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VOL. XXVII. AUBURN, ALABAMA, FRID AY, DECEMBER 14, 1923. - No. 14 ^
FUNCHESS ACTING I LAWRENCE TO LEAD
DEAN OF AGRICULTURE TIGER TEAM IN 1924
Dean Gray Takes Up New Popular Among Students.
Duties In Arkansas Pruitt Alternate Captain
' • ' - / " - •
Prof M. J. Funchess, /Vice Dean
of Agriculture and Head of the
Agronomy Department of Auburn,
has been officially named as Acting-
Dean of Agriculture and Director
of the Experiment Station
commencing January 1, until the
vacancy of Dean Dan T. Gray, resigned,
can be filled. No effort
will be made to elect a successor
to Dean Gray until the next regular
meeting of the Trustees, which
comes at Commencement, it is understood.
Besides the new duties which
Prof. Funchess is to assume, he
will continue in the capacity of
Head of the Agronomy Department
also. This thrusts quite a bit of responsibility
on one man, but Prof.
Funchess seems as capable of the
task as any one who could have
been named. He has made an admirable
record in his present post,
and it is freely predicted that he
handle his new position equally as
well.
Many students who know and
appreciate Prof. Funchess will be
glad to see the Trustees appoint w o r i y jr
nith'permanently as Dean of Agri-f rainT»ess tl
Culture and Director of the Experiment
Station.
Dean Gray left- earlier in the
week with his family J o E ^ a y ^ ^ J ^ i ^ e t i a p t s
ville, Ark., where he is to become
Dean of Agriculture, Director of
the Experiment Station, ,and Director
of the Extension Service for
the University of Arkansas. Prof.
Funchess will look after his office
for him until he officially assumes
responsibility December 31.
Auburn regrets to lose so valuable
a man as Dean Gray, but since
he has seen fit to leave, all join in
wishing him great success in his
new field of endeavor.
Plainsmen To Have Strong
Schedule Next Season
DR. SWAN SPEAKS
TO UPPER CLASSMEN
NEW HONORARY FRAT
TO RE ORGANIZED
James Driskell Lawrence, better
known about the campus and on
the football field as "Fats," was
elected Captain of the 1924 football
team, the election taking place
last Saturday night at the annual
"feed" given by the Sigma Nu
fraternity in honor of the team.
Clyde "Hard Boy" Pruitt was chosen
as alternate Captain and will
make an excellent and able assistant
and a dependable leader, should
the absence of Captain Lawrence
demand his services.
Lawrence, star pivot man for the
Tiger Varsity for the past two
years, is one of the very best centers
that ever played on an Auburn,
or any other team. Although
rather quiet and unassuming, the
chubby pivot man has played the
game at top speed from whistle to
whistle for two full years without
being out one minute on account
of an injury. He has been a sixty
minute man in all of the, big
games since being removed from
guard to center, after serving his
first season at that position. His
snapper-back has been
this season and on the defense
he has been a terror to all
opponents who tried to gain much
headway through the Tiger line.
The qaptain-dect-^hails trnm.\~~~ril
Plans for the 1924 gridiron schedule are almost complete and the
present outlook indicates that the card for the next season will be
one of the most attractive ever undertaken by any team. Six conference
teams will be met and there is a possibility of another being
added to the list. In this case it will be the largest number of
conference games ever played by any member of the association.
For the first time in the history of the organization, the A. P . I. and
V- P. I.^teams will meet. This game will be played in Richmond
Virginia and with Tulane on the schedule, it will mean that one of
the representative S. I. C. teams of the Northeast and the team farthest
to the Southwest in this conference will be taken on by the
Plainsmen. With a schedule of this kind and with prospects so
bright for a great team next year, the followers of the Orange and
Blue should find it a season of unusual interest.
Tentative Schedule for 1924:
Sept. 27: Auburn vs. Birmingham-Southern.
Oct. 4: Auburn vs. Clemson
Oct. 11: Auburn vs. Virginia Polytechnic.
Auburn vs. Howard.
Game pending.
Auburn vs. Vanderbilt
Auburn vs. Tulane
Auburn vs. Georgia
Auburn vs. Georgia Tech.
ALL COLLEGE HIKE
A GREAT SUCCE
Eminent Lecturer on Social I Occasion Heartily Enjoyed
Hygiene Heard By Large Crowd
Oct. 18:
Oct. 25:
Nov. 1:
Nov. 8:
Nov. 15:
Nov. 27:
CROSS COUNTRY TEAM
IN MAGIC CITY
At last Auburn is to have a real
honorary forensic fraternity. For
several weeks Professor J. A. Kirk-ley
together with a few students
who have shown their interest in
this line of college work have been
striving to make this possible.
While the establishment of the fraternity
has not absolutely been accomplished
all of the preliminary
steps have been gone through including
the organization of the local
society. It is known that the
National Officers favor the installation
of a chapter here as they have
written the local society that as
soon as certain requirements are
met, these requirements being
mostly financial, the last - obstacle
will have been removed. The fraternity
is an outgrowth of Delta
Sigma Rho, one of the oldest and
largest forensic fraternities in existence.
The installation of a chapter at
Auburn will mean a decided increase
of interest . in debating.
