SIXTH
Plenty to Eat ami Fire­works
Promised by
Committee
Band Will be There
On Saturday, December 6, will
be held the annual All-College Hike.
This hike is fostered and financed
by the Y. M. C. A. and is given each
year for the students and the fac­ulty
of Auburn. It is one of the
biggest events of the year, and is a
time when all such unpleasant
things as quizzes, fours, etc., are
forgotten by all and when all
thoughts are turned to nothing
more serious than playing, eating,
and having a good time in general.
The band will be out, and be­hind
them, will sojourn the rest of
the college, to a place about
a mile out where the stage
will be set for a grand and
glorious good time. The time of
departure will be two o'clock, and
anyone coming later than that may
have trouble in finding (he place of
the big eats, since there will be n
one left in the village to tell him
which way they went.
On the afternoon's program will
be boxing, volley ball, indoor base­ball
played outdoors, tug-o'-war
across the creek, and numerous
other games and contests between
the classes. After that, plenty of
good eats and lastly, the fireworks.
Talk it up and watch for other in­formation.
Pertinent Paragraphs
One cook in the kitchen is worth
a dozen in the intelligence office.
A woman always remembers the
things she should forget.
True friends are those who listen
to your talk when you don't say
anything. *
And many a man seems to have
a clear head because there is abso­lutely
nothing in it.
Only four letters have ever bee.
in Jail, but there are a dozen in the
alphabet that are in the penitenti­ary.
Many girls prefer a man with a
future rather than a past, but the
majority also expect a few presents.
Statistics show that it is easier
to get out of the matrimonial har­ness
than it is to keep out.
Fond Father: "What are you go­ing
to do for a living?"
Son: "Write."
P. Father: "Write what?"
Son: "Home."—Green Gander.
Many a dark secret never comes
to light.
I sent my son to college
To learn what he did lack.
I spent five thousand dollars
And got a quarter back.
Ob, Mr. Turk
Mused one of our modest lieuten­ants,
"Um-m, sort o' cold this eve­ning,"
so he reached over and put
on his Sam Brown.
A
nap
<% pkrasmatt
Published weekly by the Students of the Alabama Polytechnic
Institute, Auburn, Ala.
FACULTY WHO'S WHO
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . - - • • • — • » » • • ••)<•« • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • A
DR. RUPERT TAYLOR
Subscription rates—$2.00 per year
(32 issues)
Entered as second-class matter at Post Office, Auburn, Ala.
STAFF
W. B. Glenn Editor-in-Chief
W. A. Young .BusinessManager
Editorial Staff
- D - J , Managing Editor
R! A! B*U :::::::::::::::::: »- * j **
W. D. Horton - —- *»>« ™**r
A. E. Duran BuUetin Board Editor
Emily Hare ~"""~^""~"- - <*** E d i t or
Dryde. Baughman - *"**»** ™*>r
Grace Gardner Facu»y ™">* m ° E d l t or
W. D. McLaren Kampus Kickoff. Editor
H. F. Schwekendiek AcUvity Editor
E. F. Williams Alumni E("t or
_ _ : Art Editor
C Pearson w- *"
Business Staff.
J. F. Thompson *"*• B u s i n e M M a n a g er
C. D. Ebersole - Advertising Manager
. __ # Circulation Manager
i. lira! _ . . . . . - - . - - - - - - - - — - - - - - - -
C. B. Burgoyne *»*• Circulation Manager
Georgia ThomRaEs PORTERS
Alberta Proctor
B. W. Creel
M. E. Josey
S. W. Harbin
B. F. Kurt*
C. D. Greentree
Mildred Cheshire
Dorothy Duggar
L. T. Agee
W. E. Hooper
W. C. Wall
S. H. Lynne, Sports Reporter
All contributions to THE PLAINSMAN must be mailed or handed
in to the Plainsman office by not later than Tuesday night of each
week. Articles must be double spaced typewritten. Clubs and socie­ties
that meet on Tuesday night may make special arrangements for
their articles. The office is in room 4 under Langdon Hah.
Some climb high on the ladder
of success while others are con­tent
to remain on the lower rungs.
To the former class and not to the
latter class, belongs Dr. Rupert Tay­lor,
dean of - the Academic Fac­ulty.
He is not only one of the
newest members of the executive
staff, but also probably the young­est.
He is a native of Arkansas and
received a large portion of his ed­ucation
there, receiving his B. S.
Degree from the University of Ar­kansas
in 1903 and his M .S. de­gree
from the same institution in
1906. Between the years, 1903-
1905, he was principal of the high
school at Texarkana, Texas. From
1905-1907 his main occupation was
teaching Greek. Such is the ver-sality
of the man!
Dr. Taylor's more highly spec­ialized
training was received at
Columbia University, that great
school for teachers. (At least that's
what they all say!) This work was
done, part study and part teaching
during the years, 1907-1917. In
1911, the degree of Ph. D. was con­ferred
upon him.
Dean Taylor is probably one
of the few members of the faculty,
especially of those "higher up,"
who saw service during the late
war. In May, 1917, he took a leave
of absence for national service
from Columbia and went into the
first Officer's Training Camp at Ft.
Root, Arkansas where he was com­missioned
first lieutenant. He was
then placed oft duty with the 87th
Division at Camp Pike and remain­ed
there until transferred to the
office of Military Attache at Rome,
Italy, in May, 1918. While there
he received the tittle of Cavaliere
delli' Ordine della corona d'ltalina,
which is in plain English,
On his return to this country he
went back to Columbia and remain-there
until he came to Auburn in
1921. Since then he has become a
true Auburnite in mind, heart and
spirit. This fact is easily proved
by the following conversation over­heard
on the campus a few days
ago.
First student, "Just been to see
Rupert."
Second Students, "Well, did he
give you the same old line of sound
advice?"
First Student, "Yes, but it was
different. He treats you as though
you might be a human being and
not merely a student. Somehow he
seems to like to talk to you. Do you
know, I believe hell talk about
anything. Drop into his office
sometime and see if he won't make
you like to talk to him."
Does that, or does that not show
that he has the friendliness of the
Auburn Spirit?
THANKSGIVING
Somehow the first thing that most of us think of when Thanks­giving
is mentioned is Wreck Tech. Well, this is something to
think about but let's not let this in any way take away any of the
sacredness of this day. It is sacred in that it is the day in the year
that we should stop and give thanks to God for His blessings. We
are blessed with so many things that we sometimes forget to give
thanks for our very being. As Thanksgiving approaches, let us
think of the great blessings that have been ours during the past year.
Our great nation Is still the land of the free and the home of
the brave. We have national troubles but America still stands as
the greatest of all nations. We have a great institution to be thank­ful
for. Auburn is making progress as it has never made before. The
spirit of the whole institution has been of the highest type. All these
things we have to be thankful for.
As we celebrate on Turkey Day let us recall as many of our
blessings as we can and sincerely be thankful for them and resolve
in our hearts to do more for our God, our nation, our homes, our
Alma Mater and our friends.
j THE BULLETIN BOARD j
! -- ••••••••••« - . . . . . • -
Be thankul for the many things that could have happened to you
but didn't.
THE TIGEH ON THE TANK
For several years past, on the side of the tank towards the de­pot,
there has been an Orange and Blue painting of a tiger sprawled
over a large "A." The painting presented a very pleasing spectacle
and was one which was a source of pride of every Auburn man
whose glance fell upon it, however often. It was an object of ad­miration
of many a passenger on passing trains. Last summer when
the tank received its decennial coat of paint, the picture was covered
up We would like to see it replaced. Wouldn't you? We know that
Auburn has some very talented wielders of the brush and by pitch­ing
in a few cents each, the replacement of this beloved symbol
could be made possible. Do we want it? If so, let's talk it up and
get it.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 26
5:00 P. M. Home Economics Club, "Y. W." Hut.
7:00 P. M. American Institute of Electrical Engineers, Engineering
Auditorium.
Veterinary Medical Association, Vet. Building.
7:30 P. M. Union Thanksgiving Service at the Baptist Church. Mr.
Ossman of the Episcopal Church will lead.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 27
7:30 A. M. "WRECK TECH SPECIAL" leaves Auburn for Atlanta.
2:00 P. M. Tech's Wreck, GrantField, Atlanta. Matinee here? Doubt­ful.
7:30 P. M. Special leaves Terminal Station, Atlanta. Arrives Au­burn
11 P. M.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 28
Students begin to recuperate.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 29
Recuperation continued.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30
9:30 A. M. Sunday School, Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian,
copal.
11:00 A. M. Church Services, Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Epis­copal,
Catholic.
i :30 P. M. Y. M. C. A. Cabinet meeting.
2:0) P. M. Y. W. C. A. Cabinet meeting.
