Bell, T. S. Letters (1862)

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In Cantonment near 
Newbern, N. C. 
March 27th 1862

My dear Mrs Mason,

Though I wrote to you a long letter as 
late as last Sunday, yet, relying on your kind assurance 
that I need not fear that frequent letters from me 
will “trouble you,” I feel I cannot let this 
evening pass – tho’ “tattoo” has already sounded – 
without an answer to your most welcome letters of 
the 13th & 15th Inst., - that reached me safely by the mail 
two days ago. Could I have known on the 13th that you 
were then writing to me I’m quite sure that the thought 
would have cheered me on. I’ll never forget the 
labors or anxiety of that dreary afternoon or night 
as with broken down men, I equally fatigued, tried 
to urge them forward with the heavy cannon over 
the seemingly impassable road. Every moment I 
expected to hear the battle open ahead, & learning the 
absolute necessity of having the artillery up, & the 
almost utter impossibility of getting it forward, 
I leave you to imagine my feelings. You may be 
certain that Gen’l Burnside’s kind message that 
I might rest if I thought best, was an immense 
relief to me, & to you I may confess that his con-
gratulations & thanks, as, tired to death, covered 
with mud & wet through & through, I told him that 
I had all the guns before his headqrs. before the 
earliest dawn of day, fully compensated me

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for all my labor, & really made the two or 
three rails, on which, blanketless, I slept till 
day, seem quite a pleasant bed. Could I have 
known tho’ that during some part of this march – 
or rather drag – you were writing to me, I think 
I should have valued that even more than my 
General’s thanks. The letters I’ve written to you 
since our establishment here, in which I give 
you some account of the action, were addressed 
to Annapolis, but have, I presume, been forwarded 
to you. The newspaper accounts of the battle 
are I see quite full, but we (that is my Reg’t) 
feel rather chagrined that the N.Y. 51st should 
be given the credit of the charge which we 
made. Fortunately, however, Gen’l Reno was 
himself present at the time & gives us the credit 
in his report. Today the SS “Cossack” 
sailed for Annapolis to bring D’Epineuil 
Zouaves down here. I can’t say that any of
us feel any very great desire to see them 
again, as our intercourse with then at A. didn’t 
impress any of us very favourably, & since the 
gallant conduct & death of their Lt. Col. 
at Roanoke fighting away from the reg’t 
that had so persecuted him – I may say that 
there is a general feeling to dislike to them 
throughout the Division. How much, had you been 
at home, I should have like to have

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taken passage on the old “Cossack” & visited 
Annapolis again! I ‘m sure my feelings on reentering 
your beautiful harbor would have been far 
different from those which I had on that 
gloomy morning when we sailed out – only four 
months ago. So much has happened since then 
that it seems scarcely possible that it is so 
short a time ago. Would my appearance in 
Annapolis again have astonished you much? & 
are you quite certain that you would not for 
a moment wondered, “isn’t it his ghost?” 
I intended to have written to you yesterday, but 
I was feeling so very gloomy that I was fearful 
my letter would bear the plain marks of 
my pessimism. “The blues” of yesterday were occasioned 
by Col. Hartranft suddenly leaving for the 
north on a twenty day furlough. By the same 
mail that brought me your letter he heard of 
the death of one of his children, the serious illness 
of the other two, & the probable sickness of his 
wife. Poor fellow, he was greatly distressed & 
applied immediately for leave, &, before 
I could well realize it, he was on board 
the N. York, bound north. Tho’ I appreciated 
the necessity of his going, yet I was most 
sorry to see him go, for I don’t relish the 
heavy responsibilities of commanding a 
regiment at this time. It’s no joke to have

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charge of a regiment that is liable to be 
attacked by the enemy at any moment. In his 
coolness, bravery, & good judgment I have 
the very fullest confidence & so shall 
look forward to his return with the greatest 
anxiety. We are entrenching ourselves on 
the Newbern side of the river so that if the 
enemy come down they will meet with a 
remarkably warm reception. Should they 
come down on this (south) side of the 
Trent my reg’t will be the first to meet 
them, as we are about a mile nearer to them 
than the others. I hardly think they’ll venture tho’ 
to make the attack.

Thank you, my dear Mrs. Mason, for the 
confidence you have manifested in me by 
telling me of your husband’s objections to 
our friendly correspondence. I regret, most 
sincerely, that he should carry his objections 
to the Federal cause so far. Perhaps, if 
I did not value your correspondence as much 
as I do, my pride might counsel me to rob 
myself of its pleasures, but I cannot 
for a moment be so unselfish & selfsacrificing. 
Could I appreciate that there was anything 
wrong in our correspondence, did I not think 
that it was of great good, to me at least, 
I might say good bye to it, 
but, as it is, I cannot & your assurance

[remainder of letter is missing]