Every year the Village of the Plaifls
debates Vanderbilt, University of
Ga., and Miss. A. & M. Last year
Auburn's orators won two out of
three contests, defeating Vanderbilt
and Mississippi, but losing to
Georgia. This year the respective
teams expect to win all-of the debates
with these institutions. Numerous
other colleges have written
in an attempt to secure contests.
The University of Alabama is even
desirous of renewing relations, but
the scf eilule is already full.
Plaritersvifle?Alabama, and came to
Auburn after finishing the High
School of his home town,' being only
fifteen years old at the time of
his entering the A. P. I. He had
had no football experience before
coming to Auburn and was playing
on his class team in 1921 when the
Varsity coaches began to notice
his work and gave him a trial, the
result being that he made good
from the start.
Besides being known throughout
the South as one of the best centers
in the country, Lawrence has
made an enviable record in his
scholastic work and other college
activities. He is a member of both
Phi Kappa Phi and Gamma Sigma
Delta, national honorary fraternities,
the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity,
and the Spades, a local honorary
fraternity. This with his
general popularity among the student
body, makes him an outstanding
figure in the Village.
YOUNG PEOPLE'S
METHDIST CHURCH
The Young People's Methodist
Chujrch held its first service at
11 A. M. on Sunday, December 6th,
in the auditorium of the Sunday
School building. There was a
splendid attendance and a fine atmosphere
of responsiveness. The
service was entirely under student
direction.
Rev. A. E. Barnett, Methodist
Student Pastor, will be pastor of
the Young People's church. He
will preach each Sunday morning
at 11 o'clock in the auditorium of
the Sunday School building. In
the evening there will be the single
service in the regular Church auditorium
and all students are invited
to attend.
The organization of the Young
People's church will be identical
with that of any Methodist church,
save that all offices will be held
and all activities carried on by
young men and women. The membership
of the church will be "composed
of the young people of Au-
The final tryout recently held
for the cross-country sextette to
represent Auburn in the annual
road race in Birmingham, Saturday,
December 15th, "found StockTe-berg,
Reeves, Boyd, Whigbam, Armstrong
and Lee, finishing in order
named. Belcher, who has been
•op—vr-rtr—m-Tile "pj -KU3T
was unable to compete in tiu,s try-out
but will probably start the race
in place of Lee.
Boyd is the veteran long distance
man of the Auburn track-sters,
having participated in these
endurance affairs -for three years.
Whigham is putting in his second
year in this role and is the only
other man that has entered this
event before. Captain Stockleberg
has proven himself one of the outstanding
middle distance men in
the South and will endeavor to
place in the longer distance this
year.
Of the new men out for the
squad, Reeves has shown most improvement
and gives promise of developing
into a first class distance
man. Armstrong, Belcher and Lee
who fininsh out the team, ,make it
appear strong enough to place well
in competition with the other Southern
colleges which have entered
teams in this event.
SENIORS, NOTICE!
Have you h a d y o u r p i c t u re
t a k e n ? Do n o t l e a v e u n t i l y ou
h a v e seen Mr. Abbott a n d t u r n ed
your honor cards in to
"Kelly" Mosley or Lutz. Coo
p e r a t e with the Glomerata
R o a r d !
burn and interested Methodist students.
There are approximately five
hundred Methodists students in the
college. It is with the purpose of
reaching this large constituency efficiently
and affording an opportunity
for religious expression and
training for service in the local
church that the Young People's
Church is being organized.
Every Methodist student is urged
to attend Sunday School and
preaching on Sunday the 16th. Mr.
Barnett has a special message for
the 11 o'clock hour. In the evening,
there will be a musical program
in the Church auditorium.
w CLUR INITIATES
NEW CANDIDATES
With the closing of the foot-ball
season, the "A" club recently held
a meeting to vote on the men obtaining
the coveted "A". In this
meeting 23 candidates were voted
the right to cross the^'hotHands"
into the secret shrine of A'ism.
..nib is the larger Tlumoer id life
initiated at one time in many years
and with the addition of the new
members the strength of the "A"
club will nearly be doubled.
On Wednesday afternoon anyone
coming into the campus would
think that this Lee county corn
was either affecting their eye sight,
or that some of our students had
gone "batty" and needed to be
transferred to Tuscaloosa. Candidates
were appearing in foot-ball
clothes, golfing togs, cheer-leader
out-fits and indescribable costumes
of every kind and variety.
Politeness on the part of the candidates
was evident at all times,
especially when someone would
ask one of them what he was doing.
The ladies of the town were especially
elated over the "soft, gentle"
reply that came as an answer to
the above question.
The initiates entered into the initiation
with the best of spirit and
looking forward to the time when
they can turn the pranks upon
some other victim. The exercises
were carried out to perfection and
a "warm" reception was accorded
all of the new members and the
writer happened to be in the "receiving"
line and is writing this
article on foot.
The initiation comes to a close
on Saturday night at the Gym
when the A club will give a big
script dance. Herman Jones and
his Tiger Six orchestra will furnish
the music and a big time is on
hand for those who attend. The
following men were awarded their
letters.
Reagan, .Lawrence, Harkins,
Brice, Pruitt, Sitz, Ollinger, Self,
McFadden, Spinks, Lutz, Petersen,
Ford, Allen, Green, Howe, Williams,
Harrison, Crane, Reese,
Sweet, Snapp, and Wood.