7:30 P. M. Epworth League and Christian Endeavor hold union
meeting with the B. Y. P. U. at the Baptist Church.
7:30 P. M. Church Services at Methodist and Baptist.
Epis-
Football has two evils. One is
the Girl Who Doesn't Know a
Thing About the Game, But Really
I Just Love to Watch It. The other
is the Man Who Played Quarter for
Sarsparilla High School. Separate
sections should most certainly be
reserved for these two complexes.
They are not fit to associate with
the common herd who can differ­entiate
between an end run and an
off tackle play but who can never
remember whether it was the de­fensive
half or the roving center
that took out the interference. When
you are placed next to the first
form of cerebral density, you spend
sixty minutes explaining what the
men in white knickers are for and
why they wear white knickers.
Which is no way to enjoy a foot­ball
game. When you make the
mistake of sitting beside the second
infliction, you hear in great detail
how they could have made three
yards more if the right end had
run two feet farther to the left.
Which rather puts the damper on
your hearty cheering for the ten
yard gain. If we can't refuse these
people seats, let's segregate them.
We have both kinds.
0 —Cornell Daily Sun.
It appears from the returns that
over 250,000 Iowa Republicans
were so displeased with the attitude
of Senator Brookhart of that state,
in accepting renomination at the
hands of the Republican party and
then turning about and supporting
LaFollette and Wheeler, that they
voted for the Democratic candidate
for the senatorship instead. Cool-idge
and Dawes received a plurali­ty
of over 257,000 votes in Iowa,
while Brookhart was elected by a
bare plurality, of only a few hun­dred
votes.
—American Economist.
It's all right to pick a chicken,
but leave the neck alone.
—The Davidsonian.
Picture Show Program
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28
6:30 P. M.—Pathe News No. 84.
6:40 P. M<—"LITTLE ROBINSON
CRUSOE," Metro Picture. Star,
Jackie Coogan.
A dramatic comedy dealing with
a modern Robinson Crusoe of
tender years who sails forth,
lands on a desert island when
his ship is wrecked, becomes
a power among the savages
and then saves a colony of white
folks from destruction by the can­nibals.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 28
7:00 P. M. to 9:00 P. M.
"Stay Single," Comedy.
"THE BANDOLERO," Metro Pic­ture.
With Pedro de Cordoba,
Renee Adoree.
The story is one of revenge and
hate between the Bandolero and a
high official of Spain. A little un­willingly
they are forced to bury
the hatchet when they discover that
nothing they can do will prevent
the course of true love running
smoothly between their children.
It is the first picture of importance
that shows both rural and metro­politan
Spain in all its pictorial
freshness and beauty. The thrilling
scenes in ti^^nUring, coming as
they do to caH feicture with a
climax, the dramatic value of which
is considerably high, are unlike
anything shown on the screen pre­viously.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 29
7:00 P. M. to 9:00 P. M.
One Show Only
"Neck and Neck," Mermaid Com­edy.
"THE FAST SET," Paramount
Picture. Featured Players: Betty
Compson, Adolphe Menjou, Elliot
Dexter, and Zasu Pitts.
A dramatic comedy dealing with
the unusual methods used by a
husband to save his wife from a
"male vamp."
There was a young woman named
Florence,
Who for kissing professed great
abhorrence;
But, when she'd been kissed,
And found what she'd missed,
She cried till the tears came in
great torrents.
C. E. Reid, Alabama Polytechnic
Institute, '21, is now with the Gen­eral
Electric Company's District
office, at Dallas, in the capacity of
Specialist on textile mills.
Mr. Turk has returned from a
week-end inspection trip to Ala­bama
College at Montevallo.
Experiences in the Mak­ing
of an Engineer
I remember a story told by Mark
Twain of his own cub days on the
Mississippi. The huge floating pal­ace
on which Mark was a pilot's ap­prentice
was about to make a
'cross-over" when Mr. Bixby, the
pilot, developed a sudden and un­conquerable
appetite for pie.
"Boy", he demanded, "How much
water in that crossing?"
"Couldn't touch bottom with a
chAirch steeple," replied young
Twain.
"All right", said Bixby, "you take
her over, I am going below for a
piece of pie."
iProud to be left alone with such
responsibility upon his young shoul­ders,
Mark spun over the wheel and
brought the steamer's nose to bear
upon a distant point diagonally
across the river. All went well for
a few minutes until the captain
(whom Mr. Bixby had "met" on his
way below) stepped out in view of
the boy and cast an anxious look
around.
There was the entering wedge of
doubt. Young Mark began to won­der
if there was not a rock or some-thin
gunder the placid surface of the
water that his education had faile-J
to encompass; he began to see man­ifestations
of hidden shallows; over
there was a faint wrinkle which his
training told him indicated a bluff
reef; just beyond, a ripple denoted
the presence of a dangerous snag;
he could almost see the yellow san­dy
bottom shining through the wat­er.
The cold perspiration induced
by fear commenced to ooze out of
his pores and in a weask halting
voice that was the very entithesis of
the crisp commanding tone he would
have used a few moments before,
he ordered out the leads.
Alas! the leadsmen had also been
"seen" by Mr. Bixby and their
first lugubrious reports confirmed
the young pilot's worst fears. He
didn't know—he only thought he
knew.' The bottom the leadsmen re­ported
could not' only have bee a
touched with a church steeple, bvut a
yard stick would almost suffice.
Mark clawed the spokes of tha
wheel wildly one way and then an­other
to keep off the shoals that
were reported first to starboard and
now to port, until he was on the
verge of collapse. His last despair­ing
act was to bawl down the speak­ing
tube with what was left of his
voice to "Ben", the engineer, to
"back her! If you love me, Ben.
back the immortal soul out of her."
At that moment, Mr. Bixby, bear­ing
a large chunk of pie in his fin­gers,
stepped quietly into the pilot
hou'se. Instantly the shoal and dan­gerous
channel became bottomless
and safe. Confidently the embryo
pilot rang the engines ahead. Se­renely
the big craft again pointed
her nose to the almost-as-far-distant
point and went swimmingly on her
course.
The details of the lesson, which
Mr. Bixby pounded into young
Mark's cranium cover several pages
of the later Mark's book, but the
gist of the matter is that the yo*ung
man had been steering the steam­boat
by second-hand knowledge. The
super-structure of his education was
there, but it was not founded on
the masonry of experience. Many
of our would-be engineers would
consider themselves indeed fortu­nate
if their Alma Mater could step
out from behind a smokestack at
a critical moment.
It is not my intention to deprecate
the engineer-by-education, but to
point out that the mere acquirement
of knowledge from books or from
the experience of others, the abilitj
to pass an examination and to ex
hibit a diploma—does not consti­tute
an engineer.
To be sure, a college or school oi
accredited rep*ute does not grant
diplomas without reason, but it
does of necessity grant them to men
who are without real practical ex­perience:
men who may know, but
who are not yet certain that tbey
know, and who, upon encountering
a chain of adverse circumstances,
may find themselves in the same
plight as was the young pilot when
Library Notes
The University of Minnesota
cated a new library buildur
tober 31st. In the old libr
250 students might wor'
en time, the new buildi
for 1500 at once. It is
the finest building on
and, "rightfully so, for it
educational department
part of all the colleges in
versity." The volumes housed are
about 425,000, added to at the rate
of 19,000 per year.
The library of the Alabama Poly­technic
Institute now contains'
about 25,000 volumes added to at
the rate of 1100 per year. Our
reading room can be used by about
150 students, if half of them would
stand up at their tasks. But as
the librarian of the University of
Minnesota says, "the student who
will get up at five o'clock to stand
in line for football tickets, squirms
if he has to wait ten minutes for
a library book."
The University of South Carolina
has published an interesting bulle­tin
on their Package Library Ser­vice
for schools, clubs, individuals.
There is a Home reading Section,
a High School Debating League, a
Club Study Service, a Play and
Pageantry Service, a Declamation
and Expression Service. They fur­nish
not only the outlines of study,
but, on payment of transportation,
lend the books for two weeks.
We need so many new books and
have so little money that we some­times
consider the advisability of
soliciting gifts from our friends. A
deterrent is the memory of a book
shower given the High School Li­brary
several years ago. On that oc­casion
eleven copies of Owen Me­redith's
Lucile were proudly pres­ented.
The Public Library of Greenville
S. C. maintains a separate collec­tion
of books which is carried to
outlying districts in a book wagon.
There are some twenty-five hun­dred
books in the collection and
they achieved a circulation of"
thirty thousand. Our college li­brary
has over thirty-thousand
books for circulation and the
number of books that went out
from May 1923 to May 1924 was
five thousand six-hundred. This
low rate of circulation, less thai,
five books per student, is due to
the small amount of money that we
have for new and attractive uooks
This does not necessarily mean late­ly
written books. A new illustrat­ed
edition of The Three .Guards­men
will cause quite a revival in
the use of the old set of Dumas. A
boy sees a friend with the bright
covered book, inquires about it an<*
is introduced to the author.