Of the above the following are
the new initiates receiving their
letter for the first time: Harkins,
Brice, Ollinger, Self, McFadden,
Spinks, Lutz, Green, Williams,
Crane, Reese, Sweet, Student Mgr.
.Snapp and Cheer Leader Wood.
At a special convocation called
for the purpose on Tuesday morning,
Dr. Eugene L. Swan, nationwide
lecturer and authority -on Social
Hygiene, spoke to the faculty
and the students of the three upper
classes. It was the first visit of
the eminent speaker to this state,
his home being New York. He was
introduced by Dr. Ross and for
three quarters of an hour, he held
the audience almost spellbound
with his wonderful delivery and
the fulness and truth of the message
which he brought.
"In the beginning,'" said Dr.
Swan, "I wish to announce my subject:
Girls. The greatest social institution
on top of the earth is marriage.
It should be what the young
.people want it to be, but unfortunately
it is not. One out of every
five of the couples who become
united in the bonds of matrimony
is going to break them in the divorce
court."
The speaker then discussed at
length the great problem of divorce
as it now confronts the people of
America. He stated that divorces
did not ordinarily result from anything
wrong with either the man or
the woman, but from the fact that
jjAither ever put the proper amount
pt thougtp i n t o t b ^ ^ j g ^ , , , ^
riage. Dr. swan Tinad.e plain the
great evils which result from the
disruption of homes, attributing to
such homes eighty-six percent of
the criminals in the country to-day.
According to his statement, the
children are the ones who pay.
"Boys," continued the speaker,
"you can't play too fair with a girl.
Most of the things in history that
have proved to be really worth
while have been started by women.
Do not sneer at a woman's opinion.
We must change the attitude which
men often have toward women
and we are going to do it.
The young people themselves are
all right, and all this cheap, silly
talk about girls and boys going to
the devil is tommyrot.'"
Lastly, Dr. Swan discussed the
marriage contract. He showed how
marriage calls for mutual fidelity
just as a business partnership entails
mutual honesty; and how it is
the woman who has to show the
greater amount of courage and
faith. In conclusion, the great lecturer
defined Social Hygiene as
"the rules governing the health of
society," and explained clearly
how important it was for young
people's happiness that they take
these rules into consideration.
AURURN GRADUATE
SUPERVISES
LARGE PROJECT
Fred H. Haynie graduate in mechanical
engineering class of 1916,
has just completed the supervision
of the erection of two powerful
derricks for marble quarries near
Sylacaug* Mr. Haynie was in conference
here this week with officials
of the mechanical engineering
department. He is now/ engaged
with Street Machine-' Works of
Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Mr. Haynie was at one time employed
by United States Shipping
Board as efficiency expert. During
his connection with the government
he visited various ports of
the world making a study of
methods of unloading cargoes.
I /
On last Saturday afternoon the
much talked of All-College hike became
a reality and it was carried
cut" # i t h decided-success. Never-has
the whole faculty and student
body entered into anything with
such a spirit of fun and enjoyment
as they did at this annual gathering
which took place the past
week end. - It was indeed an occasion
for lightheadedness and
merry-making and that is precisely
the way in which all who were
there entered into the spirit of the
thing and carried it to a successful
finish.
v Led by the band the student
body and faculty left Langdon Hall
at two o'clock and hiked en masse
to the designated spot about one
mile north of the town. Perhaps
about one half of the students and a
good representation of the faculty
were present. The afternoon was
spent in athletic contests of various
kinds all of which excited interest
in the spectators, and a
keen interest of competition in
those who took part. Besides
these, jokes were "pulled" on
the faculty and a
put on by the Cc
Baughman acted as,
monies.
'the afternoon was ' t he annual
of-war between teams selected from
the Freshman and Sophomore;
classes, in which the Sophomores
were victorious. The "Rats" found
out just how cold the water was as
they stuck to the rope until everyone
had been pulled through the
water. There were also three pillow
fights over water by representatives
from the Infantry and Engineers.
In these, the Engineers
were the winners in one, and the
Infantry in two.
After the last athletic event had
been completed fires were built
and the crowd proceeded to prepare
the meal for which the exercise
of the afternoon had given
them such keen appetites. It can
only be said of the supper that it
was apparently heartily enjoyed by
all and at all times everyone seemed
to be in the very best of spirits.
Weiners, sandwiches, marshmal-lows,
cakes, pickles and coffee
constituted a menu fit for a king.
After supper, just as dusk settled
over the spot, the crowd was entertained
with a magnificent display
of fireworks from adjoining
hills, the concluding event
which was the fiery "Y" representing
the Y. M. C. A. which sponsored
the whole affair. The crowd
then dispersed and returned at will-to
the "village of the plains" thoroughly
satisfied with the enjoyment
of the afternoon.
FRESHMAjft FOQTRALL MEN
TO RECErVE SWEATERS
For the first time since the inauguration
of freshman teams three
years ago, the members are to receive
sweaters. The sweaters are
to be blue slip-overs with
orange numerals, twenty-s
the front.