As an illustration of this increase
of interest let us look at the circu­lation
since the purchase of about
one hundred books October 6th.
There are- now seventy-five of these
charged now. They have been out
of library three hundred and twen­ty
times. Some have been read by
more than one while out of library.
This Saturday afternoon a group
of six boys at one boarding house
are each reading a book which
they mean to exchange among
themselves before returning.
These books represent an outlay
of eighty dollars. They were select­ed
with the idea of getting some
clean wholesome books of adven­ture
for pure recreation. To ad­vertise
them the bright covers were
pinned around the shelves of the
reading room. Today a disappoint­ed
boy intimated to the desk assist­ant
that it would be kinder to take
down the covers of the Sabatini's,
the Zane Grey's, the Peter B.
Kyne's, when these books are all
out.
Asked in 1860—"What ship has
more passengers than any other
ship in the world?"
"Courtship."
—Cumberland Kick-Off.
Many folks mistake being alive
for living. Cumberland Kick Off.
the leadsmen lied to him.—Contrib­uted
by Westinghouse Electric and
Manufacturing Company.
")
THE PIAIHSMAH I
EXCHANGES
HIS KIND INTENTIONS
Second Looey—"May I break?"
Aristocratic Dame (dancing with
General)—"How dare you, air?
Don't you know better than to break
in on a General, officer?"
Subdued Looey—"Beg pardon,
madam, I thought the General was
stuck."—The Pointer.
Think of the mighty oak—it was
once a little nut like you.
She: "What's that tooth-brush on
your lapel for?"
He: "That's my class pin. I grad"
uated from Colgate."—The Reflect­or.
"What makes your feet so wet?"
"I've been • wearing pumps." —
The Alabamian.
Rule for class conduct—When
called \ipon to recite, talk quietly:
the children down in front want to
sleep, even if you don't.—Cumber­land
Kick-Off.
One reason why people do not
have more respect for laws is that
the supply of laws exceeds the de­mand.—
Mount Berry News.
A violinist entered a little music
•hop in London. "I want an E
string," he remarked to the man be­hind
the counter.
Producing a box, the latter said
"Would you mind picking one out
tor yourself, sir? I 'ardly know the
•es from the shes."—Denver Para­keet.
Bill—Bud, Judge, I wasn't drunk.
Judge—The officer says you were
trying to climb a lamp post.
Bill—I was, Judge. A couple of
crocodiles kept following me around
and I don't mind telling you they
were getting on my nerves.^John-sonian.
Singapore: "Well, I passed math
at last.
Malay State: "Honestly?"
Singapore: "What difference does
that make?"—The Alabamian.
WHAT POSTERITY MISSED
If the confession magazine had
been printed in the long ago, we
might have had:
"Why I Took My Celebrated Ride
—by Lady Godiva.
"Three Nights in a Fish—by Jon­ah.
"My Twelve Stenographers"—by
Julius Caesar.
"Outwitting the Wolf"—by Red
Riding Hood.
"Knocking Out Goliath"—by
David.
' "Was I to Blame?"—by Rip Van
Winkle.
"Who Was My Husband?"—by
the Old Woman Who Lived in a
Shoe.
Pearls and Vinegar {or Reducing
—by Cleopatra.—Saturday Evening
Post.
ENTHUSIASM
Nothing big ean be done without,
enthusiasm. This does not mean
that a person must whoop and v*!l
and get red in the face—letting his
spirits run wild. But it means that
one must have the enthusiasm that
will not be daunted by obstaclss,
that makes the hours clip by swift­ly
and carries on to the- goal.
Probably the best enthusiasm is
concentrated joy in one's job.
The man or woman with enthusi­asm,
intense and steady, holds tne
key to the world's heart. There are
very few people who are not sus­ceptible
to genuine esthusiasm. Peo
pie like pep, and their praise and
rewards are for the one who wha'es
into a thing with heart, soul an I
strength.—Cumberland Kick-Off.
Doc: "Gee, but you have a lqP*oi
bum jokes in this issue."
Joke Ed.—"Oh, I don't know,
put a bunch of them in the stove
and the fire just roared.—Cumber­land
KickOf f. ~
HIAWATHA
By the shores of Cuticura,
By the sparkling Pluto Water
Lived the prophylactic Chiclet—
Danderine, fair Chevrolet's daugh­ter;
She was loved by Instant Posfum,
Son of Sunkist and Victrola,
Heir apparent to the Mazda,
Of the tribe of Coca Cola,
Through the Tanlac strolled the lov­ers,
Through the Shredded Wheat they
wandered;
"Lovely little Wrigley Chiclet,"
Were the fairy words of Postum.
"No Pyr-iFyter can quench the fire,
Nor any Aspiris still the heartache.
Oh, my Prestolite desire, J
Let us marry, little Djer-Kiss."
Frenchman—"Ou, la la! I enjoy
ze shoeball game so much."
Wop: "You make me laugh, Ha!
Ha! Ha!
Frenchman: Make you laugh?
Pourquoi?"
Wop: "Such ignorance! Not Shoe-ball—
feettwll.—The Blue and Gray.
SHAKESPEARE PLAYED
1*HM!RALL
Quotations Prove It
N
"Down! Down!"—Henry VI.
"An excellent pass."—The Tem­pest.
"Well placed."—Henry VI.
"A touch, a touch, I do confess
it."—Hamlet. •
"More pushes."—'Henry VI.
"I'll catch it 'ere it comes to the
ground!"—Macbeth.
"But to ^the goal!"—Winter's
Tale.—Kalamazoo News.
If you see seven passengers in a
two-seated car you may know that
you are in a college town.—The
Blue and Gray.
Teacher: "When was the revival
of learning?"
Pupil: "Just before exams."—
Johnsonian.
- +—'•
FREEDOM BY .
TOUCHING A SKIRT
An interesting point in Arab life
with regard to women is that a man
on his way to execution is safe from
punishment if he can lay hold on thB
skirts of a woman. Frequently
criminals are blindfolded to prevent
them from exercising this privilege.
Even a porcupine has his
points.—-Cumberland Kick-Off.
go 3d
Extension Service News
sus-
DEFINITIONS -
Ideal—An object extremely
ceptible to shrinkage.
Lecture—Anything conductive to
sound, untroubled sleep; that which
dulls the senses; a narcotic, opiate,
anaesthetic.
Co-education—A method where*
by one avoids a brutal awakening in
after life. That which causes one
to look long and never leapt—Cum­berland
Kick-Off. i
Cramming—The art of living. A
bird's eye view of a sordid situa­tion.—
Cumberland Kick-Off.
University—An institution for de­fectives.
A day nursery in which
people are allowed, tor a nominal
sum, to leave . fredrul children.—
Cumberland Kick-Off.
"The spring is here!" cried the
poet, as he took the back off bis
Ingersoll.—Cracker.
GOOD ONES, WE HOPE
"I shall refer to the Book . o f
Numbers," said the Divinity stu­dent
as he reached for the telephone
directory.—Pelican.
The joke fiend was highly excitad.
He had a terrible Christmas dream.
Breathlessly he related how in Ms
dream his house had been burnt to
the ground the night before Christ­mas,
and he'd had a narrow escape.
"What happened?" said his col­leagues.
"I waa at the top of the house. I
had the goose in one hand and my
insurance policy in the other. The
stairs had fallen in and I was corn­ered.
But suddenly a bright
thought struck me. D'you know
what I did?"
"No", chorused his, colleagues.
.-, JXpluskedthjj goose and,--gSt
down," said the joke fiend.
. You can never drive a nail with a
sponge, no matter hew hard you
soak it.—The Purple and White.
SPOONBILL ANTHOLOGY
Here Lies Henry Peck
I am the victim of a cruel mother-in-
law;
For many years she had insulted
me;
She had wrecked my happiness at
home and my reputation in the
community.
But I stood in silence her bitter
"jawings;
For twenty years I lived with her
and kept my sanity,
And then she died,
And I died of over-happiness.
It is better to have loved a short
man than never to have loved a
tall.—Wo-Co-Ala J>Tews.
Thanksgiving Why Not ?
Some of These New Victor Records
RED SEAL RECORDS
1044-Th* Sweetest Story Ever Told (R. M. Stults)
Ma Curly-headed Baby (Plantation Sons) (G. H. Clutsam)
Hulda Lashanska
921-La alegrla del Batalloa (The Joy of the Regiment) (Jose Serrano)
In Spanish
Tristes Amores (Love's Disillusion) (S. Mugnerza) In Spanish
Violin, Flute and Piano Ace. Jose Mardones
LIGHT VOCAL SELECTIONS
19483-Drifting to You Marcia Freer-i^ewis James
19486-De Clouds Are Gwlne to Roll Away Violin, Guitar, Har­monica
and Piano Ace. Vernon Dalhart
DANCE RECORDS
19471-Have a Little Fun—Fox Trot Waring's Pennsylvanlans
19484-Words-Fox Trot The Benson Orchestra of Chicago
JESSE FRENCH & SONS PIANO CO.