At the recent
Club eighteen r
receive their
receive numejj
titte, Eng
Robinson.j
Gregg,
taker, Lcj
ning, Stc
/
THE PLAINSMAN
y
pahtsmmi
OFFICIAL WEEKLY STUDENT PUBLICATION OF THE
ALABAMA POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE
FORMERLY "ORANGE AND BLUE"
EDITORIAL STAFF
Irving Patrick --- -- Editor-in-Chief
0. S. Hagerman^ Managing Editor
B. H. Swango Associate Editor
R. E. Lambert - Associate Editor
J. W. Bates - Associate Editor
G. Stockleberg •. Associate Editor
iry Apperson Associate Editor
Chloe Earnest Associate Editor
W. T. Wood - - - Sports Editor
Milton Collins Exchange Editor
g | BUSINESS STAFF
W Frad Almgren Business Manager
W F. K. Stockleberg - -.Assistant Business Manager
L , L. R. Housel Advertising Manager
k ^ A - * - A i Allen ... — — * . . . - ^ r . - - — i : - - --- Circulation Manager
1 D. M. Chambers -- Assistant Circulation Manager
Entered as second-class matter at Post Office, Auburn, Ala.
OUR PUBLICATIONS
One of the biggest needs of the
Auburn student body is that more
interest be shown in student publications.
Often -we hear it said,
"Why can't Auburn have a
• ^ snappy humorous publication like
other big colleges?" The main »reason is that the students, as a
rule, are not willing to pay the
price, which is the work involved.
Some real work is essential in tha
publication of any worth while
paper and the success of one of a
humorous nature would require
much of the afore-mentioned ele-iment,
plus a large quantity of
thought and a considerable amount
of talent.
There seems to be an abundance
of talent available and it has been
demonstrated that Auburn students
ability to put over al-attempted.
Th«y
ork hard if the oc-tt.
Only by pr-
«*rr:
and worth while be put over in
college as well as elsewhere. It
would be useless to try to sponsor
any form of new publication until
those of the ability and interest
along this line are better organized.
It is true that there are more organizations
now than are being
well supported in Auburn, but
there seems to still be plenty of
room for some form of organization
that will serve by trying te develop
the writing and journalistic
ability of those who are interested
in trying to put the institution on
the map in the field of college
publications. All who are interested
in a thing of this kind should
give it a few serious thoughts and
try to get together on the matter.
OUR CAPTAIN-ELECT
who
In their election of "Fats" Lawrence
as captain for the next season,
the Auburn Tiger Team has
followed the precedent set by its
predecessors.-it has chosen a
man who is not only a splendid
^e and star player, but one
is in every sense of the word
a real man. Lawrence has fought
burn for three hard seasons
|and now he has been paid the su-fpreme
honor of being selected by
(his team-mates as their pilot. Let
it be said that no greater honor
could be paid him in the estimation
of the student body, and well does
he deserve it,, too! Everyone
knows what the students think of
him as- a player, a captain-elect, a
l ? 3 l man, and a friend to his fellow
students. But it is well to know
what others think likewise. Note
the following extract taken from
sporting page orThe Montgom-iyertiser:
'Fats" Lawrence will
lburn Plainsmen in
is a well deserv-lh
to extend our
i»e New Tiger
finer cen-than
the
'e Auburn
rubbed
noses with Ed Garbish, noted pilot
of the Army and very prominently
mentioned for all American honors
both in 1922 and 1923, and the
Tiger captain elect has more than
held his own. He starred in every
Auburn game of the campaign just
closed and was the mainstay of the
forward defense.
In addition to his great worth
as a football player, Auburn has
never boasted a finer, cleaner
gentleman than the stocky snapper
back, "Fats" Lawrence. Ask any
Plainsmen opponents about Lawrence
and they'll tell you that he
charges with the power of a locomotive,
tackles hard and low,
fights with every iota of strength
in his body, but always clean.
Possessed with a pleasing personality,
loved by every single one of
his mates, a veteran generously
versed in football lore, Lawrence
will make one of the greatest captains
that ever led an Auburn team
into battle. He is a worthy successor
to |he__Pitts' and n *"e 1"a-tons:
""\iftat ^ ^.""ij/c-oie greatest
compliment we could pay.
'WOMEN'
R. 0. T. C. NOTES
Auburn is entering two rifle
teams in the Hearst Trophy Match.
This is a national affair and will
be fired in the spring. Teams
from all the principal colleges
throughout the country are to enter
the match and it would mean
much to Auburn to make a good
showing.
Pictures of all the teams will be
run in the various newspapers
over the country • from time to
time. Also news of the progress
of each team will be published.
Of the two teams to represent Auburn,
one will be the A. P. I Orange
team and the other, the A.
P. I. Blue team. Each team will
consist of seven men. The men
are to be selected sometime after
the Christmas holidays.
The Inter-branch rifle match will
be fired on January 10th, and the
results of this match should go a
long way to determine who will be
on the two teams.
The percent of Sophomores who
take up the advanced training in
R. O. T. C. at the beginning of their
Junior year is always a big factor
in the grading of a Distinguished
college. This year there are over
90 percent of the last year's Sophomores
who are taking the advanced
course. This speaks well for
our prospect for attaining the same
honor that we have had for the
past few years.
All the women just love to lie
And when you scold them, .they
love to cry.
You're always wrong and they're
right.
If it's the other way then there's
a fight.
When you're at school—they promise
you,
That while you're gone—they'll
be true.
All that stuff sounds mighty nice,
But don't believe it—is my advice.
The sweet young things are awful
smart,
They'll lie to you with all their
heart,
But when you leave you're soon
forgotten,
And the way you're treated is
something rotten.
"Never let. no one woman worry
your mind,"
Is a motto I think is very fine.
String 'em all and treat 'em rough,
And tell them to holler, when
they've had enough.
—"Bevo."
Following the above ravings of
"Bevo", Bill Basore contributes the
lines printed below, which shows
a marked contrast in the feelings
of the two as the holidays approach.
Jewelers will smile as
Bill enters.
SWEETHEART
Yearning, longing for you dearest
Longing thru the dismal day.
"All the world is sad and dreary
And happiness seems far away.'
Sick and lonesome just to see you
Just to know if you love me still
Just to taste your lips enchantment.
Just to know again their thrill.
Everywhere your face is floating,
Flashing swiftly thru tjjg-'air'.
Tho I shut.m^'fcyes7i see it
,JK?5en I dream it's always there
.JTMl TRC wfaejn. agnip J11 clnsn •gpq
Breathing, pulsing, next my
breast.
Tell me when again you'll whisper
Words that set my soul at rest
When I see you, hold you, kiss you,
When my arms about you twine
Then will I be happy dearest
For I'll know that you are mine.
J. W. B.
J. A. GREENE
Bradley Sweaters
Orange and Blue
COPELAND & EARNEST
STAPLE AND
FANCY GROCERIES
' —FEEDS—
Phone 125 Auburn, Ala.
BUSY BEE CAFE
BEST PLACE TO EAT
FOR
Service and Satisfaction
• SEE
" N i c k " and " G e o r g e"
AUBURN - - ALABAMA
Y. M. C. A. AND Y. W. C. A.
TO GIVE JOINS'
CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION
At Smith Hall, Monday night,
Dec. 17, all college boys and girls
will celebrate Christmas with a
Christmas tree, Santa Claus and
lots of other things. Be sure to
come, auy time between seven and
ten. Bring a ten cent present.
You'll have a lots of fun and receive
a present, too. There'll be
stick candy but nothing else sticky! |
'What a difference
just a few cents make FATIMA
s V
calendar now.
Published in
the interest ofElec-trical
Development by
an Institution that will
be helped by what'
ever helps the
Industry.
NOW is the time to plan your work for 1940.
What you are doing then will depend a
good deal on what you do today and after
graduation—and the way you do .it.
Obviously, you improve your chances for a big
job if you go where big jobs are and will be.
That means fit yourself to take a place in some
industry with a future.
Planning twenty or more-years ahead is "all in
the day's work, among the telephone companies
of America. The electrical generating and manufacturing
companies likewise look far into the future.
To put a telephone in every home, to light the
16,000,000 houses that are not yet wired, to devise
and promote many appliances for the comfort of
man—all this will require decades of time and
billions of capital. Chiefly it will need the brains
of men. - s *
It has long been said that electricity is in its
infancy. That is still true. You are fortunate who
can see this industry a little further along on its
way to a glorious maturity.
Astern Electric Company
Wherever people look to electricity for the
comforts and conveniences of life today, the
Western Electric Company offers a service as
broad as the functions of electricity itself.
Number 34 • / a ttritt
/
TEA ROOM
Regular Board Special Parties
2 Meals $16 3 Meals $22.50
We Repair Shoes
-By the Goodyear Welt Repairing System
We Use Panco Soles, Good Leather, Korry Kromes
Work Guarantded
B. J. JONES, Auburn, Ala.
College Pressing Club
BOB FOSTER
The Old R e l i a b l e - t w e n t y Years' Service
HOMER WRIGHT
Phone No. 9
D R U G G I S T
Auburn, Ala.
I
GET A DRIVE-IT-YOURSELF
MEADOWS GARAGE
Phone 29 and 27
AUTO REPAIRS, TIRES AND TUBES
S. L. TOOMER
Druggist
Store On The Corner
/
THE PLAINSMAN
HOLLINGSWORTH ®. NORMAN Leading Clothiers
OPELIKA, ALA.
Opelika Haedquarters for Auburn Student Men's>nd Boys' Outfitters
Exchanges
WE KNOW ONE
She: Does my face need powder?
He: No, dynamite 1
..Punch Bowl.
College classes change their colors,
Chameleons change with every
scene,
But leopards never change their
spots,
And the Freshman's always
green.
University News (Cincinnati)
one another and wrestling all over
the road.
Prisoner. It ain't true, your honor.
We wasn't fighting when the
cop nabbed us; we was trying to
separate each other.
-.Centre Colonel.
POST OFFICE NOTICE
NICE GIRL, THIS
I went to a fountain with Mary,
And met with an awful mishap.
For I awkwardly emptied a bottle
Of soda all over her lap.
But Mary was gentle and gracious
(There are few so tactful as she)
For, smiling with perfect composure,
Said sweetly, "The drinks are on
me."
Nuf: Yes, we had the loveliest
time, .and Jack's car is a wonder;
we passed everything on the road.
Sed: Well--we had a lovely time
too ..everything passed us on the
road!"
..Virginia Tech.
"NOCTURNE"
The moon beams through the trellis
of the porch;
Deep bid within the honeysuckle
vines,
With busy bow, and half his arrows
spent
In record-breaking shots, Cupid
reclines,
The night winds sigh amid the the
swaying jeaves;
-' """Ohl sweeter sighs that tell of
bliss unspoken
The shadows hear.-but never tell,
and then..