MONTGOMERY. ALA.
Ima Nutt
I had always raised my children so
carefully,
Brought them up on oatmeal and
the ten commandments
I had never let them play in the
streets nor smoke cigarettes;
So when my son returned from col­lege,
Chewing tobacco
I committed suicide.
On last Friday, the Extension,
department had as their guests a
number of men and women from
the towns of Neaman and Seaman.
Miss Carrie Torbert, a former Au­burn
student, now Home Demon­stration
Agent for Elmore County,
was among the number present. The
meeting was headed by Mr. and
Mrs. Virgil Mitchell.
The «lub certainly has Auburn
at heart as they have established a
scholarship which will be given
the second semester of this year.
After reaching Auburn, they held
their regular meeting at the practice
house. Miss Thompson, A. P. I. fac­ulty,
gave a talk on clothing. They
next made a visit to Dr. Dowell's
office where they heard a forceful
talk on the educational needs of
Alabama. After the latter meeting,
they visited Smith Hall where they
lunched. At the end of the lunch
hour another meeting was held at
which Mrs. Clara Ellen Yarbrough
gave an interesting talk on the
progress of the Auburn club. Mrs.
Cecil Yarbrough, a former Auburn
student, followed with a talk on
"What a College Education Means
to a Mother in Rearing Children."
She told of the gret difference in
the curriculum of the colleges to­day
and those of ten years ago as
related to home making. Director
L. N. Duncan, Mr. Kernachan of
the cotton association, Mr. Cham­bers
of the United States Depart­ment
of Agriculture, made interest­ing
talks.
While in Auburn they visited
Auburn's new chicken farm and
manifested great interest in the re­sults
of the National Egg Laving
Contest, being "held, especially in
the record being made by the hens
of Elmore County.
~Jhe Macon County Federation of
Women's Clubs, under the leader­ship
of Mrs. Lida Jones, spent Wed­nesday
in Auburn, driving in from
points as far away as Shorters.
They lboEed through;.the Practice
House, toured the campus and
Chicken Farm, and made a visit
to the Animal Husbandry Depart­ment.
They dined at Smith Hall
and had their afternoon meeting in
the practice house where they had
reports and observed the work in
the house.
H. H. Hardboil
Behold in me the original tough
guy
I fought Indians back in '76
Captured bold, bad outlaws single-handed
Many are the men I have shot down
in cold blood,
I have broke jail seven times
And defied the officers—
But a hamburger brought me final­ly
to Justice.—G. E. G.—The
Purple and White.
DROP INTO-TKe
Tiger IMY
F o r a B i t e to Eat
POSSIBLE
Independent Wife: "John, dear,
how did you cut yourself on tbv!
neck?"
Inebriated Spouse: "Mustha bit
myself."
I. W.: "But how could you bite
yourself on the neck?"
I. S.: "Mustha looked in the mir­ror."—(
Brown Jag.
The Home and Community Com­mittee
of the Farm Bureau recent­ly
paid Auburn a visit. This com­mittee
included Mrs. John S. Mor-riss,
Talladega, Mrs. Morriss' Pel-ham,
Calhoun County, Mrs. Sam
Dunwoody, Houston County, and
Mrs. Findley of Lauderdale Coun­ty.
They spent the day with the
local Home Demonstration and the
Home Demonstration Staff. Plans
were formulated for a meeting of
Home Demonstration Agents, which
is to be held here during the'latter
part of January.
They took lunch at the Practice
House.
Miss Agnes Ellen Harris, dean of
women, at Auburn, made a visit to
Birmingham on Tuesday to speak
to the Birmingham Chapter of the
National Association of University
Women. This association is made
up of women who have graduated
from a standard American Univer­sity
or. College.
Tech^ndTurkey
goes good; but TECH and
TURKEY wilj go better if you
are WELL DRESSED in a
CASH STORE «J BIBMINGHAM
"1? ifrtXF * f
Snappy Socks for Auburn Men at 50c
-£&
\
#^%ifl?M
try
Toomer Drug Co.
For Finest Candies Made
/
Selling Purity Brand Mcdt-t £< t Cane is
v Auburn Baptist Church
11:00 a.m. Morning Worship
7:30 p. m. Dr. Y. FL Shaahbaz of * Persia
will Speak.
You were moved with Dr. Carson's
message of Africa, you will also be
thrilled with this message of Persia.
Come! Bring your friends
W. R. ABBOTT
Photographer
Opelika and Auburn
IN AUBURN TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS
f ^ ^ J i V I . Delivered in any quantity
For your convenience an office is located in
the Auburn Cafe, orders placed there will
receive our prompt attention.
Mason Transfer,
Coal & Supply Company
Phone 9103
*
Suspicion is the poison of true
friendship.—Tech News.
AN IDEAL XMAS PRESENT .
For Mother, Sister, or Sweetheart, is an Auburn Pillow
Cover, with the back side made to your own Specifications.
Place orders by Dec. 1st for sure delivery
BOWLING & MYERS
r
Counsel: "You say that the fence
is eight feet high and that you were
standing on the gro*und—not mount­ed
on a ladder or anything?"
Witness: "I do."
Counsel (triumphantly): "Then
perhaps you will kindly explain how
you, a man a little over five feat,
could see over a fence eight feet
high and watch the prisoner's ac­tions?
Witness (calmly): "There's a
hole in the fence."—The Torch.
Circus Man—"The leopard has es­caped—
shoot him on the spot!"
Guard—"Which spot?"—Oklaho­ma
Whirlwind.
(
Dependable Merchandise
at
Economical Prices
"Slip into a Bradley and out of doors"
S2E.W. D. Gibsonsg°oor Souvenirs
J —
THE PLAINSMAN
9 Students Lunch and Recreation Room
MONTEITH'S
Where Friends Meet
Auburn _ _" - - - - - - Alabama
GET A DRIVE-1T-YOURSELF
MEADOWS GARAGE
Phone 29 and 27
AUTO REPAIRS, TIRES AND TUBES
r
WM. Mc D. MOORE JACK TAMBLYN } MOORE'S MARKET
Phone 37
TH E MEAT MARKET IN TOWN
"Let's Get Together, Gang"
WALDEN DRUG CO.
OPELIKA'S GREATEST DRUG STORE
Opelika, Alabama
KAMPUS KICKOFFS
Why did the salt shaker?—well.
He saw the lemon squeezer, the
spoon holder and when he saw
the knife cutter—he quit.
Evil minds make unevil things
appear evil.
Tommy Jones says that he is the
cocoa-nuts on putting his hand over
his nose and saying. "Guess vot I
am."
"Where was Pat when the lights
went out?"
. "In the hed, of course."—Fooled
again.
GREENE & WATTS OP^A
KA
MEN'S OUTFITTERS AND SHOES
The Home of Hart Scbaffner & Marx Clothes
The Big Store With the Little Prices
HAGEDORJNS
Dry Goods—Ladies Ready-ta-Wear—Shoes
HAGEDORN'S—Opelika's Best Store
r-
UPCHURCirS STORE
DRY GOODS, SHOES AND NOTIONS
What has become of the old-fash­ioned
student who used to bring
up all of his work on time? Yea—
he has probably disappeared with
the old fashioned Prof, who realiz­ed
that his course was not the only
one in school and who assigned
reasonable lessons and gave quizzes
that omitted foolish proofs and the
like*
have to sample all of the meats that
they are allowed to sell. That is
we presume it is meat but that the
most of it is so heavy with gristle
and other foreign matter that we
are yet a bit uncertain.
Lots of boarding house man­agers
have evidently never heard
that the easiest way to a man's
heart is through his stomach.
A MIRACLE
An Auburn student got every
piece of his last week's laundry
back on time and strange to say
most of it showed signs of having
been washed.
THE
First National Bank of Auburn
ADVICE AND ACCOMODATION
FOR EVERY COLLEGE MAN
Any Financial or Business Transaction
Albert Thomas, '04, Pres. G. Herbert Wright, '17, Cashier
. C. Felton Little, '06, Vice-Pres. W. D. Steele, Ass't Cashier
USE KRATZER'S ICE CREAM
Your Local Dealer Has It
For your parties and feeds ask your local dealer toi
order from us. Our products are Pasteurized,using best
ingredients, therefore necessarily PURE.
KRATZER'S
Montgomery, Alabama
All the rats have a skin that we
love to touch. Yes, with a board.