A grasp, a screech, a thud.-the
hammock's broken.
MODERN—AT THAT
Virginia had a hundred quarts,
Of Home brew, strong as steel
And after she had three in her,
You ought to see Virginia Reel.
"Yea," said the eagle, "that makes
me soar."
A pretty girl in a fury,
Took her case to a jury,
She said trolley "E"
Had injured her knee,
But the jury said,
"We're from Missouri."
AN ESSAY ON -PANTS
Pants are made for men, not for
women. Women are made for
men, not for pants. When a man
pants for a woman, and a woman
pants for a man, they are a pair
of pants. Such pants don't last.
Pants are like molasses; they are
thinner in hot weather, and thicker
in cold. Men ar/r often mistaken
in pants. Sucfi mistakes are
breaches of premise. There has
been much discussion as to whether
pants is singular or plural.
Seems to us that when men wear
pants it is plural, and when they
don't it is singular.
. -Exchange.
Officers: I found them clutching
Before we go home for the holidays,
let's pay our BOX BENT.
Because if we don't, some one else
will get the box the morning of
January 1st. Box rent books are
now open.
Those wishing their mail forwarded
leave address at general
delivery, and on your return have
your forwarding order cancelled.
All Christmas packages should
be packed and tied securely.
Those wishing boxes, have name
placed on waiting list.
Post Office will close Christmas
day at noon, in order that employees
have Christmas dinner at
home, patrons will please note
same and attend to all postal matters
before that time. ,
Wishing you all a merry Xmas,
L. A. KNAPP, Postmaster.
All Ice Cream and Dairy Products
PASTUERIZED
KRATZER ICE CREAM Co.
Plain and Fancy Ice Cream
Telephone 113
209-11-15 Madisou Avenue
MONTGOMERY - - ALABAMA
Burton's Book Store
Forty-five Years Old and
Still Ggpwing
[BOOKS
Complete Line of Drawing Instruments
and materials
L, & M. BURTON, Proprietors
The Rexall Store
Prescriptions
Patents
Sundries
Toilet Articles
NEWELL ® LIPSCOMB
THE TIGER DRUG STORE
200—PHONE—200
Everything Handled in a Good Drug Store
Whitman's Candies
Films & Developing
Athletic Goods
Fountain Pens
Light Globes
Auburn Shoe Fixery
Service and Satisfaction
Phone 48
The Big Store With the Little Prices
HAGEDORN'S
Dry Goods—Ladies Ready-to-Wear—Shoes
HAGEDORN'S—Opelika's Best Store
FRATERNITY HOUSES
BUY YOUR
Groceries Wholesale
THRU
WEE-WEE MATTHEWS
At the Sigma Nu House
J. W. Wright, Jr.
Complete Line of Furnishings
for Auburn Students
NEXT TO THE POSTOFF1CE
AUBURN, ALABAMA
GREENE & WATTS OPELIKA
•• • . • ' AL>A.
MEN'S OUTFITTERS AND SHOES
The Home of Hart Schaffner & Marx Clothe*
/
Kl IFN'S Sporting Goods Store
• » • • * " » « • *J MONTGOMERY, ALA.
Spalding Football and Athletic Supplies
We Are Always Glad to Serve You
EVERYTHING FOR THE SPORTSMAN
Miss Emma Godwin
The Auburn Hat Shop
Auburn - - - Alabama
The
Goodform Shop
12 Dexter Ave.
Montgomery, Ala.
The Young Man's Store
rENUS
PENCILS
eJm largest selling Qwlty
pencil in the world
FOR the student or prof., the
superb VENUS out-rivala
all for perfect pencil work.
17 black degrees—3 copying.
American Lead
Pencil Co.
220 Fifth Ave.
New York
Write for
booklet on
VENUB Pencils and
• VENUS EVERPOINTED
Mechanlesi Pencils
W. R. ABBOTT
c
Photographer
Opelika and Auburn
IN AUBURN TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS
A Record Still Unbroken
*2&5:20 P. M., March 8th, 1920, Wes>
tinghqxseTurbine Established World's
What Engineering Owes
to Good Workmanship
. . _ M. V A R . TtfHEN Wes- P Y^\J tinghousein-
Jjm stalled a 45,000
K.W. Turbine in
the power house of the Narragansett
Electric Light Company, Providence,
R. I., early in December, 1919, there
was no thought of more than the
average weekly power house run.
Abnormal weather conditions, however
,-brought so steady a demand for
power, that the unit was not shut
down until March 8th, 1920, after a
continuous run of 84 days, 11 hours,
and 36 minutes.
This was especially remarkable in
that the unit consists of two turbine
generator sets, each of which operates independently
of the other, so that the result was
the mechanical equivalent of operating a
single machine continuously for 169 days.
If space permitted, many astounding figures
could be cited—about the K. W. H. generated
during this period, the water and coal used,
the cooling system, the oiling system, etc.
For example, to keep the generators cool, over
18,000,000,000 cubic feet of air passed through
them, which equals 2,000 times the total
weight of the generators and their bed plates.
16 000 K. W. Wettinahouae Crou-Com-pound Turbine Unit at the Station of the NarraganteU
Elaine Light Company, Prowlenee, R. I.
Equally impressive, oil was pumped through
the self-contained lubricating system to the
bearings at the rate of 600 gallons a minute.
Had the oiling system failed for only 30 seconds,
the bearings would have been wrecked,
and other parts of the unit harmed!
There is interesting history back of the
operation of Westinghouse Turbine Units of
3,000 K. W. and higher. Notable records have
been made in many of the world's great power
plants, performance that is a tribute to remarkable
engineering and good workmanship.
Westinghouse
ACHIEVEMENT & OPPORTUNITY
\ THE PLAINSMAN
Shoes
Clothing
C. S. WHITTELSEY, Jr.
I THE YOUNG MEN'S STORE OPELIKA, ALABAMA'
M. C. A. AND Y. W. C. A-HOLD
JOINT MEETING
The cabinets of the local Y. M.
C. A. and Y. W. C A. held a joint
meeting on Sunday afternoon, December
9th, at Langdon Hall. Although
the two organizations cooperate
in their efforts on the
campus, it was the first time they
had met together. Mr. Tapscott,
student secretary of the Y. M. C. A.,
presided and an unusually good
program was enjoyed.
Miss Margaret Wilbur and Mr.
Milton Collins gave a discussion of
the Y. W. C. A. and Y. M. C. A.,
respectively. Miss Dorothy Dug-gar
then told in an interesting manner
"What the Y. W. C. A. is doing
on the campus" and Mr. Henry
Sweet made a similar report from
his organization.
Then the meeting was turned
into an open forum and different
problems of the campus wt.-« discussed.
The most interesting, per*
haps, was "The social atmosphere
on the campus." Both cabinets
agreed that a more co-operative
feeling between the boys and girls
on the campus was the thing most
needed here. •
'. An All College Christmas tree
was planned for Monday Night,
December 17th at Langdon Hall.
Mr. James Summerville, who
has been connected with the Y. M.
C. A. work in Prussia, Germany
and Poland and with the Student
Relief work in Russia, come in
during the last part of the meeting
and gave an interesting talk on
"Student Relief Work." Mr. Summerville
expects to come back to
Auburn sometime after Christmas
and put the Student Relief question
more definitely before the students.
AUBURN TO BE WELL
REPRESENTED AT
STUDENT CONVENTION
For Ladies and Gentlemen
OPELIKA, ALABAMA
On December 28th, there will
meet in Indianapolis, Indiana, a
convention of students from all
over the world, with the greatest
contingents being from the United
States and Canada. At the last
meeting of this Student Volunteer
Convention, held three years ago,
there were more than 6,500 college
students registered and a greater
number is expected at this time.
The purpose of the convention is
to study world problems and the
needs of the Christian world today.
Christian leaders from different
parts of this and other countries
will be there and and the
students will have an opportunity
to hear some real addresses upon
subjects which should interest
Chritian students everywhere. The
convention will meet at the time
above mentioned and will last five
days, adjourning on the afternoon
of New Year's Day.
Auburn will be represented there
by eleven students and two resident
ministers, with possibly others
who may decide to attend later.
Three of the local churches have
elected a student as a delegate to
the convention, and one delegate
is being sent by each of the four
classes in college. The college student
Y. M. C. A secretary will attend,
and a co-ed is being sent bjr
the Y. W. C. A. also. In addition,
one student is making the trip at
his own expense, and Rev. Chu,
Auburn's Chinese student, is being
sent by the Episcopal Board. This
will make a total of thirteen composing
Auburn's contingent, and
this number compares very favor
selves and to the college and
churches here.
The names of the delegates and
the organization they represent are
as follows: Rev. Ossman and Rev.
Chu, sent by the Episcopal Board;
Rev. Holmes of the Baptist Church;
Henry W. Sweet of the Senior
Class; William A. Young of the Junior
Class;'Kelly Pesey of the Sophomore
Class; Pete Hassler of the
Freshman Class; Leldon H. Tapscott
of the Y. M. C. A.; Miss Emily
Hare of the Y. W. C. A.; Miss Chloe
Earnest from the Methodist church;
Royce Crawford from the Presbyterian
Church; Felston Mullins
from the Baptist Church; Oliver T.
Ivey, on his own volition. This is
a splendid representation of ministers
and students and Auburn
can feel justly proud of them.
OF BIRMINGHAM 3«>/r/E AT 19™ ST.
CHEMICAL FRATERNITY
PLEDGES INITIATED
ation that
ith to them-
Gifts That Will Be Ufsefull
For Men: Sweaters, Neck Ties, Socfts, Hats, Bath
Robes, etc I
For Women: Hosiery, House Slippers in all Shades
and Quality. /
For Children: Bicycles, Badiet Balls, Footballs,
Tennis Goods. /
<
WE WILL APPRECIATE YOUR PATRONAGE
W. D. GIBSON
Pledges of Gamma Sigma Epsil
on, national chemical fraternity,
for the year 1923-24 were formally
initiated into the brotherhood
Wednesday night, December 6th. A
banquet for the newly elected men
was held on-the following night in
the Auburn Tea Room at which
Dr. B. B. Ross, head of the chemical
department of the college, presided.
That a room would be set
apart in the new chemical building
for the exclusive use of the
members of the chemical organization
when the college secured.sufficient
appropriations to justify the
erection of a new chemistry building,
was announced by Dr. Ross.