They might use salve too, but we
expect that in this case it comes
after and not before.
We know lots of rats that show
signs of. weighing 100 pounds or
more. Yes, from the neck up.
We suppose the reason that a cat
whines is because he has so many
violin strings in him.
We wonder if there is a student
here that doesn't show a gripe
when warmed over biscuits are
placed before him?
College can help the man, but it
can't absolutely • make him. We
still have lots of heathens who
think that it is cute to make wise
cracks in the" picture show.
An old timer is one that tries to
make all the boys go to Prayer
Meeting on Wednesday night.
Every College Man Has Need For
SPORTING GOODS
And Every College Man Wants The BEST
Klein's Sporting Goods Store
AUBURN 1950
Traffic Cop on Toomer's corner,
Elevators in all buildings. \_
Meals served during examina- •
tions.'
Busses to all "Fraternity houses.
Water when you want it.
Keen Co-eds.
Gas masks for bum lectures.
Isn't it a pity that butchers don't
We heard a rat saying that altho
he had holes in his rubbers his
feet did not get wet. He says that
he had pumps on also.
"You say that you had jam
sandwiches at the luncheon, J. C?
Well, that's rather odd. May I ask
what kind of jam it was?"
"Don't be so inquisitive, my boy,
the bread was only jammed togeth­er."
He: You are the breath of life
to me.
She: Well, suppose you hold your
breath for a little while.
Modern inventions have done
much to help man rise in the
world, and alarm clocks and ele­vators
lead them all.
; Girl: iE^ou didn't recognize me
when I passed you in the square
today."
Guy: "I'm sorry. You see. I was
wrapped in my thoughts."
Girl: "Oh! It's a wonder you
didn't catch your death of cold."
•
The Rexall Store Whitman's Candies
NEWELL & LIPSCOMB
THE TIGER DRUG STORE
Phone 200
The Home of Pure Drugs A Service to Perfection
Auburn, Alabama
TOOMER HARDWARE CO.
A COMPLETE LINE OF HARDWARE
We are for Auburn always
HOLLNGSWORTH & NORMAN
LEADING CLOTHIERS
MEN'S AND BOYS' OUTFITTERS
Phone 21 Opelika
m
ALUMNI NEWS
r'
' • i
$>M.
~3~' FOR
REAL
MENi
AND .! \Boys
Hair Raising Events
—muss the hair unless a few1
drops of GLO-CO have be a
used. It keeps the hair
combed all day; pleasing,
refreshing; a liquid tonic.
•** toWt^wunterB «u»d barter shops everywhere.
GLO-CO (Gloss-Comb)
THE
ORIGINAL
LIQUID
HAIR DRESS
Send for Sample Bottle
Mail coupon and lOo for generous
trial bottle. Normany Products Co.,
6511 McKinley A.V.JJOS Angeles, Oal.
Name...
Address..
This week we shall devote the
space here to some of our alumni
who' are coaching high school
teams, college teams, etc. First we
must mention Dean George Petrie,
who, although he has not gradu­ated
at Auburn yet, organized
and coached the first Auburn foot­ball
team in 1892. (not 1492 as
nearly every rat thinks.) He also
financed this team and acted as
toastmaster at the first football
banquet. He laid out the first ten­nis
court at Auburn and still holds
the bicycle record from Auburn to
Opelika.
Harry W. Esslinger, All-southern
tackle, is the Athletic Director of
Tech High School, Memphis, Tenn.
Carey Robinson, '17, All-South­ern
center and captain in 1917, is
assistant coach at Mercer Univer­sity,
Macon, Ga.
J. B. Steadham, '10, quarterback,
is coach at Jacksonville State Nor­mal,
Jacksonville, Ala.
J. P. Creel, '21, football 1919-21
and baseball 1917-20, is now
coaching at Marion Institute, Mar­ion,
Ala.
R. V. (Flivver) Ford, '24, full­back
of '22 and '23, and guard in
'21, is coaching at Troy Normal,
Troy, Ala.
J. P. Major, All-southern and cap­tain
in 1913, is head coach at Wof-ford
College, Spartanburg, S. C.
W. M. (Doc) Ray, '22, football
1921-22, is now coaching at Win-throp
College.
Pete J. Garland and O. Fox
Howe, '21, are coaches at A. M. I.,
Anniston, Ala.
J. T. Johnson, F. K. Hanlin, F. J.
Almgren, H. S. Bourgeois, Val Price
and D. M. Chambers, all of the
Class of '24, are displaying their
wares for the benefit of the West­ern
Electric Company, better known
to the boys as Mr. Charley
Western. They are all on one
of the Engineering Courses of­fered
by the company. Almgren
and Chambers are on Devel­opment,
Bourgeois and Johnson
on Inspection, Hanlin on Produc­tion
and Price on Central Office
Engineering.
A. Malone, Class of '23, is also
with the Western Electric Com­pany,
having completed his train­ing
course about six months ago.
He is employed in the testing de­partment
of the Inspection Engi­neers.
!@
• ww?
Presbyterian Church
Regular Morning and Evening Services
m m
try
COPEUND® EARNEST
FINEST CANDIES MADE
SELLING
PURITY BRAND MADETO EAT CANDIES
Select Your Xmas
Cards with the Au­burn
Seal From ^
BURTON'S
Exclusive Line
J
t
At All
Auburn Drug Stores
LATEST STYLES
OPELIKA
C. S. WHITTELSEY, Jr.
SHOES, CLOTHES, HABERDASHERY
BEST VALUES
ALABAMA
THE PUHUMAM
| L L
A BOARD
M FOR
•ATLANTA
TIGER HARRIERS
LOSE TO GEORGIA
Winged Bulldogs Win First
Local Road-Race
of Season
With Bill Tate leading the way,
the Georgia Cross-Country team
took the Tiger harriers in tow to
the tune of 30 to 25. Tate ran bril­liantly
all the way, getting off to
an early lead, and finishing about
forty yards ahead of the field, with­out
seeming to exert himself.
Georgia won both first and sec­ond
place, the first Tiger to fin­ish
being Shorty Morrow. The saw-ed-
off one, running his first inter­collegiate
race, finished a close
third. Morrow has world's of prom­ise,
and with a little more experi­ence
should make quite a name for
himself on both the cinder path
and the open road.
The rest of the Tiger squad also
showed up well, inexperience being
their greatest liability. The whole
team looked good, and with a little
more training, will begin to ab­sorb
first places regularly.
The order of finish was as fol­lows:
Tate (Georgia); Marks (Cap­tain)
(Georgia); Morrow (Auburn);
Griffin (Georgia); Reeves (Au­burn);
Belcher (Auburn); Whig-ham
(Auburn); Evitt, (Georgia);
E n g l a n d (Auburn); Lahkford
(Georgia); Staton (Auburn); Dolvin
(Georgia).
SPORTS
Scores of Previous
Auburn-Tech
Encounters
Year
1892 ...
1894 —
1896 ...
1898 ...
1899 .-
1902 -'--.
1A03 ---
1904 ...
1906 ....
1907 ...
1908 --
1910 --
1912 ...
1913 --
1914 ..
1915 ..
1916 --
1917 ..
1919 --
1920 ...
1921 .-
1922 --
1923 --
Total .
Auburn
26
96
40
29
63
18
10
12
0
12
44
16
27
20
14
0
7
7
14
0
0
6
...r.. 0
461
Tech
0
0 .
0
0
0
6
5
0
11
6
0
0
• 7
0
0
17
33
68
7
34
14
14
0
222
TIGER MEAT
WHO? Georgia Institute of Technology.
WHERE? --- Grant Field, Atlanta, Georgia.
WHEN? Thursday, November 27, 2:00 P. M.
LAST MEETING
Atlanta, Georgia, November 29, 1923
Score: Auburn 0, Georgia Tech 0.
RATS STAGE GREAT COME.
BACK AND TIE TECH FROSH
Junior Jackets Get Early Lead, But Tiger Cubs Knot
Count in Hard Battle
WRECKS
There are train wrecks, ship
wrecks, di-rects, and TECH
WRECKS; the greatest of these
•will be the latter, we hope, tomor­row.
Join the wrecking crew.
Speaking Of Sports
The Tech-Wrecking Crew is
ready to do business, if Tech is
only in the mood to be wrecked
next Thursday.
Mr. Morgan Blake surely started
something when he doped out Mer­cer
to be the champions of the
world. Now everybody is using
the season's scores to prove that
every team is the champion of
everything. Beats cross word puz­zles
all hollow.
While on that same line of
thought, Vandy beat Auburn 13 to
0, and then handed Minnesota a 19
to 0 licking, making Auburn 6
points better than Minnesota. Now
since the Gophers beat Illinois 20
to 7, Auburn is 19 points better
than Illinois. While that is not a
world's championship, it is still
pretty good to be that much better
than Red Grange and Co. The main
difficulty would be in making Il­linois
believe it.
Fort Benning won one champion­ship
Saturday and assisted mater­ially
in winning another. While
the Benning team was trimming the
Parris Island Marines, several men
were on the All-Army team which
defeated the Atlantic Fleet, there­by
winning the handsome (empty)
- silver cup donated by El Presidento
Coolidge.
longer to be lightly considered.
And don't forget the scare that
Georgia threw into the Yale ranks.
There are several Southern play­ers
who would not be out of place
on an Ail-American team. Men
like Taylor, Lawrence, Wycoff,
Wakefield, and Reese would be a
credit to any team.
Notre Dame Loses Twenty-three
Stars This Year—Headline. Oh,
where is my wandering star to­night?
Dartmouth must be getting better
and better. They have been drop­ped
from Yale's schedule.
Pennsylvania and Yale will meet
next year for the first time in
thirty-two years. Now is the time
for a man to prove himself a real
"old grad" by saying, "Well, I re­member
when Penn and Old Eli
were playing out there." etc., etc.
The Western Conference Cham­pionship
was won by Chicago, with
three victories and three ties. The
great Illinois team, which was sup­posed
to run wild through the con­ference,
tripped up over Minnesota
and was forced to be content with
a tie for second place.
This has been a great year for
Southern football. Previously the
Northerners have used the South­ern
Colleges as schedule fillers.
Vanderbilt's victory over Minne­sota,
L S. U.'s defeat of Indiana,
and victories by Centenary over
both Butler and Boston College, all
•how that Southern football is no
Georgia certainly cannot be ac­cused
of avoiding trouble. Any team
that takes on Alabama and Centre
in three days deserves all kinds of
credit. Somehow, or other, though,
it reminds us of a man trying to
whip his weight in wildcats.
It is certainly doubtful whether
or not Georgia will win both games,,
and it is not an absolute cinch that
they will win either. Georgia has
a great team, but whether or not
they will be able to trounce the
'Bamians remains to be seen. It
looks like a pretty even proposi­tion.
Eight Conference games are on
deck for Thanksgiving, and the
Conference race will not look the
same next morning. These games
will be as follows: Auburn-Georgia
Tech, Georgia-Alabama, Vanderbilt-
Sewanee, Tulane-L. S. U., V. M. L-V.
P. I., Tennessee-Kentucky, Vir­ginia-
North Carolina, North Caro­lina
State-Washington and Lee.
WRECK TECH!!!
Showing that they have absorbed
plenty of the Old Auburn fighting
spirit, the Rats came back brilliant­ly
after a bad start and tied the
Tech Frosh 12 to 12, The Tech
Yearlings got off to an early lead
scoring two touchdowns in the first
period, but after that the honors
were about even, the Little Tigers
holding what edge there was in the
fray.
The first touchdown came almost
before the players had time to get
acquainted. Tech kicked off to Au­burn's
fourteen yard line. The
Tigers tried the Tech line twice
and found it firm, only two yards
being gained in the attempts. Ellis
dropped back to punt, but Crowley
got in the way of the ball, Martin
falling on the ball back of the goal
line. Lillard made a mistake as
to the location of the goal post,
and the score stood 6 to 0, in favor
of the Technical Crackerettes.
Tech again kicked off, the ball
going over the goal this time, giv­ing
the Tigers possession of the
,ova| on the twenty yard line. The
Plainsmen again found the Jacket
line impassable and Ellis dropped
back to punt a second time. This
time he was allowed to kick, but
the kick was not a tremendous one,
the ball rolling out of bounds on
the forty yard line.
After obtaining the sum total of
one yard through the line, Wright
tossed a pass to Hearn who strode
oVer the goal line for the second
touchdown. Lillard again attempt­ed
to dropkick goal but the kick
was blocked. Tech was on the
long end of a 12 to 0 score at the
end of the first five minutes of
play, and it looked like every tiling
was over but the shouting.
The Tiger Yearlings fought man­fully,
however, and manufactured
a touchdown in the second period
for themselves. Frankie Rogue,
whose playing was most brilliant
all afternoon, broke through center
for a long gain, putting the ball on
Tech's .eighteen yard line. On the
next play, Hearn was a bit over
zealous in seeing that Ellis hit the
ground, and Tech was fined fif­teen
yards for unnecessary rough
ness, the oval now resting on the
three yard line. Tuxworth moved
it up a yard at right end, and the
Bogue slid off tackle for the initial
Tiger touchdown.
In the last period, after both
teams had been fighting hard to
no avail, Tech got possession of the
ball on her own 27 yard line. Two
line plays and an end run netted
the total of two yards, and then
Robinson spiralled the ball for
eleven yards, the ball going out of
bounds on the 38 yard line.
Tech then assisted in cooking her
own goose by drawing another fif­teen
yard penalty for unnecessary
roughness. Three plays gained on­ly
a trio of yards for the Junior
Tigers and things began to look
more hopeful from the Tech stand­point.
However, Cantrell came into
the game at this time and flipped a
pass to Guthrie, the long Rat stroll­ing
over the line for the tying
touchdown. Ellis came heart-breakingly
close to scoring the
winning point when the ball just
did miss the left-hand post on the
drop-kick after touchdown.
This tie ended the season for
the Rats. While the fall has not
been entirely successful, it has not
been a downright failure. True,
the lopsided games with Mercer
and Georgia were nothing to encour­age
the Rats on to greater deeds,
but the Rats rallied at the right
time, and played good football for
the remainder of the season.. They
tied Howard, 'beat Birmingham-
Southern, and then tied the Tech
Rats after being doped to lose by a
comfortable margin.
Captain Pop Patterson put up
about-the best game-for-the season,
with Manley not far behind. Burns
and Scott were also consistent per­formers
in the line. A number of
good backfield men were develop­ed,
Bogue, Hardwick, Tuxworth,
Cantrell, Schotts, Snyder, and sev­eral
others. There are some excel­lent
prospects on hand for the var­sity
next year.
TECH AUBURN
Hearn (c), I.e. . . J . Richardson, l.e.
Elliot, l.t Manley, l.t.
Martin, l.g Burns, l.g.
Thrash, c. ----- Patterson (c.),c
McBride, r.g Grimm, r.g.
Hood ,r.t - Scott, r.t.
Crowley, r.e.-O. P. Richardson, r.e.
Manget, q.b. Bogue, q.b.
Fair, l.h .Hardwick, l.h.
Wright, r.h. Ellis, r.h.
Lillard, f.b Tuxworth, f.b.
Score by periods:
Tech 12 0 0 0—12
Auburn -. 0 6 0 '6—12
Summary: Scoring, Tech, touch­downs,
Martin and Hearn; Auburn,
Bogue and Guthrie.
Substitutions; Tech, Robinson
for Wright, Wright for Robinson,
Crowley for Elliott, Gastin for Mc­Bride,
Edwards for Hood, Conley
for Crow, Sprick for Wright. Au­burn:
Carter for Primm, Lutz for
A. Manley, Guthrie for J. Richard­son,
Shots for Tuxworth, Tuxworth
for Shots, Cantrell for Tuxworth,
Gantt for O. Richardson, N. Man-ley
for Scott, Pierce for Burns, Fox
for Patterson, Cantrell for Bogue,
Bogue or Cantrell, Newsome for
Hardwick, Garrett for O. Richard­son,
Shotts for Bogue, Snider for
Newsome.
Officials: Referee, Carpenter
(Tech;) umpire, LeBey (Tech);
headlinesman, Phillips (Tech).
The stagers all set for that clash that rolls around on Tur­key
Day. The weather, an important item, is ideal at present
and if the writer may forecast a few hours, it will be then. This
will make quite a different scene from the one a year ago. The
Tiger is also looking for a score that would make a storm look
like sunshine to them.
—WRECK TECH—
AUBURN LEADS ON
PAST PERFORMANCES
Have Scored Fifteen Vic­tories
to Seven by Tech
in Long Series
The Auburn Tigers and the Geor­gia
Tech Yellow Jackets have met
on the gridiron twenty-three times,
with the Tigers victorious on fif­teen
occasions, while the Jackets
have returned with 'the bacon on
seven occasions, last year's tie be­ing
the only knotted count in the
long series.
Back in the halcyon days of 1892,
when a man was not a man unless
he could point to at least a foot
of hirsute adornment on his face,
the first meeting of the Auburnites
and the Techsters took place. On
this occasion the Tigers were on
the long end of a 26 to 0 score. The
next year the highest score of the
series was run up, the Tigers de­monstrating
their superiority by a
96 to 0 count For five years the
Jackets failed to score, Auburn
meanwhile piling up two hundred
and fifty-eight points.