At present the, membership of
the brotherhood is "13". • Charles
—the newest styles First
—the best values Always
SPECIALISTS IN
YOUNG MEN'S APPAREL
Willingham-Hamer Drug Co., Inc.
Drugs, Toilet Articles, Stationery
Cigars and Tobacco
Opelika Alabama
CLIFTON A. JONES
Staple and
Fancy Groceries
AUBURN, ALABAMA
RALEY'S CAFE
Strictly AU-American
We handle only the best the market
affords, and solicit your
patronage
25 Commerce St., Montgomery, Ala.
inPrizes
What 10 words best
4escribe the new cap?
Afi you see, the Williams' Shaving Cream
Cap is hinged on and can't get lost. Tell
m how it helps you. Do you find it a time-
Mver? Do you, because of it, find
greater satisfaction in quick - working
Williams' lather, so gently beneficial to your skin?
our offer; then write u s a winning slogan.
Our prize offer
Smith, senior, is president,
ably with those going as delegat(es|<:-'i2^atesI "were: E. S. Kilgpre, A.
Harman, W. F. Powell and Frank
Dorrili, juniors;~(j. afeS lieifer, sen-ior,
and Professors G. H. Marsh and
H. M. Martin, honorary members
of the chemical faculty.
That the organization is attracting
considerable, attention throughout
the south is shown by a clipping
from a recent issue of The
Davidsonian, official publication
of Davidson (N. C.) college as follows:
"Davidson College will be the recipient
of a very singular honor
on Friday and Saturday (November
16-17) when the national officers
and delegates from all the chapters
of Gamma Sigma Epsilon, national
chemical fraternity, convene here
in the annual convention of that
organization. The Alpha Alpha
chapter, located at Davidson, which
is the mother chapter of the fraternity,
will be the host to the visiting
chemists.
"Doctor Arbuckle,. Davidson's
head professor of chemistry, and
also a national officer in Gamma
Sigma Epsilon, will preside at the
convention meetings. Among the
other officers expected ati» Dr. L.
P. Good, Worthy Grand Alchemist
from Johns Hopkins University; M.
A. Siske, Grand Recorder, from
University of Virginia and R. A.
Doubles, of Richmond, Va., Grand
Visor.
Delegates are expected from
John Hopkins University, University
of Florida, North Carolina
State College, and Alabama Polytechnic
Institute (Auburn)."
Herman Jones, an officer in the
local chapter attended the convention
and reported that the gathering
of the chemists was productive
of good results- to both the national
standing of Gamma Sigma Epsilon
and the chapter installed at
Auburn.
MA GREEN
AUBURN PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
R. W. Miles, Pastor, Phone 53-W
11:00 A.M.: "I GO, SIR"—AND WENT NOT
7:30 P. M-: STONEWALL JACKSON
The American Legion has been invited to attend the
evening service in a body.
SPORTING GOODS
Montgomery - Alabama
Read
For ttaa bast sentence often words or
IMP on the value of the Williams'
Hinged Cap, we offer the following
prises: l«prisc*iOO;2ndprise$50;two
3rd prises, 925 each; two 4th prises,$10
each; sis Sth prises, tS each. Any undergraduate
or graduate student Is
eligible. If two or more persons submit
identical slogans deemed worthy
of prises, the full amount of the prise
will be awarded to each. Contest closes
at midnight, March 14th, 1924- Winners
will be announced as soon thereafter
as possible. You may submit any number
of slogans but write on one side of
paper only, putting name, address, college
and class at top of each sheet.
Address letters to Contest Editor,
The ). B. Williams Co., Glastonbury,
Conn.
• ^
F.D.Lee Taylor
JEWELER
Auburn.Alabama
^BAP33gip_GHURe»
E. W. HOLMES, Pastor
11:00 A. M.: CHRISTIAN THOUGHT
7:30 P. M.: CHRISTMAS, PAGEANT—WHITE GIFTS
FOR THE KING
Good Fellowship and a Warm
Welcome. Come!
J. G. BEASLEY
COAL and WOOD
AUBURN - - ALABAMA
Robertson's Quick Luuch
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT
The Best That Can Be Bought
Served As Well As Can Be Served
15 Commerce St., Montgomery, Ala
Particular People Pick
THE
PICKWICK
THE PROPER PLACE TO DINE
Montgomery, Alabama
Auburn Students!
We Welcome You!
Our Service for
Auburn Men
at all times
MITCHELLS
BARBER SHOP
j
We Will Be Pleased With Your
Patronage When In
Opelika
Thomason Drug Store
H. Thomason Frank Frazer
v..
HEADQUARTERS FOR XMAS SHOPPERS
WHITMAN'S CANDIES, CONKLIN'S AND ARTCRAFT
FOUTAIN PENS
WALDEN DRUG CO.
OPELIKA'S FINEST AND MOST MODERN DRUG STORE
Where Service is the Motto and Quality the Ideal
W. McD. Moore Jack Tamplyn
MOORE'S MARKET
Phone 37
We have what you want when you want it
AUBURN ALABAMA
Bank of Auburn
AUBURN, ALA
S. L. TOOMER, Pre*. Dr. C. A. CARY, Vice Pres.
W. D. MARTIN, Cashier
We a r e here to serve the public in any of the
Banking Lines
—? 1 ~f—