In 1902 Tech scored her first
touchdown, but it was not until
1906 that the Atlantans were able
to achieve a victory, the score be­ing
11 to 0. Then followed an­other
long streak of victories for
Auburn, the Tigers winning five
straight. About this time, how­ever,
Tech began to rise to the
heights of Southern football, and
since 1914, the Tigers have captur­ed
but one game, losing six. The
largest score of recent years was
compiled in 1917, when Tech's
wonder team buried the Tigers un­der
a 68 to 7 avalanche.
While the scores run up in the
Tech series have, as a rule, been
larger than in the Georgia-Auburn
battles, every game has been bitter­ly
contested. Several 'times the
Southern title has hinged on this
game thereby giving it more color,
but the two teams fight just as hard
when there is no title at stake. The
game has truly become the South's
classic, and draws annually the
South's largest football crowds.
Football Chaplain
Preaches Annual Sermon
REV. MILES SPEAKS TO
VARSITY ON "COURAGE"
Even as the knights of old paus­ed
to kneel in prayer before rush­ing
into the fray, so did the Au­burn
football squad, accompanied
by their coaches, come together
last Sunday for words of encour­agement
and inspiration from their
chaplain, "Bob" Miles.
This group of athletes, who have
yet to show fear on the gridiron,
listened to their spiritual leader
speak on "Courage," a subject pe­culiarly
appropriate for the Tiger
squad. For it was courage that
held the heavier and superior Bull­dogs
to a lone touchdown, that
fought Vanderbilt to a standstill af­ter
a discouraging start, that kept
the .team fighting during the en­tire
season in face of some of the
most disheartening breaks ever
visited upon a football team.
Mr. Miles spoke of many men of
courage, from the days of David
down to Tad Jones and the late
WRECK
TECH
"igers Ready
to Tackle Tech
After Week of Hard Work,
Team is "Raring to Go"
After a week of heavy work, fol­lowed
by a fraction of a week of
lighter toil, the Tigers are ready
for their last, but far from their
least, game of the season. Reports
from the camp of the enemy indi­cate
that the Jackets are also ready
for the festivities, thereby making
a titantic struggle practically cer­tain.
Last year, with practically no­thing
at stake, the Tigers and Tech-men
fought each other to a stand­still
in a sea of mud. There is no­thing
at stake this year except the
reputations of the two teams, but
a~ mighty battle is the forecast, for
Auburn and Tech can always be
counted on to fight it out to the
last minute, even if they have been
beaten in every other game of the
season.
One or the other of these teams
is due for an even break this sea­son.
Both Tech and Auburn point
more or less proudly to a record
of four victories, three losses and
one tie. .Now an even break is no­thing
to be ashamed of, but break­ing
better than .500 percent is vast­ly
better, and therefore, each team
will try to make the other assume
the even break. Of course, they
may compromise and call it anoth­er
tie. Any way that one looks at
it, the game is sure to be as close
as have been the Tech-Auburn en­counters
in recent years.
This will be the last Auburn game
indulged in by four of the Tiger
regulars.-LawFefiee, GrishwHr-Fraitt—-
and Sitz will all sing their
swan song in this game. This is a
quartette of linesmen that any team
would be proud to own, and sad,
indeed, will be the Tiger support­ers
in seeing these stalwarts leave.
Lawrence and Grisham are of All-
Southern caliber, and both should
get the call for the mythical team,
while Sitz and Pruitt are also per­formers
of the highest order. As
it is their last appearance in Tiger
uniform, these four stars will prob­ably
play even better than usual,
and with the cooperation of their ;
teammates will come very near
converting their Swan Song into a
dirge for Tech's hopes.
"Wreck Tech Special"
The special train over the West
Point Route to Atlanta will leave
the station at Auburn at 7:30 A. M.,
arriving in Atlanta at 11:00 A. M.
After the parade, wreck, and gen­eral
celebration, the special win
leave the Terminal Station in At­lanta
at 7:30 P. M., ana will ar­rive
in Auburn at 11:00 P. M.
Round trip tickets will cost
$4.43, and will be good on all trains
Wednesday. The return ticket will
be valid on all trains Friday.
—WRECK TECH I—
Percy Haughton. The deeds of
these men are an inspiration to
anyone, and the football team will
take the field Thanksgiving with
determination to show themselves
quite eligible to be called with
those who have gone down in his­tory
as courageous men.
DATE
September 27
October 4
October 11 .
October IS . .
October 25 .
November 1
November 8
November 15
November 27
How The Tiger Stands
OPPONENT PLACE SCORE
Birmingham-Southern Birmingham 7-0
Clemson Dn*e Field . — I S*
Virginia Polytechnic Institute Richmond 0-0
Howard Drake Field 17-0
Louisiana State Birmingham . . . . 3-0
Vanderbilt - Nashville 0-13
Tulane - Montgomery 6-14
Georgia Columbus .0-6
Georgia Teek Atlanta tt-tt
1
THE PLAINSMAN
REINFORCED CONCRETE
The Senior Class in Hydro Elec­tric
Engineering, had the hard sub­ject
of Reinforced Concrete made
clear to them by one of their most
distinguished students, Mr. A. L.
Scott All listened with wonder
as Mr. Scott expounded at length
on the subject. Nor did the class
sleep. On the other hand they
were held spell bound with the at­tractiveness
of the speaker. With
his striking personality he attract­ed
the attention of the audience,
with his wonderful voice, which is
a deep bass, he clearly held their
attention and with the deepness of
the subject matter he taught a great
lesson.
As a whole the speech was as
clear as a mountain stream, as
strong as the subject, as noble as
the speaker, and as forceful as a
locomotive. Many are eagerly look­ing
forward ,to the time when they
can boast of the fact that they were
once a class mate of the then world
famous educator, Mr. Scott.
APPLIED MECHANICS
1 roiessor Gannon gave a quiz
To his applied mechanics cli33
Out of ninety boys who took it
Only 'leven made a pass.
Then cheer for Stumpy Garman,
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Cheer for Stumpy Garman,
The Napoleon of today.
Day by day more drop-cards reach
him.
He says, "Well, let's see on«:e •
Here's a boy who's dropped this
course;
He certainly is a dunce."
Oh, dear Professor Garman,
Won't you please take paifrf.
To be more generous with the puswJ
' es
To the portion which remains?
If you will only give us
More sixHIs^and above,""T
You'll win from every one of us
Our undying love.
But here's to Stumpy Garman;
We adore him just the s*:<ie
Here's to Stumpy Garman,
Of Applied Mechanics fame
Fire Department in Action
Fire! Fire! Bang! Bang. The An-burn
Fire Department is in action.
First, Professor Hixon, Chief of the
entire department, dashes madly
down the street on the famous
"Bennie" bicycle which was so
generously donated by the owner.
The two wheel contrivance has
been painted red and runs like a
Studebaker. Close behind the
mighty truck lumbers and skids on
the pavement as the driver "Fatty"
Robinson spares no time. On the
rear of the truck may be seen two
firemen of great renoun, "Stumpy"
Garmon and Dr. George Petrie. The
former holds the position of ladder
boy while the latter operates the
hose.
They reach the fire and it is
quickly extinguished. A quicker
trip is made on the return as it is
9 3-4 minutes after the hour and
that demands quicker action from
these men than a fire.
As soon as the uniforms and tin
hats are issued to the force, it is
hoped that a picture can be made
of them and run in the Fireman's
Gazette. They are already receiv­ing
much praise from those who-see
them in action.
TWO PROFESSORS UP-STREAM
Dr. Fox, who was asked to resign
as Professor of Biology at Mercer
College because 51 his belief in evo­lution,
refuses to leave his post.
The situation is complicated by
the fact that Professor C. L. Carver,
of Lanier High School and formerly
a Mercer teacher, has been ap­pointed
to succeed Dr. Fox. Thus,
while Professor Carver is on his
way in, Dr. Fox is however not yet
on his way out. The affair is tan­gled
by still furtner ramifications,
for the post that Professor Carver
has left at Lanier High, School is
about to be filled by William Ever­ett,
who is a graduate of Mercer. .
Thus professor Carver finds him­self
in a curious position. His last
post is practically gone and the new
one not quite ready for him because
of Dr. Fox's refusal to resign. In
the meantime, Mercer College is
struggling. along with two Biology
Professors.—The New Student.
A CORRECTION
The Holman referred to in last
Week's issue of The Plainsman, aft
prize-winner at Boston Tech, is
Henderson L. Holman, Jr., and not
Frank Holman as stated. Both Hol-mans
are -worthy representatives of
Auburn, but, in this instance, Hen­derson
L. Holman, Jr., was the
prize-winner. _
Prof. Taylor—"What was Lady
MacBeth doing in act II, scene IV?"
Donald—"Cleaning MacBeth's
clothes."
Prof. Taylor—"Why, what makes
you think so?"
Donald—"She said, 'Out, out,
damned spot'."
Cumberland Kick-Off.
Ben Franklin has published his
latest sbng hit, a bass drum solo
entitled, "Ice-cold papa, don't you
try to 'frigerate me'."
—The Davidsonian.
Sympathizer: My good man, you
better take the trolley home.
Weathered One: Shno ushe, my
wife wouldn't let me keep it in the
house.
—Senn Forum.
A hope chest may have its uses,
but our opinion is that a vanity
ease usually gets quicker results."
—The Howard Crimson.
THE ATH-BL-ET1C CONVICT
The murderer had been condemned,
To hanging once or twice.
He asked the warden if he could
Take one last exercise.
The warden asked him what it was
(He knew there was no hope)
That he would do. The man replied:
"I'd like to skip !he rope."—Chi­cago
Phoenix.
Women's minds are so much
cleaner than men's, said Aurelia.
"They ought to be," said Grady,
"they change them so often."—The
Blue and GrayT
Kind old man: "Did urns break
urns ittle dollums?"
Modern Child: "Yes.' Whyinhell
do they make the damfool things so
fragile?"
—The Emory Wheel.
Officer: "Hey, there! You can't
stop here, you know."
Motorist: "Cant eh? You don't
know this car like I do."
—The Technique.
"Did you fall?" asked a man,
rushing to the rescue of a woman
who had slipped on an icy pave­ment.
"Oh, no," she said, "I just sat
down here to see if I could find
any four-leaf clovers."
—The Emory Wheel.
An old farmer, known for his
honesty, was impaneled to serve on
a jury in a criminal case. After the
jury had been made up, the de­fendant
was told to stand up and
state whether or not he was guilty.
"Not guilty, Your Honor," repli­ed
the prisoner.
The old farmer immediately got
up and started to leave the jury
box.
"Hold on there," said the judge.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going home," replied the
farmer. "Didn't the feller say he
wasn't guilty?"
—King College News.
Jew (at ball game)—Oh, Isaac, I
forgot to lock the safe.
Isaac—Oh, that's alright, ve're
both here, ain't ve?—Davidsonian.
The ministry of education of
China is opposing the sending of
Chinese students to American uni­versities,
saying that American col­lege
courses are inefficient and de­grees
obtained too easily. What do
you know about that?
—The Emory Wheel.
THE PURIST
When I met her at the dance, and
she said she hadn't caught my
name, and I said, "It's Stone," she
didn't say, "Oh, what a hard name!"
And when I asked if she knew
Sam Smith at Carolina/ she didn't
say, "Sure, I sleep in the same 'Lit'
class with him."
And when I remarked that it was
hard to tell the Rollins twins apart,
she didn't say, "That's easy. Har.y
always blushes when he sees me."
And when I happened to say I
like Kipling, she didn't say, "Oh, is
that what you/call it?"
So we went out in the moonlight,
and I tried the supreme test. "What
would you do if I kissed you?" I
whispered. She didn't say sh«'d
call father or mother, or even, "I
don't know; I haven't read the lat­est
College . Comics." She just
u.opped her eyes and tilted up her
face a little and I did. And she's go­ing
to the next hop.
Ain't It grand to know a girl who
doesn't take the college magazines
to heart.—The Blue Stocking.
A CliUETT-PEABODX'
CHIN GETS HIT
The Circle, magazine,of the Uni­versity
of Chicago, takes a few pot­shots
at College Fraternity Life. The
attack is made by Bartlett Cormack-an
alumnus and Ikon buster.
-. He scrapes at the fraternity idol,
We he-man with the Cluett-Peabody
chin; "the fraternity is an icubator
of politely complacent bores." And
now Mr. Cormack ptats aside the
scraper and lays on with chisel and
mallet.
"The fraternity personality, smug­ly
disapproves of aspirations, ideas,
sentiments, or beliefs that conflict
with those customary and tradition­al
In the group, and carries along
weaklings, who, but for the frater­nity's
protection and tutoring would
never survive. The fraternity man
I is an echo instead of a voice."
The editor of The Circle promises
the idolaters of the Fraternity their
Inning in the next issue so they may
bust the ikon-busters.—The New
Student.
ONE BUSSING
Captain: "Take this ' gun and
watefc"
/'" Archie: "Where's the watch?"
GOOD RIDDANCE
Murial: "I hear you've broken
oft your engagement to Dick."
Alice: "Yes, he was becoming i
nuisance—he wanted to get mti-ried."
QUEER NAMES FOR MEN.
She: "Did you enjoy the bache­lor
dinne% last night, dear?"
He: "Oh, yes; rather a slow af­fair,
though."
She: "And who were the bache­lors
named 'Mazie' and 'Beatrice"
who wrote their names on your
shirt bosom?"
Wifie-*-We'll have to hurry home,
Henry, I left the fire burning too
high in the kitchen stove.
Hubby—That's all right, I left
the shower bath running.—The Rev­eille.
He—"And so yota're the lady who
Is giving my wife painting lessons.
What sort of a pupil is she?"
She—"Weil, I find her very apt,
to sur the least."-
He—"That's funny, I always find
her apt to say the most."—The Blue
and Gray
"Well, I must be going," the
steeplejack said, when his foot
slipped.—The Reveille.
Fond Mother: Connie, I do wish
you,wouldn't wear that one-piece
bathing suit.
Connie: But, Mother, one must
wear something.
—Phoenix.
Don't get
Any fool idea about
Your education's
Being completed.
When it is
Six of your best friends
Will put you
in a hearse,
And even then
That may be
Only a step to
The next grade which
May be a lot steeper
Than this.
Correct this sentence:—
"Our lives are brief, and speed
away";
The college student said,
"So let us study whilo we may,
And get this lesson read."
—The BUM Stocking.
Without consulting any of the
authorities on etiquette, we wiH an­swer
the question, "When is The
proper time for a man to lift or
remove his hat?" for the benefit of
our readers. At the following times
and on the following occasions, re­spectively,
the hat should be re­moved
or lifted as the - circum­stances
may indicate: When mop­ping
the brow; when taking a bath;
when eating; when going to bed;
when taking up a collection; when
having the hair trimmed; when
being shampooed; and when stand­ing
on the head.
—Colorado Dodo.
She (coyly): "Is it dangerous to
drive with one hand?"
He: "You bet. More than one fel­low
has run into a church doing
it."
—The Tulane Hullaballoo.
Angry Professor: "How dare yoa
swear before me?"
Student: "How did I know that
you'wanted to swear first."—Tha
Technician.
HANDS OFF
"You certainly have a trim little
waist," said her admirer.
"You're right, she r e p f f e c l,
'there's no getting around that."
—Tech News.
TOOMER DRUG CO.
The Store on the Corner
Service Satisfaction
J. G. BEASLEY
COAL, WOOD and BRICK
Auburn, . Alabama
AUBURN CAPE
We Feature Regular Meals
Special Sunday Dinner
What do you
do Sunday
Morning?
Be o n e of 200 Baracas
Robertson's Quick Lunch
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT
The Best That Can Be Bought
Served At Well At Can Be
15 Commerce St.
Montgomery, Ala.
Particular People Pick
THE
PICKWICK
' The Proper Place to dine
MONTGOMERY, ALA.
J. A. Greene
TAILORING
MEN'S FURNISHINGS
Opelika
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Successors to
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Phone 72 Opelika, Ala.
'
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For The Best
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MAY & GREEN
SPORTING GOODS
M o n t g o m e r y - A l a b a ma
Hood College has an annual pay
day. During the twenty-four hours
set aside for the occasion every­body
in college settles all debts and
starts the year with a clean slate.
—The Emory Wheel.
"A co-ed," remarked the senior,
"is a girl who can stand under a
piece of mistletoe and never get a
thrill."
—The Polytechnic Reporter.
Stewed stude, at the telephone:
"Hello."
Voice in receiver: "Hello."
Stewed stude: "Hello."
Voice: "Hello."
Stewed stude: "My gosh, how
this dern thing echoes."
—The Emory Wheel.
A bootlegger suggests that Ameri­cans
should boost home trade by
buying moonshine instead of im­ported
liquor.
Here is a ood chance to die for
your country.
—The Technique.
it makes your
paper to
*
She: You had no right to kiss
me like that.
He: All right, I'll try it another
way.—Johnsonian.
"Shave and a haircut, sir?"
"Naw; brush my teeth."
Cumberland Kick-Off.
RAWTHER
A very self-satisfied man arrived
at the gates of Heaven, and asked
for admittance.
"Where are you from?" asked
St. Peter.
"Hafovard."
"Well, you can come in, but you
won't like it"—Rice Owl.
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